E205_Hot Mom Summer: Summer Makes Everything Harder (Jun 2, 2026)

Caitlin 0:02

Hey friends, I'm so glad you're here. Just tell me if this is just me. I feel like summer sort of turns everyone into a mildly less competent version of themselves. And not in any sort of tragic way, just like in a very normal way. You know, it's kind of like that time between Christmas and New Year's where nobody knows what day it is. Expectations for snacks are just completely out of control. Bedtimes are a suggestion. Somehow we're all supposed to be making these magical memories and staying sane while all that other chaos is happening. And for me, that's a lot. I imagine I'm not the only one. So welcome back to How to Be a Grown Up. This is the podcast from moms who are really just trying their best. And sometimes their best looks like eating cereal over the sink and then trying to relax in bed and realizing at like 10:32 that you never switched the laundry over and you don't have any more swim towels for tomorrow. I'm Caitlin, and this week I'm kicking off what I'm calling my hot mommer series with a topic that I think is gonna feel a little bit familiar. Just how summer makes everyone worse at everything. I'm hoping it's everyone, because it definitely makes me worse at everything. And again, I don't mean that in a mean way. I mean it in the most compassionate, loving, but realistic way. You know, like, wow, this season really, really does a number on us. That kind of way. Because at least for me, once school is out, a lot of that invisible structure, that routine that helps me, especially as someone with ADHD, hold my life together, it's it's gone. It disappears. And then we as parents, especially moms, are left being the scheduler, the snack person, the entertainment director, sometimes bedtime negotiator, which sort of feels like a hostage situation. Maybe family cruise director. I don't know. It's just so much harder. And all of those things, of course, it feels harder, just compounds it all. Are you subscribed before I keep going? Are you subscribed to this show? Please make sure you are. You don't want to miss Hot Mom Summer. Come on. Anyway.

Why summer feels so tough

Caitlin 2:49

Okay, so I'm just gonna give you my thoughts about why summer makes us all inept. That's that's not the right word, but like gently, slightly inept. It looks relaxing, right? You'd think of summer and there's nostalgia there. There's barefoot kids and iced coffee and popsicles and pool days and you know, leisure, leisurely afternoons, bathing in the sun, right? But it's not necessarily that way for moms. What you're remembering is a parent who put all that together for you. You just didn't see it. For moms, it's a constant string of one decision after another, lots of small ones. What are we doing today? What are they eating? How much screen time is too much? What do you mean you're hungry? You literally just had a snack. Why did I plan to leave the house? This is a terrible idea. Everyone's miserable. We're all hot, we're all sweaty, we're all dirty, and now we're all tired. And we need to go back home right now. By the end of the day, you've made a hundred or more of these tiny little decisions before lunchtime, and your brain is just completely done. I don't know about you for you, but that's for me. But that's why everything feels more annoying than it should. That's because it's decision fatigue. You're completely wiped out, and summer gives you more of it. It's the weekend on steroids. And then because of this nostalgia, there's this pressure to make every bit of summer special. And that makes a lot

"Summer" is a myth. Find simple joys instead.

Caitlin 4:46

of sense, right? We had fun in the summer. We want our kids to have fun in the summer. We want good memories, we want them to have good memories, we want this season to feel different in a good way. But the problem with that is somewhere in all of this, like, I don't know, I don't want to say Pinterest culture, but kind of Pinterest culture and social media culture, special started to mean fancy, elaborate. And it doesn't have to mean that. Especially right now, in this particular moment in our country when literally everything is more expensive, right? Like it costs two times as much to get to work. Never mind traveling somewhere. You know, that alone can turn into a financial hardship. You know, forget just like staying in a place. So remember when you were a kid? When you were a kid, what stands out as special? There were probably some big moments, but I bet the popsicles on the porch stand out. Or watermelon, I don't know. I'm always I think of having like a big slice, a big wedge of watermelon, and I was just all over my face. And I remember eating that at my grandmother's house in her backyard. I don't know why I remember that. It wasn't like a big thing for her to do that, I don't think, but I remember having a wedge of watermelon in her backyard. That was special to me. It could be a late-night walk. Maybe you guys don't do late-night walks. It could be a movie in the middle of the afternoon that you take everybody to the movie theater because everyone is overheated and emotionally fragile, and you just need a minute where their eyes are locked on a screen, but it still feels like an outing. Why can't special just be everyone's in a decent mood because they all have a popsicle in their hand? Summer doesn't have to look like an Instagram highlight reel. That's not real life. You know what real life looks like, and it doesn't look like Instagram.

Your summer goal: Real, not Fancy

Caitlin 7:09

So instead of asking yourself, you know, how do I make this summer amazing for my kids? I think the real and realistic question, the better question should be how do I make this summer more livable for me and my family? Doesn't that feel a lot more doable? Maybe it means that you're choosing a few goals for yourself, right? One outing a week, one slow morning a week, one pool day, one low effort dinner plan, you order pizza once a week, or you do what Jenny calls my baby shark board, not like baby shark do do do do to do, but like baby sharkerie board, big snack one bedtime that is protected because that means that you get to watch your shows after that. Everything else can be loose, right? You don't need to win summer so that your kids have this magical, elaborate story to tell when they get back to school in the fall. It's not your job to keep up with anyone. You just have to get through summer with enough spoons and joy left in your system that you still feel like yourself and you're not completely burnt out on family time.

Tiny change I'm making to help myself this summer

Caitlin 9:06

So I'm gonna propose a few small things, and I'm mostly proposing them for myself because I need this just as much as anyone else. A few small things that can make a big difference for this summer. One is intentionally lowering the bar for what a good summer looks like. Not for forever, just for this season. It doesn't have to be this elaborate take my kids to XYZ places, spend all my money on these experiences things. Another thing that I'm going to work on doing is pre-deciding a few things. I'm terrible with decision making, especially on the spot. I I'm really bad about it. I second guess everything, and I am overwhelmed by even two choices. So pre-deciding a few easy things. If you already have the snack drawer filled and the kids are allowed to go get snacks, I don't know, when the green light in their room is on, great. You already know which movies are going to be on repeat. That's totally fine. Figure out which days are always the best days for outings, great. Then you don't have to think so hard when you're mapping out the week. You know, I know museums are always quieter on Friday mornings. Okay, great. Go on Friday mornings. Then you learn that that's a crappy time to go. Okay, let's try Monday mornings instead. I don't know. It could be different in your town. I don't even know when it is in my town, but I have to look. The other thing I'm I'm planning to do for myself to make this summer easier is creating little anchors for myself during the day. I still have to work, like I imagine many of you do. And I thrive on routine, but I'm really trying to train my brain to think routine light. Maybe the anchor for you during the day is breakfast outside every day. Coffee outside every day. Maybe it's an afternoon quiet time. Now, my child is of the age that quiet time for him doesn't work. So we're pivoting. It's quiet time for mommy. I'm going to give myself the quiet time. That could work. Hopefully. If your kids are past nap age, you give yourself the quiet time instead of forcing it on them. Then you don't have to have the nap battle. Maybe it's a, okay, kids, I've given you your lunches, and now mommy's gonna take five minutes to go move the laundry out of the dryer. I'm gonna put my headphones in and I'm going to listen to my 90s rock playlist for that five minutes. Whatever. But that's my time, and no, you cannot bother me during that time. And you do that every day. Little anchors, little rhythms like that can really help build a little bit of routine for you, build a little bit of stability for you, and make it feel less like chaotic free-for-all time and more like livable season time. And maybe it can be something that you don't get to do during the school year, right? Like if you don't get to have your coffee outside every morning because it's too cold, well, then that feels like a treat. And then when you do it every day, it's anchoring its routine for you.

Closing

Caitlin 13:06

So if this summer already has you feeling kind of like me, where you're a little frazzled, you feel behind, feel a little bit less put together than normal. Same. I know I'm not doing anything wrong, and neither are you. I'm just trying to hold a lot of moving pieces together in a season that asks a lot of moms, of parents, and it doesn't really give anything back, right? You can't get that summer magic without all of the magic of mom. So for me, my goal this summer is not perfect summer, my goal is realistic summer, simple. Understanding that just sort of loosening the reins on what my son gets to do is already a big deal for him. Because what my son needs and what I know your kids need is a present mom, happy mom, who has enough in her to give them her best and maybe enjoy some watermelon on the porch. Next

What's soming next

Caitlin 14:36

time I'm gonna be talking about confidence. And that matters because this is summer body season, right? I want to talk about building and having confidence without that like cringy ick feeling as you try to build it. I think a lot of us are tired of vague advice about how to build confidence. And I'd like to work on myself a little bit and I'll share that with you. So, yeah, real talk, real advice for how to build and have confidence during the summer season. Subscribe now so you don't miss it. Love you mean it. See you soon. Bye.