Caitlin K: 0:56

It's Tuesday.

Jenny GK: 0:59

Yeah. Uh, and we are, are we in December? Is it Tuesday? December. Oh gosh. Okay. Well, we are really glad you're oh goodness. Sorry. We're so glad you're here. Today we are decoding the dress code as in what to wear to all of these holiday parties that may or may not be coming up for you. If you've got FOMO, you need this episode. If you have Jomo, you just put your sweatpants on and keep on trucking. There you go. Listen for the fun of it. There you go. But first, with me as always is Caitlin. The very definition of tropical black tie casual.

Caitlin K: 1:39

Uh, thanks. I can't wait to find out what that means in this episode. That's Jenny, my fantastically precious party elf. Love it. I made that one up myself. Oh, you did a great job.

Jenny GK: 1:53

Uh, thank you. Being a party elf. Mm-hmm. Um, kidnight just watched Polar Express last night. I forgot how creepy that movie is. It is the animation is creepy. Right. The animation is creepy.

Caitlin K: 2:07

Yeah.

Jenny GK: 2:07

It also always the kind of thing that are gonna haunt me in my dreams.

Caitlin K: 2:11

It has always freaked me out. Yeah. Did you see the meme where the little girl in that movie, that beautiful, precious little girl, uh, they put her next to Drake with his new hair style. Oh, I cackled when I saw that. He looks just like her. Why would he do that to his hair? That's funny. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, so I've got some shout-outs for today. I want to shove it. So there are, did you know? You knew, but listener, dear listener, that you don't just have to subscribe to our show on your favorite listening platform. You can also subscribe to our email list. And when you do that, I give you early access to episodes. As in, you get to listen because the rest of the world before the rest of the world, because I put it in a place where you get to see it. So you can subscribe to our email list so you never miss an episode at the link in our show notes, or you can just go to our website. There's a form on our homepage, and just let us know that you want to be a part of it, and I'll send you an email when it matters. I won't send you emails if it doesn't matter, right? Because who needs that? Right? So thanks to everyone who is subscribing. Our email list is growing and it's getting very exciting, and our website traffic is up because you guys are so amazing supporting our show. Thank you. Thanks.

Jenny GK: 3:36

Okay, now it's time for us to talk about holiday parties. Oh dear. Well, or parties in general, weddings. Okay. Anytime that you get an invitation with a dress code on it. Also, side note, I should say that when I asked Caitlin, hey, do you want to do a show on dress codes? She was like, and thought I was talking about school dress code. I was like, you tell me you're a teacher without telling me you're a teacher. And then what did I tell you after that? You can take the teacher out of the school, but you cannot take the school out of the teacher.

Caitlin K: 4:07

100%. And I have, I know that as a teacher, I was tasked with enforcing dress code. However, my opinion is that dress codes are inherently sexist and I don't like them. So I was like, can we please not do this episode?

Jenny GK: 4:22

Well, and this is why when I stepped into this role in administration, I changed the language and said, it's not a dress code, it's a uniform. And uni means one. There's one way to wear it. This is not about who can and who can't. This isn't about what we're choosing. It's this is the uniform and this is how you wear it. Yep. And it made it a whole lot easier.

Caitlin K: 4:41

Yeah.

Jenny GK: 4:43

Plus, like, if you get out of the car with this skirt that short, clearly your family's fine with it. So I'm not gonna spend a lot of energy on it.

Caitlin K: 4:49

Exactly. Like if your dad says it's okay, then why am I gonna make a mistake? It's not my job to dress you. Like, I dress myself and I make sure my kid has clothes.

Jenny GK: 5:00

And in the in the case of the boys, like if mom says it's okay for your underwear to stick out of your pants, I'm gonna be like, hey, I really don't want to see your boxers, and then I'm gonna leave it at that.

Speaker: 5:08

Right. Like the end. Anyway. You got out of the car like that.

Jenny GK: 5:11

It's fine. Right. Okay. Not our job. Anyway, so you get an invitation and it has a dress code on it. Today we're gonna kind of dissect each one of those and talk about what you can wear to an event based on the dress code. Okay. But before we do any of that, I want to say that this whole episode is moot. Because what you can really just do is talk to the host and say, I just want to check in on the dress code. I was thinking of wearing da-da-da-da. What are other people wearing? Oh. And if you're gonna go to more than one event in a day, if you are party hopping, just dress for the fancier one. Because you can always tell people, like, oh, I have another event after this. No, you can also just dress fancy and lie and say you have another event after this. That does two things. Number one, helps you uh with your dress code. Oh, yeah, I'm overdressed because I have something else. Um, and secondly, it gives you an out. Oh, I have to go, I have another event at nine o'clock. Sorry guys.

Caitlin K: 6:08

And you can Irish could buy that mess.

Jenny GK: 6:10

Yeah. Um, the event is me watching a movie on the couch, but hey, nobody knows. It's a fancy movie. Okay. So I tried to organize this in order of most casual to most fancy. Okay. Um, the information comes from two different websites. Um, one is an article called Decoding Invitation Dress Codes from the Huffington Post. And the other one is called Dress Codes from Casual to White Tie from Emily Post. So we're just Emily Post.

Speaker: 6:45

Uh-huh.

Jenny GK: 6:47

So casual is the first one. If you see the word casual, we are talking about informal, comfortable, yet clean and professional clothing. Okay. I made this mistake when I was young.

Caitlin K: 6:59

Wearing dirty clothes to people's parties?

Jenny GK: 7:01

No, someone told me this event is very casual. And so I came in what is college casual, jeans and a t-shirt, and realized, oh, that's not actually what casual means. And I felt very uncomfortable for the entirety of the event. If you are attending an event where someone says it is casual, you can, as a woman, wear something like a sundress or a skirt, um, nice jeans, or some kind of chino, khaki pants. And depending on the event and the location, you could get away with dressier shorts.

Speaker 3: 7:39

Okay.

Jenny GK: 7:40

Um, a solid color tee style shirt, a polo shirt, um a casual button-down blouse, those are all okay for casual.

Caitlin K: 7:50

What about like a nicer tank, like a tank top or something? If it's like nothing.

Jenny GK: 7:55

I think if um, and later on, I was I'm gonna say to hosts, like, hey, tell us where the event is and what's happening. If you're going to a backyard barbecue in the middle of August in Texas, a tank top would be appropriate. Um, however, if you are going to a casual wedding, I would say cover your shoulders.

Caitlin K: 8:15

Interesting.

Jenny GK: 8:16

Okay. Um, for men in a casual event, you're looking for again, chino, khaki kind of pants or um good-looking jeans. Okay, so these are not the jeans that you mowed the grass in this morning. Um, they should be clean, they should have no holes, um, maybe some structure. Okay. If the jeans are more than five years old, they probably shouldn't be going to a quote unquote casual event because they have lost some of their shape. Interesting. Okay. Um, now, if these are like your good jeans and they're five years old and they stay in the closet, whatever, whatever, that's fine. But you know what I'm saying. Like if these are your everyday jeans, they might not meet the need of this event. Um, depending on the climate and where the event is located, shorts could be okay. But again, these need to be a little bit dressier. Maybe they're ironed. Perhaps. Um you can wear again a solid color shirt, um, a polo, a T-style shirt and without a design. Um, but really what's best is a shirt with buttons and a collar. And for men, the shoe choice could be sandals, could be sneakers, could be loafers, depending on what kind of pant you're wearing. If you are wearing sandals and they happen to have flip and flop in the name, they should be leather or of a similar material. They should not be plastic. Just saying. Caitlin's dying over here.

Caitlin K: 10:01

I'm dying because I'm like picturing those like old navy flip-flops and for a dollar or whatever.

Jenny GK: 10:07

The 99 cent multicolored. We would buy them and then we would um tie strips of fabric to make them look like pom-poms on our feet. That was like a whole craft. It was a very popular thing in my school. And then that one of my well, that fabric would get all gross and dirty, so you could wear them like three times.

Caitlin K: 10:24

Yeah, I remember like some people buying those and having them at weddings, so like girls could dance without having to have hard, like awful shoes on.

Jenny GK: 10:33

I remember the first time I went to a wedding that had sandals in the bathroom. I was like, man, this is so fancy.

Caitlin K: 10:37

Yeah, this is really nice. Yeah. Meanwhile, they just spent like, you know, 15 bucks on some whatever. But yeah, okay, that's that all seems interesting. I'm surprised that a casual event requires a button-down shirt, but I guess a polo could be like that makes sense.

Jenny GK: 10:52

And again, gentlemen can totally get away with a solid color tee if it is well kept.

Caitlin K: 11:02

Yeah, I'm and I'm just thinking of what like guys, the the line between casual and not casual, like it's so easy for them to like quote, dress up for anything. Whereas women have like like the reason that there's 30 categories of dress code is because women have 30 categories of clothing, right? It's guys have like four. So for them, it's easy, just slap on a polo and some nice khaki shorts and you're good to go.

Jenny GK: 11:27

I'm thinking, whereas for if you have a plaid J. Crew uh button up and a pair of khakis, you fit into most of these categories.

Caitlin K: 11:34

Right. You can wear that to literally anything, and the only thing you need to add on is a blazer for a wedding. Like you're good. Like, whatever. Okay. Anyway, let's go on to the next one.

Jenny GK: 11:42

Okay, so the next one is dressy casual.

Caitlin K: 11:44

And this is where I lose my mind.

Jenny GK: 11:47

Okay, so this is like think about if you are wearing working uh work clothes to a networking event, you're meeting people for the first time, but you are not interviewing. Okay, okay. Um, this could also be what people would have called Sunday best. Oh. This is dress to impress. Okay. So um for women, a skirt or a dressy top, a dressy pants outfit, nice jeans and a cute top, right? That's everybody's favorite outfit. I'm gonna wear jeans and a cute top. Um, or a dress that um is not strapless or does not have spaghetti straps.

Caitlin K: 12:30

Could it have like thicker, like a thicker strip is probably okay? Yeah, all right.

Jenny GK: 12:33

Totally fine. Okay. For men. Like we said, just wear clothes. No, um some kind of uh Chino style pant. It should probably be ironed. And depending on the weather, either a dress shirt or a polo with the open collar, ties not necessary. Yeah, no, you can throw on a sport coat if the weather calls for it. Okay. All right. Next is business. Now, some people might call this business formal. This is different than business casual. You can think of business casual as dressy casual. Yes. Business is you are going to a grown-up job interview.

Caitlin K: 13:19

Okay.

Jenny GK: 13:20

You're wearing a suit.

Caitlin K: 13:22

Yes.

Jenny GK: 13:22

Okay. Women or men suit. Now, um, depending on the industry, some women interchangeable with a suit would be a structured dress. I like to think of what would a news anchor wear. Huh. Okay. So um that's to me when I'm defining business, like would I report at 5 p.m. on this? Okay. The next one is semi-formal or cocktail. These are the same thing, but they are um they're used interchangeably, but a lot of people don't know that they are the same thing. Okay. So um, if the event is after 6 p.m. And when I was growing up after five, we used to even call it like an after five dress, um, then you're gonna lean in the fancier category. But at a semi-formal or a cocktail event, you're doing a little black dress. Okay. This is a shorter cocktail dress. It could be a long skirt, but it should be of a fabric that's a little less formal. So if you're gonna wear a long satin skirt, you should probably wear a more casual top with it.

Caitlin K: 14:40

Like a sweater, a nice oversized sweater and a and a fancy, like a cute skirt like that is such a great look. I love that look, especially for this time of year. Yeah. It's great.

Jenny GK: 14:49

You can also wear like dressy separates, um, a pants, uh, really cool jumpsuit would be cool. Yeah, but for the most part, if you see semi-formal, pull out the cocktail dress. Yeah. If you've got an LBD that you love, this is the time to put it to use.

Caitlin K: 15:04

Well, and I'm just thinking, like, if I'm trying for myself, if I'm trying to differentiate between semi-formal and cocktail, even though I don't need to, I'm almost thinking cocktail is happy hour sort of attire, whereas semi-formal is that after six that you're talking about. That's the way I am putting it together in my head.

Jenny GK: 15:20

Okay. In my case, there's sequins.

Caitlin K: 15:24

Yes, yes, there are.

Jenny GK: 15:26

But also, there might be sequence in a casual outfit. So I don't know if that's fair. Okay. For men, for a semi-formal or a cocktail event, you are wearing a full suit and tie. Okay. You could wear a vest if you wanted to. The suit should be dark. It could be charcoal, could be navy, could be black. A lot of times, men like you choose not to wear a black suit unless it's a business event or a funeral. So um go with a darker gray or a navy. Always looks good. You're gonna be wanting to wear uh uh dress shoes and socks that match your what pants.

Caitlin K: 16:09

Mmm, I was gonna say socks that match your personality.

Jenny GK: 16:13

Personality is great. That this is the perfect time to wear socks that match your personality.

Caitlin K: 16:17

Because this is where, like, so my dad dresses business formal for work every day, but his socks are always where he shows a little personality. No, that's amazing.

Jenny GK: 16:26

Yeah, yeah. Also, a fun tie would be okay for this. Depending on the event. Yeah, if you are attending as a plus one, let's not wear the fun tie.

Caitlin K: 16:35

No, you can save it for the socks. Yeah, it could be a good conversation.

Jenny GK: 16:39

But uh funny socks are always great. That that's a perfect time for this. Okay, exactly. So the next level is black tie optional. But when someone says black tie optional, they are hoping that you will sew up in a tux.

Caitlin K: 16:51

Right. And they're giving you black tie optional, as in like if you don't have a tuxedo, you don't have to go get a tuxedo, but I'm gonna wear a tuxedo. Right. Yeah. Okay, got it.

Jenny GK: 17:02

So you're looking for women, a floor-length evening gown or a very dressy cocktail dress. If you're gonna go little black dress, um, you want to make sure that you are in dressy shoes and a dressy handbag to go along with it. If you are choosing to do dressy separates or a jumpsuit, make sure that it is elevated to the level of cocktail dress or evening gown. Um, I had one that was fabulous. It was black and embroidered on the top and very, very dressy. Definitely to the level of an evening gown. But this is not the time for you to break out the denim jumpsuit. Nope. No. Okay. Um, for men, again, they are requesting that you wear a tuxedo. That's what black tie optional means. It says, like, hey, like Caitlin said, if you don't have one, you don't have to get one, but like we're kind of hoping you will. Yeah. If you decide not to go tux, we're looking for a dark suit and a white shirt, um, a very conservative, neutral tie, and then leather shoes and dark socks. So again, this is like I don't have a tux, but I'm dressing as closely to it as possible.

Caitlin K: 18:11

There you go. That's a great way to put it.

Jenny GK: 18:14

Okay. So the next one is a little ambiguous and can be used poorly. Uh-oh. So if you're a host, listen. Okay. The next one is holiday or festive. Ooh. This is ambiguous. Nobody knows what this means. No. If you adhere to the Emily Post rules about holiday or festive, it's a cocktail dress. Yeah. It's an it's a little black dress, it's a sport coat with maybe a fun festive tie, but it's leaning more into the semi-formal range. But you need to check with the host because they might be thinking it's ugly sweater. Gosh.

unknown: 19:01

Okay.

Jenny GK: 19:03

So when someone puts a festive or holiday as the dress and they don't use another modifier like holiday casual. Holiday sweater. Yes. Or funny festive. Like you need to check with the host. It's totally fine. Because they might be thinking New Year's Eve Gala and you show up in uh Rudolph that lights up.

Caitlin K: 19:33

Oh, I'm dying of embarrassment in this hypothetical situation. Oi, okay. All right.

Jenny GK: 19:39

So the next one is black tie. This is more formal than business. It is the most common formal dress code for events like weddings, prompts. Is it really the theme of it? Okay. It is the most common because it is easily defined. That makes sense. Men are wearing a tux. Yes. They are wearing a white shirt and there is a black bow tie. If you have a bow tie that fits the theme of the event and it goes with your personality, much like the socks, you can get away with a not black bow tie in this situation. Like a Rudolph one. Right. For women, you're wearing a floor-length gown or a cocktail dress that is the dressiest one you own. Yeah.

Caitlin K: 20:26

Okay.

Jenny GK: 20:27

Okay. Really, most of the time, when someone sets black tie as a formal event, they are expecting women to wear dresses that go to the floor.

Caitlin K: 20:38

Okay. Good to know.

Jenny GK: 20:40

Yeah. Um, you do not need to wear gloves to a black tie event. Ew. And if you happen to be at a black tie event in the tropics or on a cruise, you can get away with. With a white jacket instead of a black one. For men, right? Or no? For women. For men. For men. Let me tell you this. This is my own personal opinion about white jacket talks. You look like a catering waiter.

Caitlin K: 21:09

It also like it feels a little like wannabe Dean Martin. Right? Like, okay, rat pack, calm down. You'll never be as cool as Sammy Davis. So just like chilling. Right, right. Put on your blackjack. Put on your blackjack. Now, it now, if that's your thing, okay, great. But like it does it, it does, you know, feel like maybe you might match the catering staff. So just be mindful of that. Also, if you're having a black tie event in the tropics, go away. Come on. Go away. Sorry. That's just me being petty, but whatever.

Jenny GK: 21:45

No. But uh, and again, like some people, they might look great in a white jacket, right? Like you got this whole James, uh, no, um, yeah, James Bond vibe, like whatever. That's fine. That's your thing.

Speaker 3: 21:55

Yeah, sure.

Jenny GK: 21:55

Uh, it is not mine. I just feel like white jacket is just boat. That's that's me being judgy. It's totally fine. Okay. So the most dressy, the most formal is white tie.

Caitlin K: 22:12

That's a side.

Jenny GK: 22:13

Also called full evening dress.

Caitlin K: 22:16

Okay. All right. Yeah, then that then yeah, I've heard of it.

Jenny GK: 22:19

My fair lady.

Caitlin K: 22:22

Yes. Tiara gloves. Yes. The rain in Maine. Got it.

Jenny GK: 22:27

Yes. The idea here is the guests at this event might be royal, but they're definitely high caliber. They're getting a high honor. It is hoity toity. Okay. Okay. White tie means you are wearing a tux. Or you are wearing a floor-length evening gown. There is no other option. Okay. You might even be wearing a tux with tails if you follow the dress code properly.

Caitlin K: 23:04

Ooh, wow. Okay. No Texas tuxes either.

Jenny GK: 23:07

No.

Caitlin K: 23:09

Do you know what Texas Tux is, folks? If you don't know, it's it's uh it's tails and jeans.

Jenny GK: 23:14

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. No white tie says you're wearing a white bow tie and a white vest, and you're wearing gloves, men. Ooh. Yeah. And if you happen to be royal or like have a sash, put it on. Right? Like, uh. If you happen to be royal girl, and you're listening to our show. Yeah. Wow. Um, so women also optional, long upper length gloves.

Caitlin K: 23:44

Okay.

Jenny GK: 23:44

And this is where you take out the ground jewels. Don't wear a plastic tiara. Jenny, sorry. I mean, no, you have to tell me this, right? But um, costume jewelry that is demure. Very mindful. Mindful, right. Yes, is okay. Okay. But um full evening dress, white tie, like you know when you're going to this event that you're going to see someone fabulous.

Caitlin K: 24:16

Yes. That'd be amazing.

Jenny GK: 24:19

Yeah. Okay.

Caitlin K: 24:20

Okay, so what if you're the one hosting this event and you want to make sure that you're not being ambiguous? Because this is like my this is where I would go wrong.

Jenny GK: 24:28

I like want to fix these things. Okay. Because we should not have to be defining, the host should be doing that for you. That's very true. So don't be cute with backyard formal or Parisian semi-casual or tropical black tie casual.

Caitlin K: 24:46

Per okay, backyard formal means nothing.

Jenny GK: 24:49

Right.

Caitlin K: 24:50

Because I am a hot mess in my backyard. Right. So no literally nothing.

Jenny GK: 24:55

Provide examples if you have a specific theme. Many years ago, John and I went to an event that was Apre-Ski formal. But the event in the invitation had pictures of outfits. And it was, it was like you're putting on your cocktail dress and ski goggles, or you're wearing or you're wearing something with sequins and a puffer vest. Like it was a themed event, and they gave photographic examples of what to wear.

Caitlin K: 25:28

Okay, that's fine. I otherwise it's too cutesy for me. Like, I just don't understand. But also, you could, I think it might be nice to just say what you're wearing in the event. Like, I'm wearing my ugly Christmas sweater, bring yours too. I mean something like that that would let people know kind of what you're going for here.

Jenny GK: 25:44

The other thing that you can do is give some specifics about the event that helps people decide. So if you're having a semi-formal event and it's outside, state that. Semi-formal garden party. Because that means that instead of me wearing a strapless cocktail dress, I'm gonna put on something and a sweater because I'm gonna be outside.

Caitlin K: 26:06

Yeah, like my yeah, my T-length dress and my sweater that will go with it. Okay, I gotcha. Okay.

Jenny GK: 26:12

Use in uh use language in your invitation that reflects the formality of the event. Okay? Okay. Join us for a family barbecue versus the honor of your presence is requested.

Caitlin K: 26:25

Oh, yeah, that's awful.

Jenny GK: 26:27

Okay. Let's bring in the new year together versus please join us as we elegantly ring in the new year.

Caitlin K: 26:35

Elegantly was is my key there. I know that I need to dress a little bit more normally than or formally than I would. Yeah.

Jenny GK: 26:40

Let's ring in the new year together. I'm coming in my sweatpants. No, not really. But like I know that this is a new one. I'm coming in really casual. Yeah, exactly. Because I have to stand into my jeans and a sweater. Exactly. But please join us as we elegantly ring in the new year. Like, okay, uh I'll put on heels. That's fine.

Caitlin K: 26:57

Sure.

Jenny GK: 26:57

Yeah. So the deal is all of this was a waste of your time. Because really, what you need to do when you have a question about the dress code is take that social risk and ask the host. And if you know someone else going to the event who is tighter with the host than you are, make them ask. And say, hey, Caitlin, what are you wearing?

Caitlin K: 27:20

What's the goal? Yeah. What's the goal for the party? Are we supposed to? Yeah, exactly.

Jenny GK: 27:23

If it is an event such as a fundraiser that happens year after year, stalk that stuff. Get online and look and see what people wore last year. Go find pictures for sure. So anyway, you can do this. Have lots of fun at these parties. Or I'm sorry that you have to go to a party. Either way. But uh I love it. Let's take a break. Yeah.

Caitlin K: 27:49

For links to resources mentioned in this episode, head on over to ck and gkpodcast.com slash blog to find everything you need. And be sure to follow us on social media. Head over to your favorite social media network and find us at CKNGK Podcast. And now back to the show.

Jenny GK: 28:09

Okay, so besides holiday dress code, tropical black tie, formal, casual, ridiculous, uh business. What are your obsessions right now?

Caitlin K: 28:21

Uh my son is finally old enough to enjoy watching Harry Potter. So we have been watching it as a family, like in small chunks, right? Like it's evening time or whatever. Um, but we're watching, we're watching the Harry Potter movies together. Like at night, he's like, Can we watch it? Can we watch it? And he's getting really into it. Now, the hard part for me is that he wants to ask. Like, he's like me and he just needs to know what's gonna happen next. And I'm like, just watch and like but he so he has to ask over and over again. But it's really fun to have him be into it, and he knows he has the books. My my brother, um, my son's uncle has gotten him those really gorgeous, huge, illustrated uh versions of Harry Potter, and he like hasn't started reading them yet, but I think him being interested in the story is going to really help him uh be excited about the books too. So I'm pretty stoked. Like he's he's really happy. And the fun part actually is that Bryce, my husband, uh, if you're new to the show, that's my husband's name. Um, he has never seen really any of the movies. It's not really like the the kind of fantastical is really not his thing, like he just can't get into it. Um, but he started watching with the with us for the first one, and he's like, Okay, these are I get I get why people really like them. So that's been it's been really fun. So I wouldn't say it's my obsession, but it is really fun to sit together as a family and watch these movies. Have you guys been to the Harry Potter Forest? No, but that came up on my Instagram feed, okay, and now I want to take it.

Jenny GK: 30:01

Okay, yes. Um, it looks pretty legit. And it's at McKinney Ruffs, which was my first camp job.

Caitlin K: 30:10

Yeah, and isn't it like 45 minutes away from the center of town? Yeah, yeah. And there's plenty of sounds. Perfect. See, I'm gonna try and make it happen. That would be a really like fun thing to do, like a holiday thing to do. Right. You know what I mean? I just think it'd be great. So I'm gonna look into that for him.

Jenny GK: 30:27

Okay, so a couple weeks ago, um, I was really into this book, Disappearing Spoon, and I'm still on a science kick. So I am watching every video by Learning Curve on YouTube. They're at Learning Curve Science, and um they like break down plank everything. What is plank time, what is plank distance, what is plank mass, and I'm watching it, and my husband is making fun of me the entire time.

Caitlin K: 30:51

I don't know what plank means in that context.

Jenny GK: 30:53

Okay, so it's like a scientist that named the smallest thing, and so the smallest distance is a plank distance, the smallest unit of time is the time that it takes light to travel that distance, and it's a plank time, and so everything is measured. The smallest unit that we have is plank. Now, I'm saying this, and I'm sure there's a physicist out there, probably not listening to me, that's like, no, it's not the smallest, I'm sure there's something else. Okay, yeah. From what I know from videos, yeah, and again, you know, I'm like, I love extreme math, like big numbers, small numbers.

Speaker: 31:32

This is great. Extreme math.

Caitlin K: 31:36

Okay, I didn't realize how stupid it's if we were naming the episodes off of dumb things we say, this episode would be called extreme math.

Jenny GK: 31:46

What okay, okay, okay. I I I enjoy learning about very large numbers and very small ones and extreme math. Such a nerd. Okay, well, speaking of nerds, let me give you my gem. Okay. Um, my kid, like really doesn't understand what we do at all, but he knows that we're nerdy. So he recently had a fever, and we went and got some pediolite freezer pops. Yeah, those are the jam. Right? They're great.

Caitlin K: 32:21

If you're not on board with those, you should always have them in your freezer.

Jenny GK: 32:25

You can and you can make them, you could take pediolite and just put it in a popsicle mold. But um, we didn't have any, so we picked up some more. And John is giving him one and says, Oh, kid, this is made by the company I used to work for, which is Abbott, a medical device company.

Caitlin K: 32:45

A medical device company.

Jenny GK: 32:47

They make pediolite, they make infamil, they make the COVID tests, the Binax now.

Caitlin K: 32:53

Yeah, they make all kinds, yeah, they make all kinds of things.

Jenny GK: 32:56

Now, John didn't work for that side of it, he worked for the neurological side where they do brain and uh spine stimulation, but still, same company. They make medical things. Right. And Kit, really not understanding what we do for a living at all, especially. I mean, I guess he gets like, I work at a school, but because he can, you know, reason.

Caitlin K: 33:17

Explainable.

Jenny GK: 33:18

But for John, he just knows he's like some kind of math nerd, like he doesn't really know what he does. And so he says, Oh, Kit, these are made by a company I used to work for. And Kit goes, Chase Bank?

Caitlin K: 33:32

I'm getting like, what is Chandler Bing's job vibes from this?

Speaker: 33:36

Right, like John has never worked for Chase Bank. Now not only is it like wrong, but it's like really wrong. Right.

Jenny GK: 33:43

Like he's never these are popsicles for sick kids. You think Chase Bank makes these?

Caitlin K: 33:49

Baby boy. I love him so much. He's the sweetest. He's so cute and so funny. I love little kids. No, honey. No. Well, we're we're we have a similar kind of gym. Where my son said something that was kind of well-meaning. It was actually very well-meaning. So here's what happened. Um, we're we're in the throes of homework frustrations at our house. Uh, we work on math homework during the week. His teachers bless them, assign the homework on Fridays, and it's not due till the following Monday. So that means if you want to work on it over the weekend, you can. Or you can just work on it during the week and then you turn it in the following Monday. So, not a big deal. You get a lot of time to work on this. Um, so we choose to do like he's in third grade, no more than 30 minutes of homework a night. And that's my general rule for any grade level is 10 minutes of homework a night by a grade level. So if they're sixth graders, they should have 60 minutes of homework a night. And if it takes longer than that, then you need to have a conversation. Anyway, um at one point, my son was feeling very frustrated with his math skills because he's the kind of person who he thinks about the answer in a kind of a roundabout way, but he also can't always put down on paper what he's doing. Right. Even though if you talk to him, it makes perfect sense what he's doing. Right. Like you, you're like, oh, I see you're just taking, instead of making it $3.99, you're adding all the three dollars together. Yes. And then you're adding all the 99 cents together, and then you're gonna put I I see everything, I see it all.

Jenny GK: 35:27

There's reason there. He's just having a hard time documenting it.

Caitlin K: 35:30

Exactly. And for that reason, he kind of sort of has this moment where he doesn't really feel very smart. And so we've had these conversations of like, it's not about being smart, like that you can't express this. It's you are you are a very bright kid who is very capable of learning. Your difficulty is staying calm when you feel frustrated, and then telling us what you're thinking so that we can put it on the paper. Right. That's where the issue is. And at one point, he said something that triggered my husband to say, like, you know, there are times where I don't feel very smart, it's just how I feel. Like, and I understand why you feel frustrated. And in response, Sam goes, Dad, I love you. And I think you're smarter than you actually are. And the intention was beautiful. It was the most well intentioned comment. It just didn't come out the way it needed to. And Bryce Brussels' heart, he's like, Thanks, buddy. I was like, just bless you. Like it was so sweet. He really was just trying to say, like, Danny, you're so smart. Like, I'm so proud of you. And it just came out.

Speaker: 36:46

And it's one of those moments where you're like actually biting your lip so that you don't laugh. Because that's not the response that's appropriate. But at the same time, I'm pretty sure, yeah.

Caitlin K: 36:56

I'm pretty sure what I actually did was I had my hand on Bryce's back and I just like kind of clenched my hand into his shirt. I was like, oh my god. Like, like just retra like pulled my claws in to look like talons, and I was like holding onto a shirt. Like, if I don't if I let go, I'm gonna laugh. I'm gonna laugh. Because it was just so it was such a beautiful moment. It just came out all wrong. So funny. Love it.

Speaker 3: 37:20

Oh man.

Caitlin K: 37:21

All right. Well, okay. When you're learning about extreme math and you need to know how to dress for an event, make your choices. And you're probably smarter than I think you are, too. Bye.