Caitlin: 0:28

guys guess what, but it is, it is. If you didn't listen to last week's episode, you should, because that's what makes that even funnier okay, um, it's a callback. It's a callback. Yes, it is.

Caitlin: 0:46

Uh, this episode is the last episode of season four what I know, I say that I say that as though I've been, you've done like half of this season with us, though you've been here for like true it's been.

Caitlin: 1:02

Yeah, I was looking at. You've done like 30 some episodes with us. Did you know that?

Ariella: 1:07

oh really, yeah, no, I'm serious, yeah it's, it's wild.

Caitlin: 1:10

You've done a lot, um yeah, so good for you. I'm I'm.

Caitlin: 1:18

169 episodes in nice yeah, I think you're like right around 40 or so.

Caitlin: 1:25

Given the other ones that you've done with us, you're pretty close, okay, yeah, nice, never mind, I need to give you all the links to stuff and it doesn doesn't matter. Not the point. We're not talking about that right now. We're all so glad you're here for our last episode of season four. This is how to be a grownup. This is the how to show for moms who get distracted when they're Googling how to stop procrastinating. Yay, I'm Caitlin. This is Ariella Monti. She's a novelist and a rainbow disco ball that hyperfixates flawlessly. Yes, I still like the pirate one, the swashbuckling pirate one is still my favorite.

Ariella: 2:02

I was trying to figure out how to put that into some of my marketing.

Caitlin: 2:06

Oh, we're going to do it, we're figuring it out.

Ariella: 2:09

Yeah, yeah.

Caitlin: 2:17

Last time we how do I? That was was ridiculous. It's right in front of me. Last time we talked about the shame and stigma of adhd and some ways, eight different ways. I just put up the number five on the screen but said eight, eight different ways to overcome shame and stigma behind adhd. Be sure to listen to that. If that applies to you, if you are one of those who has the ADHD shame no shame, it happens to all of us Go listen to it. But we're talking today about overcoming more of that and treating yourself well with self-care tips Wow, self-care tips, good Lord, specific to ADHDers.

Caitlin: 2:59

Are you following us on social yet? Are you? I bet you're not. If you are, you're cool, you're part of the Cool Kids Club. If you're not, you can be part of the cool kids club if you follow us. We are at ck and gk podcast on all the places I just don't care about twitter and at ariela underscore monty on threads, instagram, the tickety talk all the places. But let's keep going here. We're going to share the sources. The sources are, of course, attitude max, because that is the holy grail of ADHD information. There's a few different articles I pulled from there. There's also one from the ADHD Foundation, the ADHD Center, the Fancy Way to Spell Center, the British Way with the R-E instead of the E-R.

Caitlin: 3:48

Yep, oh yeah. Yeah, it's fancy. There's a few creators like ADHD Understood on Instagram, which is a great one. Adhd underscore understood how to ADHD on YouTube, which I really like. Another source was this podcast episode called ADHD and Self-Care on understoodorg. If you don't hang out on understoodorg, you should. It's a great website. I've heard about this book called Dirty Laundry by Richard Pink and Roxanne Emery, which is about ADHD-friendly relationships, and then an app that I recently learned about called Finch, this ADHD self-care friendly sort of app. So I'm going to dig into that and see if I like it, but I've heard about it. So if you're someone who has spinch, please DM us and let us know what I need to know and if I should take the time to tinker with it.

Caitlin: 4:43

Here's our disclaimer we are not doctors, nor are we mental health professionals. If you feel burned out or if you feel like you often need to activate your emergency response techniques, please seek out help from a licensed professional. Self-care is not a cure for like full-on breakdown and burnout, so just you know. Keep that in mind. Okay, so we're going to go back a little bit here 30 episodes and talk about what self-care is. Here's my definition that I've given many, many, many times. It is the things that you do for yourself to help you feel like yourself. The purpose is to be able to help you give your best to tasks and to other people. When it's needed, like when you have a huge work project or your kid's up sick all night, self-care is what helps you have the bandwidth to handle those things. Self-care is a habit. It's a daily practice that involves many different types of activities and strategies. It's not something you have to earn. You don't have to deserve self-care. It's health. So just keep that in mind.

Caitlin: 5:57

Adhd people, it's the traditional methods of self-care, like you know bubble baths and just relax, read a book, unwind. It doesn't work. We've talked about this before Mindfulness and meditation. For me, I cannot. My brain is just constantly going during those times and I have a very difficult time turning it off. I'll put fidgets in my hand, it doesn't matter. I really struggle with those things. So personally, I'm either vibrating at like a thousand percent or I'm crashing into a dopamine void and in a sit pit. So it is one or the other. It's very rarely any sort of combination. So today we're ditching scented candles and ohms for real ADHD friendly self-care and the kind that doesn't require you to sit still.

Caitlin: 6:49

If you can't do that, I personally am not an expert on why self-care matters for people with ADHD. We already know why it matters for everybody, but why, in particular, it matters for people with ADHD. So this is what happens to me when I neglect my self-care, and I imagine for you, ariella, it's fairly similar, but all of my symptoms get worse. All of my symptoms get worse, Every single symptom. My meds don't work as well because I'm just more easily irritated and overwhelmed. My anxiety increases, like I can't focus on anything. I am a complete basket case when I neglect my self-care, regardless of how medicated I am.

Caitlin: 7:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah definitely If you're a neurotypical person. A lack of self-care elevates all of those kinds of things normally right. But if you're neuro-spicy in any kind of way, it's just worse, like everything is amplified for you. So there's a few reasons why typical self-care doesn't work for people like us. One if it's boring, it's painful for us. Meditating for me is excruciating, not necessarily in a physically painful kind of way, but it's just like I can't take it. It's almost like a sensory, like my body tenses up and I'm all like shriveled up like a raisin. I can't handle it. Dirtling to me feels like homework. I want to like it, I really do, but it feels like yet another thing I have to do and I have to get done, and that's not what I need in those moments, right? So I struggle with that.

Ariella: 8:35

And see, and the funny thing is like, those two things work for me, but I had to figure out ways to make them work for me. Yeah, that's fair, you know, like it, like am I? I'm just, I'm not going to sit and I am a yoga teacher. We've been through this.

Caitlin: 8:57

I am a yoga teacher.

Ariella: 8:58

So, like I lead people through meditations, I lead people through Shavasana.

Caitlin: 9:02

Yeah.

Ariella: 9:03

Like, and I get it. But I have had to figure out how to make those things. I had to figure out the accommodations I needed to make those things work for me. Yes, because, yes, they can be really boring yes like there's a reason why I teach restorative yoga but I don't take restorative yeah, I was just gonna say that yeah, yeah, like I, I teach restorative yoga, I teach gentle yoga, but I don't take those classes right teaching it is more interesting, though, like it's for a brain like ours, it's more interesting, so I totally get it.

Ariella: 9:44

Absolutely, yeah, yeah, um but like other people are like, oh, like, like your self-care, like going for a walk, and I'm like walks are boring.

Caitlin: 9:56

Oh my God, Exactly, I keep it spicy.

Ariella: 10:04

I listen to lots of true crime. Oh man, Like going walking in my neighborhood, like even with the dog is like, I don't want to do it yeah.

Caitlin: 10:16

Yeah, I get it. Another reason that typical self-care doesn't work for us we forget. Yeah, out of sight, out of mind. Oh wait, I was supposed to stop and take a deep breath. What? Who does that? The way to fix that is to tie your self-care to existing habits you already have, and we'll get into more of that, but forgetting is a real thing. The other one is guilt, remember, I just said you don't have to earn self-care For some reason? I think in particular people with ADHD, because we've heard that stereotype of like we're just lazy, that when we do something that isn't going.

Caitlin: 11:02

We feel like we're just lazy, that when we do something that isn't going, we feel like we're being lazy, when really it's just you know when you're, when you're shooting on yourself, I should be doing this, I should be doing that. It turns into a shame spiral. So just a reminder that self-care isn't selfish, it's neurological maintenance. You don't yell at diabetics for needing insulin, so don't like. It's just maintenance, it's what you have to do. Don't yell at diabetics for needing insulin, so don't like. It's just maintenance, it's what you have to do. Don't do it to yourself. So I have five, six, number, a number, seven, a number of self-care hacks that work just for ADHD years, and there's like they sound like they're the neurotypical ones, but there's a little bit of a twist here. That's what makes it for ADHD. So one of them, the first one, is to establish routines. Adhd years hate routines, but ADHD years need routines.

Ariella: 11:54

They thrive on routines.

Caitlin: 11:56

I know I want someone else to design my entire routine for me, and then I'll be like, but why did you put this here? And I'll complain about it, and then I will completely thrive on it.

Ariella: 12:06

It's just how it works.

Caitlin: 12:07

It's just how it is. Creating a structured routine helps reduce overwhelm. Use schedules, use planners, use apps. Map out your day. Break up larger tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. Prioritize, including time for work, time for leisure, time for exercise and time for relaxation every day. Those don't have to be the same amount of time every day. Maybe one day it's 10 minutes for relaxation and the next day it's an hour. That's okay. Just make sure all four of those things show up in your day every day. So adjust as needed. Flexibility is fine. It's not only okay. It's not only fine, but it's also very important. So keep that in mind. But, yes, establish a routine for yourself, and it can also look different from day to day. Your weekday routine can be different from your weekend routine, but it needs to be a routine.

Ariella: 13:00

Right yeah.

Caitlin: 13:02

The next one, number two good movement, not movement, good movement. There's something specific about this. So daily physical activity releases excess energy and improves focus. Think, like you know, a tired dog is a good dog. Right, that's. I don't mean to compare you to a dog. You're not a dog, Although people love their dogs, but it's sort of that mentality. And exercise also releases dopamine and endorphins. Endorphins make you happy, Happy people just don't shoot their husbands.

Caitlin: 13:37

If you know, you know happy people just don't shoot their husbands. If you know, you know. So practice yoga, participate in a team or a solo sport, bounce on a yoga ball, stomp your feet, go for a walk. Stomping your feet does feel a little bit weird, it feels a little bit petulant.

Caitlin: 13:52

Understood, but like, sometimes even just that will help. Do silent disco. Put on your headphones one song with vibes, instant mood boost, right well, have you seen the the um? There's videos of this one couple that does like silent disco and at night they use that to clean. They clean their house up together like they'll both put on their headphones, while the kids are sleeping and then they like, sing, like quietly to themselves, and then they dance while they pick up all the toys. It's the cutest thing they're bonding.

Caitlin: 14:26

I know they're bonding, but also like you can tell it just feels good. Do something like that. Maybe exercise is not your favorite thing, or or maybe you love it, but you still feel an urge to move and so you need a calm movement. Calm movement is a thing you can doodle, you can color, you can knit, crochet, work on a puzzle, things like that that give you something to do with your hands but don't necessarily take you, you know, make you sweat. You know you don't have to go do something like that in order to move in a way that feels good. Yeah, sometimes it's just like having a fidget that can be a thing right now.

Caitlin: 15:11

Yeah, she's, she's been fidgety. Is it clay? What is it? Is it silly?

Ariella: 15:16

It's thinking putty, it's thinking putty, got it. Yeah, yeah, I've got several of them yeah, you are.

Caitlin: 15:23

You are good about the fidgets. I'm not so good at that. I need to be better. Number three, specific to adhd years prioritize your sleep. Okay, yeah, as I yawn um, aim for at least seven hours of quality sleep each night. The reason that you need it is because it makes your symptoms worse when you don't sleep. Sorry to tell you, but it really does For me. My meds don't help. Even like the stimulant med that I take. I'm still like yawning all day long. I'm still exhausted. It makes no difference, so just put that in your head. Calming bedtime routines I've heard limit late night scream time. However, I think it's recent research that's come out that says it's not the screen time necessarily. It's what you do with the screen adhd years.

Caitlin: 16:07

If you're, if you're one of those people who likes to peruse amazon late at night, you're anything that's going to trigger your dopamine response is going to keep you awake. So if you're just watching, like some sort of video that's calming to you like carpet cleaning videos or people cleaning each other's lawns that's not a big deal. You can watch those. If you're comfort watching Parks and Rec or the Office, that's fine, because you know how it's going to end and it's not going to trigger your dopamine response. You just need to think specifically about minimizing your dopamine rush so that you don't stay awake.

Caitlin: 16:43

Yeah that makes sense, that's what it is for ADHDers in particular.

Ariella: 16:48

I will add because of my own experience, if you are finding that you are still incredibly tired during the day, talk to your doctor about possibly having sleep apnea, because, yes, that was something that my behavioral health specialist when she was prescribing me medications. We've been talking about how I've been so, so tired for a very, very long time and we adjusted my medications and nothing was helping and finally she was like, maybe I'm sleep apnea and I took one of those home home sleep study things and it did come back with moderate sleep apnea. And next week I'm actually going for a couple of weeks from now, I'm actually going for next week, a couple weeks from now, I'm actually going for a sleep study to get more information. And the lack of sleep yeah, it makes it makes all of my symptoms worse, yeah, and a good night's sleep would be super it'd be super.

Caitlin: 17:58

The other piece of it is, for me it's not sleep apnea, but it is a hormone imbalance like I have I have a hashimoto's disease, which is a thyroid disease, and I've been taking thyroid medication and it's not doing it. So then they gave me another thyroid medication. It's T3 and T4. And the T3 is the one that actually helps with the energy and it's made a difference. It's not a big difference, but it's made a difference.

Ariella: 18:27

So that's something I think about too.

Caitlin: 18:33

Adhders tend to reach for sugar as a dopamine hit. So I'm going to tell you to be mindful about your nutrition. This is number four Regular, balanced meals that support physical and emotional well-being and they try to manage your impulsive snacking Plan ahead for when you feel like you want a snack Remember we talked about you can break up healthier snack foods into, like, pre-portioned things. That might help. I understand. For me, meal planning is excruciating. I hate it. But also, oh my gosh, how am I doing this thing with the bubbles? And I don't understand. But it does help me later on and then when I'm like, oh yeah, this was helpful and I get happy with myself, then it urges me to do it again. So that's something to think about.

Caitlin: 19:25

If you haven't gone back to listen to ADHD and Food Part 2, that was episode 165. Ariella took a deep dive into nutrition for ADHD brains, but just a very quick reminder here. Protein-rich foods are used by the body to make neurotransmitters, like the chemicals released by your brain cells, to communicate with each other. Neurotransmitters like dopamine are essential for maintaining attention and focus. So eating protein rich foods, putting a little bit of protein with each one of your snacks, apples and peanut butter right Like granola and yogurt, something like that to make sure that you get some protein is going to be really important for an ADHD brain, so I would consider that to be a form of self-care.

Caitlin: 20:04

Number five practice mindfulness and use sensory resets. Now, as I mentioned, this is so stinking hard for me I cannot even. However, mindfulness, meditation or deep breathing exercises can reduce your stress and improve your emotional regulation. That's why it matters for you. It's not just, it's not so much stress as it is as emotional regulation. Piece episode 145, literally 30 or 24 episodes ago on how to practice mindfulness. So please go back and listen to that for some of her best two-minute mindfulness tricks. But just regularly check in with yourself about what self-care strategies are working for you and adjust your approach as you need it.

Caitlin: 20:52

If you're a journaler, journaling can help. There are lots of apps to help you journal or document your feelings. One that I use is called Dalio and you can just put in like a little happy face, happy, sad, meh, whatever, customize the moods and then, if you have an idea of what triggered it, make a note of that in the app. That's fine. You can also use the health app on Apple devices to monitor how you're feeling. It has a mood tracker for you. It even has a one-minute mindfulness, deep breathing session that you can do.

Caitlin: 21:28

Mindfulness also doesn't have to be like taking a minute to pause. It can also just be like a moment of reflecting on what's actually happening around you. It can be the whole, you know. Sorry, I was focusing on five things. I can see, four things I can hear. Those sorts of things are mindfulness, taking a moment to go. I feel happy right here in this moment because XYZ is happening. That's mindfulness. It's just being aware of what is going on in your head and what's going on around you.

Caitlin: 21:56

If you're far past mindfulness and you're getting close to overwhelm those sensory resets we've talked about in previous episodes, it would be helpful. So sour candy to shock your brain out of a spiral crunchy or chewy food can help. Putting an ice pack on the back of your neck or on your wrists to cool your body down, smelling something strong like some essential oil. Just go open up the bottle and take a little whiff and get a strong whiff of that. It'll calm you down a little bit. Plus, you're taking a deep breath, which is always a good thing, and you know when all else fails, a weighted blanket and some trashy TV. With some deep pressure and calm can make a big difference in how you're feeling. Okay, the weighted blanket is a big deal for that sensory piece. I love my weighted blanket. Okay, the weighted blanket is a big deal for that sensory piece. I love my weighted blanket, it's the best I have not.

Ariella: 22:45

I don't think the weighted blanket is for me. I have tried and I think it has the opposite. It has like the Claustrophobic effect. Yeah, it has a claustrophobic effect.

Caitlin: 22:58

But when I can't sleep, the weighted blanket is clutch. It really helps a lot. I use it for naps, in particular when I'm feeling like I really need to sleep. Yeah, number six foster supportive relationships. That is hardcore self-care for ADHDers. The ADHD urge to mask and people please is real. Oh, I still find myself doing it. So spend time with people who understand and respect you. Set your healthy boundaries, which we've talked about in previous episodes, and seek out supportive groups and therapy. It's a good thing, yeah Right, and a therapist can be there to support you with systems that might help your ADHD, like symptoms in general, but also kind of be that objective third party to say like, hey, did you realize that you're doing X, y, z? And that's a very people-pleasing behavior and it's manipulative what this person is doing, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it means that you're listening to someone who's not you know your mom, and it means that you're listening to someone who's not. You know your mom, right.

Ariella: 24:00

My mom's usually right about stuff like that.

Caitlin: 24:02

But still, sometimes you need to hear it from someone else who's not your mom, right, right. The last one is to work towards a healthier mindset. Now, that sounds really condescending Just be better.

Ariella: 24:17

Gosh, just try harder.

Caitlin: 24:20

Just try harder, harder. You're so lazy, no, um, that's not what I mean. What I mean is there's a few things here that go into working towards a healthier mindset, and so I'm going to list off like five different things here that all go towards this. One is try to remember what it feels like to be labeled. When you give labels to yourself or others, you ignore individual complexities and overlook people's possibility for change and growth. So challenging these distorsions is important.

Caitlin: 24:50

Remembering that life isn't black and white, remembering to think in shades of gray that's a big deal, in particular, adhd. People have a very real sense of justice, fairness, and we tend to see things like this is right, this is wrong and there is very little gray area, even though two things can be true at the same time and we don't want people viewing that or taking that stance with us. Right Like I can be both lazy and very productive. Those two things can exist for me at once. So I don't want us to get trapped in that mindset about other people. So keeping that it also when you think that way about other people, it kind of um stews the negativity in your own head and makes you angry. And then you're living in that place and that's not healthy for you.

Caitlin: 25:35

Um, stop shoulding all over yourself. The word should is. It should be a bad word for people with adhd. Switch the word should to wish or prefer. Right, not, I should do this, but I wish I had done that is. Is doesn't sound great, but it's better than I should have, because should comes with a degree of shame, right, right.

Ariella: 25:58

Right, yeah, yeah.

Caitlin: 25:59

Yeah, I would prefer to X Y Z instead of I should. X Y Z. Prefer. Has less shame. The word should has shame attached to it, so we're going to get rid of that word.

Caitlin: 26:15

All or nothing thinking. As I mentioned before, adhders tend to think in shades of black and white rather than shades of gray. So when you say things to yourself like I'm a bad parent or today was terrible, you're making issues worse than what they actually might be. Maybe the last 30 minutes of your day were terrible for sure, that's totally fine, but the whole day was not terrible. It got cracked on by the last 30 minutes, but the whole day wasn't bad. So keeping that in your head is going to be really important. So you might be someone who filters. You pay far too much attention to the negative stuff and you ignore the positive or the neutral things. Lots of us do that, yeah. So here I'm going to ask that you commit to adding one element of joy to your day every day. Schedule it, make it a part of your routine. It could be as simple as a popsicle.

Caitlin: 27:05

That's one of mine. I love the outshine pops with the lime, strawberry and raspberry popsicles in them.

Caitlin: 27:13

The outshine lime popsicle is one of my favorite things and sometimes I just want a popsicle and that's the one I want and it brings me joy and it doesn't last very long, but I love it and that can be your element of joy. And remember to give yourself grace. Be kind to yourself if you're not living up to your own standards. What was that line? It's like? Maybe you feel like you're not living up to your own standards because what was that line it's like? Maybe you feel like you're not living up to your own standards because you keep raising the bar. Something to think about.

Caitlin: 27:45

You can say to yourself I'm doing my best and everyone makes mistakes. You want people to think that about you? You have to think that about yourself.

Ariella: 27:54

Right.

Caitlin: 27:56

And if you're struggling to find it possible to do any of these things, that is a sign to me that you need to seek very real professional help Therapy, medication, support groups, self-care complements these things, but it does not replace professional treatment, Right? So so these steps are for people who are either already in professional treatment or who can find it within themselves to do these things. If you can't do any of these things, you are beyond it and you need to go talk to someone and maybe go to someone quickly. So those are the research-backed ones that are for ADHD, and you probably have seen that trend on social where it's like give me your most unhinged whatevers. Right? I have several little self-care things that I do for myself. I wouldn't call them unhinged, but they are a little unconventional. Hey y'all. Pov you find a diary exposing forbidden magic and the hot museum caretaker's life depends on you burning it.

Caitlin: 29:10

Roots Ink. The debut novel by Ariella Monti is the fantasy romance for rebels. Use promo code CKANDGK to get 20% off your copy at AriellaMonticom. Again, that's all caps. C-k-a-n-d-g-k for 20% off on AriellaMontecom. Get your copy for 20% off today. Okay, we're back. We're going to share some of our favorite unhinged, unconventional, unconventional adhd self care hacks. Uh, so here are ours. I lean into hyper focus whenever I can. I understand that you can't control your hyper focus, but when you have the time to lean into it, do it. It feels so good to lean into a hyper focusfocus session and then come out of it on your own and you're like that is real self-care for an ADHDer.

Ariella: 30:12

Yep.

Caitlin: 30:15

I also trick myself into showering when I don't want to by putting on a face mask. It's a sensory thing. I really just like washing my face in the sink Because the water will drip down my arm and I just hate. I hate that feeling. So I have these like silicone things that I can put on my wrist, which I'm happy to put on my product page if anyone wants to see them, if they have that issue. But mostly I just want to get in the shower, just wash it off, because I don't. You know what I mean. So that's how I. That's another self-care way or thing that I do. I think all of us do this, but I always add a few done things to my to-do list to make myself feel better. Oh yeah, yeah absolutely.

Caitlin: 30:52

Yeah, I will get rid of clutter and put things to donate in a box. Does that box always make it to the facility right away? No, no, but it is out of my face and out of my space and I like that. It feels good. I adopted two tidy rules for my house. If it takes less than five minutes sometimes three minutes depending on how I'm feeling do it now, because it prevents overwhelm and makes me feel like less of a lazy POS. And the other one is don't put it down. Put it away. This prevents clutter, which prevents overwhelm, which leads to paralysis, which leads to me feeling like a lazy POS.

Ariella: 31:37

So don't put it down, put it away.

Caitlin: 31:39

And like I've been saying it out loud, where I'm like don't put it down, caitlin, put it away. And the other day I heard Sam go don't put it down, put it away.

Ariella: 31:47

And I was like oh, my God.

Caitlin: 31:49

That feels like self-care to me too, and sometimes I'll pair it with a reward. If I put away these three dishes, I can scroll for a few minutes, but then I have to set a timer, because otherwise I'll scroll for too long. But yeah, so just be mindful of that. But it does. Those are. Those are some of my self-care rules. Do you, do you have some?

Ariella: 32:07

I want to know, tell me so I think my favorite one was and I haven't done it in a while, but it was when I venmo'd you money to buy me stuff. Yes, for my, for my, treat yourself box yes, I had. I had the, I had the sticker chart and I don't know whatever, like, whatever I was working on with the sticker chart yeah the best.

Caitlin: 32:33

Oh yeah, it was the best um.

Ariella: 32:36

If you sign up for my newsletter, you can get a copy of it for yourself go do it. Her newsletter is great so, so, yeah, so, and then I don't remember, it was like if I did 10 of whatever it was, then I got to go into the, you know, into the, the treat yourself bin, and pull myself something out and, like the, the reason why it worked was because I didn't buy the stuff.

Caitlin: 33:03

Right, I got to choose it Right.

Ariella: 33:06

You bought it and shipped it to me and I got to, just like you know, dump it in there, and that is why it worked.

Caitlin: 33:15

That was super fun for me too, because I got the dopamine hit of buying stuff Right and I would like, I would like look for things that I thought you might like, um, and it was just like like one of my love languages is gift giving, so I was able to like go, oh my gosh, I wanted to give her this silly little sticker and I would just like put it all in a cart and and then just send it off to her. It was so. It was really fun. Yeah, that's a good unhinged one. I love that one.

Ariella: 33:44

Yeah, if that ever comes up again.

Caitlin: 33:45

If we ever see that post, you need to tag us in there, because that that's a fun one. Yeah, yeah, okay um, what else?

Ariella: 33:51

tetris is another one. So yeah, so there is. I don't know if we went over this at any point in a previous episode, but there is some clinical scientific evidence that shows playing Tetris after a traumatic event can help lessen the likelihood of PTSD. What Tetris? If you've experienced a traumatic event and, like I guess, within I don't know, I think it helps whenever, but, like, I think, if you play Tetris within a certain amount of time, like within 24 hours or something, it can help lessen the either symptoms of PTSD or the likelihood that you'll develop PTSD, because what it does is it takes, it's such an analytical game that it takes you out of your lizard brain, which is the one that's activated after a traumatic event, and puts you into something that is you know why cat, why cat?

Caitlin: 35:06

now, it's putting you into your prefrontal cortex like rational thinking brain.

Ariella: 35:14

Right, it's putting you into your rational thinking brain.

Caitlin: 35:18

Sorry the cat. This is life with pets. If you have pets, especially a cat cat, you understand.

Ariella: 35:23

Ariel's cat is choosing this moment to come and rub up against the microphone right exactly yeah um, yeah, so so doing that kind of just kind of like whenever not whenever, but doing it like when I'm feeling kind of activated or I'm feeling, or even when I'm kind of feeling, okay, like I will play tetris, I will the like the new tetris, like you can play it on the nintendo switch and oh, yeah, yeah, I got that yeah yeah, it's, it's very. The vibe is very different than the one we grew up with.

Ariella: 36:06

Oh, I'm sure, but I really, yeah, but I really like it. I'll play a few rounds of Tetris, not even necessarily the one you know around where it just like constantly gets like faster and faster.

Caitlin: 36:17

Like they have ones where you can just stay on level one for like 150 lines, you know there is a app that I just recently downloaded called tappy, and tappy has like kind of fidgety games on it for adhd years and one of them is tetris and you can play it and it's a little harder because you have to use your finger to drag right I don't love, but I did notice that I felt like very zen kind of after doing that that's a good point.

Ariella: 36:53

Yeah, okay, I had heard about it like on a tiktok and then my and then my therapist like confirmed, confirmed it wow um yeah, so an actual like mental health professional, like confirmed it.

Caitlin: 37:07

That's awesome.

Ariella: 37:10

So for for journaling prompts, what I'm finding has really helped for me, and I talked about this like as one of my hyper fixations lately. But I have a pack of last unicorn tarot cards. Yeah and yeah, and so what I'll do is I'll pull a card and I don't know anything really about tarot cards, but I'll pull a card and then look up the meaning and then use that as a journaling prompt or a writing prompt.

Ariella: 37:47

So, either like use it as a start, a jumping off point to like reflect on stuff, or I'll use it as something like more creative and um, and that makes you feel like write something I love it. That's great. Um, I was doing really well with that. That's one of the ones where we were when you were talking about like have a routine for it like yeah, yeah yeah, getting into a routine is something that I'm trying to do with it.

Ariella: 38:20

um so, especially out here in north Carolina, where it's been hot and wet and not in a fun way, um, like guys, she's a spicy writer.

Caitlin: 38:35

I know it's all good, Right.

Ariella: 38:37

Yeah, it happens. Um, I need to go outside for my mental health. I need to get out there, but there is it's so hot and there's so much sun around my house, or you know, when there is sun. It's been raining a lot. Um, I need to get outside, but I don't like sweating. No, I don't like when I shower and then go outside and sweat and then I feel like I gotta take another shower. Yeah, it's gross.

Caitlin: 39:12

Right so.

Ariella: 39:14

I do one of those things where it's like I hate showering at night, but I hate showering and getting sweaty. So which one do I hate more? The showering and getting sweaty? So which one do I hate more the showering and getting sweaty?

Ariella: 39:30

Right, so, I suck it up and I started showering at night. This way I can get myself outside, because then I don't feel like, oh, I can't go outside because I can't get gross, because I just showered and I don't want to shower again. Now it's like no, you haven't showered yet, so you can go outside, you can get gross because I just showered and I don't want to shower again. Now it's like no, you haven't showered yet, so you can go outside. You can get gross. You can water the plants or transplant something or do some rage, weeding, whatever, and then go take a shower and then that shower actually feels reasonably good. It feels really good.

Caitlin: 40:02

I am a big fan of the nighttime shower. I also, though, though, like I shower at night because it's austin and it's similar, and I'm usually covered in bug spray, and I don't want to bring that into my brain, um, and I also, like I said, I don't like washing my face in the sink, so I take a shower, and I used to when I was. I used to wash my feet before I went to bed, because I don't like dirty feet in my bed, but this is just more efficient if I just take a shower and like wash everything.

Ariella: 40:34

So that's why I shower at night.

Caitlin: 40:36

But also I end up going for a walk in the morning and then I shower in the morning because I don't like sitting in my sweaty clothes.

Ariella: 40:41

So I do both.

Caitlin: 40:43

I'm a big fan of the both in my sweaty clothes, so I do both. Yeah, I'm a big fan of the both.

Caitlin: 40:49

Um, but there is something about that nighttime shower that just feels better like that's the one where I really get clean, so that I can go to sleep clean and all that stuff. So, yeah, I, I get it. That is, I would agree that that's self-care. I am very curious what our listeners do for their self-care, their adhd self-care hacks. I want to hear them, please. Dms will share the best ones, because they're and probably steal it. Let's be clear. Um, so I'm gonna just put this out there as my bottom line for this episode.

Caitlin: 41:20

Um, forget the word should, shelf, shelf. Forget the word should, because self-care needs to work for you. Whatever it is for you is how it needs to be. Other people and they're like I take a bath every day. That's because it works for them. It doesn't have to work for you. Try one thing from today and if it flops, no problem, no guilt about it, just toss it out and try another one. Right, adhd? Life is never going to be about perfection, because no human is perfect and ADHDers will tell you that we might just be half a step further away from perfect, but it's about progress and maybe some sour candy and a little treat, so really, all you can do. Yeah, now, speaking of little treats. Next, next time, we're going to dive into adhd and money.

Ariella: 42:18

Yeah, which is a yikes yeah which is a yikes situation.

Caitlin: 42:26

Um, so subscribe now so you don't miss it. I feel like that's that's all I really have to say about this topic. It's just, guys, sometimes self-care is knowing when your brain is right about to just separate from reality yep, yep and roll with it. Yep, follow the dopamine follow the dopamine, and if the dopamine is telling you it's time to wrap, then that's what you have to do.

Caitlin: 43:00

There are some people I know who podcast a full day like. One of my favorite podcasts and my favorite humans in this whole wide world is gretchen schoesser, who's the host of ish that goes on in our heads and it's a very good mental health podcast and she's now an author and she's amazing and she does a wonderful advocacy work for the 988 hotline, which certain administration people are trying to get rid of, even though it supports people who are considering unaliving themselves and that's not okay. So anyway, she and her partner for the show podcast literally all day saturday, like a full eight hours of podcasting all day long, and they do it like once a month or something. Dude, my brain cannot, no, no no, that is a neurotypical thing right there.

Caitlin: 43:56

That is not a right no that is not an adhd person. You and I sit down for these sessions, we do a couple and then we both are like staring off into space.

Ariella: 44:09

We're both like yeah I mean I say this in like, in like, the most loving way possible, but like my day is shot yes, because I used up all my brain power on this and you guys and you miss over there I mean it like it fills it, like it fills my cup and it's amazing yes, but it's also right, but it does require, like it's like you've got the two cups and like it fills my serotonin cup but empties my dopamine cup, and like that's great Ish, but I don't usually plan to do stuff after recording.

Caitlin: 44:55

No, nothing that requires brain power. No no, that's why I had to like do all the episode stuff for the previous recordings before this Because it would have all been gone yeah okay, so go do something that fills one of those cups I don't care which one, it is the one that you feel, the one that you know, the one that you feel like filling. Go outside, be sweaty, play in the dirt, I think.

Ariella: 45:23

I think that's what I'm, this one. Well, now that I have like a whole envelope of milkweed seeds, all over the house I wanted to like I shook it.

Ariella: 45:36

I was like, yay, milkweed seeds. And I didn't realize that the envelope was open. It was just like you know. And, of course, like it wouldn't have been, it wouldn't have been an issue if I was outside and did the whole like oh yeah, you know, then I just would have been doing like nature a, a solid. But no, I brought it into the house so I could cold stratify them.

Caitlin: 46:01

I don't know what that means, guys. She told me that she was going to be late for our recording because she shook an envelope of milkweed seeds and they were all over the house Meanwhile. I was like shoving food into my face. I'm like no worries girl, I don't care.

Ariella: 46:16

I had to put down a slice of pizza. I was coming upstairs with my slice of pizza and I was like, oh, I should go grab those seeds, seeds. And then I had to put down the pizza and, while I'm picking them up, telling my dog to stay away from my pizza.

Caitlin: 46:32

I have a question why, did you need to bring the milkweed seeds up for a recording?

Ariella: 46:38

oh no, I wasn't gonna. I was just grabbing them. They were on my porch oh yeah, yeah, I was because my front door is right by the stairs. So when I was walking by the front door I was like, oh right, the seeds are out there.

Caitlin: 46:50

Got it. I thought you were going to grab them and bring them up with your pizza and do a recording session. I was like I don't understand. No, it was one of those like, oh, like might as well grab them now so they don't stay out there and then like, understand that kind of right you guys? Yeah, we're tired, we're gonna go. Yeah, so make better choices than us. Don't plant some weed? Don't shake it off a little?

Ariella: 47:18

seeds in the house. Don't. Don't just every envelope is open. Just treat every envelope with seeds in it as open.

Caitlin: 47:27

Love it. Great idea Love, you mean it. Bye y'all, okay, bye.