Caitlin Kindred: 0:29

Hello Hi.

Caitlin Kindred: 0:34

When I was younger I had a cousin who I was playing hide-and-seek with once and she goes.

Caitlin Kindred: 0:39

Hello.

Caitlin Kindred: 0:40

I'm in the closet and it was the cutest. I'll never forget it. So hello, welcome to how to Be a Grown-Up. This is the show that is all about how to be a grown-up, with hosts who sometimes learn to do things right before we teach them to you. So when I was a first-year teacher, third-year teacher, sometimes I was learning the content right before the kids showed up. So it happens, I'm Caitlin, and with me today, co-hosting for jenny as she recovers from her surgery, is ariela monti, the author of the fabulous novel roots in ink, and she is, and if you don't know her, the human equivalent of a perfectly toasted marshmallow oh, I like that just the best I like

Caitlin Kindred: 1:30

that Warm and toasty. Yeah, we are continuing our Spring Into Self-Care series again today. I wanted to kind of walk back not walk back, that's not the right term. I want to start by saying a lot of what we've been doing is kind of telling you about your own self-care habits that you can or you should be doing, and not necessarily validating the little things you already are doing that are self-care. So, in particular, I'm thinking about the things that don't fit that traditional mold of self-care. Right, yeah, you know which? Again, if you haven't listened to our episode on hobbies for self-care, that was a really good one. That's non, a non-traditional form of self-care. People don't necessarily think of that, um, so go listen to that one, cause that one was great, um, so they might not look like self-care to others, but they feel like it for you.

Caitlin Kindred: 2:27

They are very cup filling activities or rituals.

Ariella Monti: 2:35

And my hope is that, by sharing some of these things that have come to mind, you identify with them and you think like, oh yeah you know that is a form of self-care for me.

Ariella Monti: 2:45

You're right, I am doing that already. I'm not completely neglecting my self-care, completely neglecting my self-care. So shout out to Reddit for some of these, because these are brilliant and some of these are sourced from the ether myself probably Ariella at some point in time, when she told me what to do and I told her not to tell me what to do, and then did it anyway. So I want to start with the very, very basic things, and the reason I'm starting here is because we don't necessarily think of them as self-care, but they are, because they are a form of self-love and, in particular, these things might be especially difficult for people at certain seasons of your life. So, getting up out of bed self-care yeah. If you haven't been able to do that for a while maybe you're ill, maybe you had surgery, maybe you just can't. If you sat up today, that's huge. That's huge. You sat up in your bed instead of lay down. Give yourself credit for that, because you did something special for yourself Brushing your teeth and flossing. You should be flossing folks. Just saying we talked about this too.

Ariella Monti: 4:03

There was a whole episode on how to do this the right way Sometimes, and maybe I should link that in that episode. Anyway, sometimes, though, that's hard, yeah, like, oh, yeah, ugh Am bathing or taking a shower. Sometimes that's hard. The number of times I have been like I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to, but then I get in it and I'm like I'm never getting out. I'm never getting out. But for some people, just doing that is difficult, whether it's depression or you are physically unable to do it yourself. Those things deserve to be considered self-care. Going to sleep, especially if it's at a consistent time or you're super busy, you're pulling on all nighter and you're going you know what. I just can't anymore. I need to go to bed. That is self-care.

Caitlin Kindred: 4:53

That's something where I've been falling. It's been falling through the cracks the past two nights. I've tried to I set a new alarm oh, here you go, if you're having trouble getting to bed, set an alarm that says, hey, you go to bed.

Ariella Monti: 5:13

Yeah, but be nice to yourself in it, because I'm inclined to be like hey, you dummy, go to sleep, but then I just feel bad about myself. So don't do that. Just say hey go to bed.

Caitlin Kindred: 5:21

Yeah, go to bed, get ready for bed, and the past couple of nights that has been very helpful for getting me at least moving into my room.

Ariella Monti: 5:32

Yeah, exactly. Um, for some people, eating or eating healthfully, or stopping eating when you feel full all of those things I would consider. Consider self-care, taking your medications. This is new for me, in that I mean not pharmaceuticals in general, because, listen, I'm unhinged right but there are new ones now that I'm using that actually impact my physical health in addition to my mental health, and that is hard for me to admit that I need these other medications, and so I'm looking at taking them as, yes, you're taking your supplements that are supposed to be helpful for you, and also you're taking this other thing that will make you feel better.

Caitlin Kindred: 6:25

Right, yeah.

Ariella Monti: 6:27

Going outside to feel the sun on your skin.

Caitlin Kindred: 6:30

That's my favorite one.

Ariella Monti: 6:32

And it's so. It can be so like there are some days where I don't go outside. What, yeah? Why am I not going outside? I mean, today it's gloomy and rainy and I you know that's different, but it also means that I can, like, sit near a window and read a book. But if, if this is, you know, if the basics are difficult for you, please consider those few minutes of being outside to feel a sun on your skin, self-care If you did any of these today that you didn't do yesterday, that's a win and I'm proud of you for doing that. So here are some other things that you might already do or that you were like oh that's so cute, I want to do that. And they're I'm calling them pleasantries, pleasant things. Yeah, Some of these are things we've been talking about right Taking time for your hobbies, reading, crafting, gaming.

Ariella Monti: 7:26

Oh my gosh, I have to tell you this. This is I don't need I have to tell you this. I'm going to stand up for just a second. I have to tell you, you inspired me because you said it doesn't have to be perfect, you just have to do it when it came to your hobbies and this is not perfect at all, but look, I finished his little hat. Oh, it is so cute. So we've talked about my crocheted Snoopy. He now has the World War I flying ace hat and goggles and a scarf that I crocheted for him. It's crooked but it's done and it's mine, so the stitches are good. I just put the goggles on. Crooked but it's not perfect and that's okay because it's done and it's mine and I'm proud of that, so it's so cute.

Ariella Monti: 8:15

That was my. That was my little moment of self care for the week. I found a lot of enjoyment in that. So, doing things like that If you're someone who likes to play games whether board games or electronic video games, things like that gaming should count. Hiking, reading, all of these things that you find enjoyment in. On the side, that are not side hustle types of things right, Indulgences, you know, things like yummy snacks you don't always have in the house. That is not pop chips. Pop chips are always in my house, Taking yourself to lunch with just a book for company.

Ariella Monti: 8:55

One of my friends who I work with we were in London together earlier this year and she just was like I'm on a date and I was like I'm what? Like I don't tell me you're, you're married and your husband lives in Copenhagen, she's like no, I'm on a date with myself, I'll be there in a little bit and I was like, oh, how sweet is that. Like what a nice thing to do A relaxing bath or a spa day, or just going and getting a massage or, in my case, going to the chiropractor and having her crack all the things and put them back where they belong. I would consider those to be pleasantries.

Ariella Monti: 9:33

One of my favorite things that I've seen are we're going to talk about some tiny ones here in a minute, but there is a trend online right now or maybe it's not a trend or it's just a tiny post that I keep seeing, but there's someone online who keeps posting all of these little whimsical things that they're seeing throughout the day, that people do. So I think the question is, like, what's a whimsical thing you do that just makes you happy? And some of these are, are, are those? And some of them just were so cute that I felt like I had to share. So, um, he's just made me smile that you might be doing self-care moments. Silk or satin jammies, what? How amazing Puppy videos, yes, yeah.

Ariella Monti: 10:17

I mean absolutely Right, like that's so sweet, just like a little moment of self-care. Do you watch puppy videos? Do they make you happy? Yes, I like to watch the ones of pandas where they're rolling around all over the ground and being stupid. Those are my favorite An everything shower Ladies. You know what I'm talking about. It's like do all the things.

Ariella Monti: 10:39

You wash your hair, you shave your legs, you exfol, you do all the things you wash your hair, you shave your legs, you exfoliate, you. Then you put on lotion afterwards and then you dry your hair like an everything get ready. Yep, I personally would put those in this other unpleasant category, because those may be crazy, but if I don't have to dry my hair afterwards I don't mind as much. Anyway, I thought this idea was brilliant. They look at Google Arts and Culture, which, if you didn't know, that is a thing. There's like all these different types of Google Google Scholar, google Books, google, all these different things but one of them is Arts and Culture, and you can explore museums and do deep dives into various artists and their work. That's amazing, isn't that? So if you're an art lover or you just want to like, couldn't, I can just see that being so special, just just doing it from your bed.

Caitlin Kindred: 11:31

Great.

Ariella Monti: 11:32

Great, yeah, what a great moment of taking care of yourself and doing something that interests you. Love that Um another tiny pleasant thing that is self-care iced coffee.

Ariella Monti: 11:37

Some of us are like, no, that's a necessity, but if it's a necessity for you, and then you. Another tiny pleasant thing that is self-care iced coffee. Some of us are like, no, that's a necessity, but if it's a necessity for you, and then you partake in it, then I would consider it part of your self-care, right, yeah, I agree. Or your beverage of choice, especially if that is in your favorite container. I have a container that I use for my self-coffee, or for my self-coffee, my coffee, and that's. I want my coffee in that. That's where it tastes the best In my brain.

Caitlin Kindred: 12:07

I've got my mug. That says motivated by spite and powered by spite.

Ariella Monti: 12:14

Powered by spite.

Caitlin Kindred: 12:15

Yeah, powered by spite and it's got a vulture on it. It's by F-ing Birds. I love that account. It's so good. I love that mug and that is what I drink my coffee in in the morning, because I am powered by spite.

Ariella Monti: 12:31

I mean and caffeine?

Caitlin Kindred: 12:33

Yeah, those two things for sure.

Ariella Monti: 12:35

Yeah, and ADHD medication, yep, because when I don't, I don't know if you know, do you? If you don't take your ADHD meds, are you tired? I even with, even with caffeine, I'm still really tired. I mean, which makes sense? It's a stimulant, but it's just I'm very tired. Anyway, uh, this happens rarely for me, but you mentioned it and it's absolutely true Sitting in the car, after you pull into the driveway or wherever you park your car, to finish a great song or a podcast or a chapter of an audiobook or whatever it is, or just sit there in silence, um, that's that is yes.

Caitlin Kindred: 13:16

That is my most regular form of self-care. I would say it feels good. Why?

Ariella Monti: 13:23

is it? Why does sitting in the car in those moments feel good? If it's traffic, like just no Right. If it's just like if I'm, you know, early to something and I just sit in the car for a few minutes, like that just feels good, it's a good transition, yeah, transition from like the like, the stress of driving.

Caitlin Kindred: 13:43

Because even if you like don't find driving stressful, your brain is doing so much when you're driving. You know to like keep from getting into a car accident, yeah.

Ariella Monti: 13:54

And.

Caitlin Kindred: 13:55

I think we're just so used to it that we don't even like realize how exhausting it probably is. Yeah, we don't even like realize how exhausting it probably is, yeah, and the just like sitting there is, it feels like a relief.

Ariella Monti: 14:12

I think I also like, if I'm in a place and this is probably really common any place that uses air conditioning a lot like Texas, but it'll be really cold in that space and then you get to your car and before you feel like it's an inferno, it feels like warm and happy. Yes, that that is a good, that's a moment of self-care for me. It's just like sitting sitting in that warmth to warm my body up before I need the air conditioning again.

Ariella Monti: 14:35

Just feels good yeah, yeah, uh, speaking of cars and quiet. If you experience silence in your life, parents, am I right? Any sort of silence? Consider that. Self-care, yes, and naps, whether they're yours, which I'm pushing for. In an ideal world, you get your own, but when your child is napping, I miss nap time. Me too. Now I take nap time.

Caitlin Kindred: 15:02

Me too.

Ariella Monti: 15:04

Now I take nap time, not always.

Caitlin Kindred: 15:06

I can't remember the last time I took a nap.

Ariella Monti: 15:08

Oh, it was like two weeks ago for me. I will. I've gotten to the point. I mean and this is part of why I'm taking medication but I've gotten to the point where I'm like it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon on a Sunday. I cannot stay awake.

Caitlin Kindred: 15:28

I'm going to go take a nap. Bye, and I and I will Irish goodbye on my family and go take a nap. But see, I can't, I can't nap Like I can't do short naps If I take a nap.

Ariella Monti: 15:37

I'm going to be out for like two, three hours. Oh see, mine's not two or three hours, but I can do like a good hour, hour and a half?

Caitlin Kindred: 15:48

No, I will. If I'm. If I take a nap, it's like the rest of the day is like gone, which is what keeps me generally keeps me from from purposely taking a nap. Like, if I like fall asleep on the couch or something, then then I'll probably never really fall asleep that deeply. But if I purposely take a nap, I gotta consider the day done.

Ariella Monti: 16:04

That's interesting. I have um. I use a headspace app, the headspace app and there's a doze soundtrack there that will play for an hour, and I've trained my body that I turn it on. My body relaxes, usually takes about 10-15 minutes or so to relax and then, when the, when the sound stops, usually is when my body will wake up, so I can. I can get in and out in about an hour, hour and 15 minutes. I'm not a 15 minute napper. Those people who can do that, I cannot do that. Bless you.

Caitlin Kindred: 16:35

It's amazing, I'm so jealous of those people.

Ariella Monti: 16:37

I would love to do it, but I just can't do it. Another tiny pleasantry that you should consider self-care your favorite meal, yeah, wherever it's from. If it's homemade, amazing. If it's from the fast food chain down the street, that's also amazing. If it's your favorite meal, that's self-care. Sometimes a cheesy gordita crunch from taco bell is self-care when I had no dollars in college and a two dollar taco bell meal was gourmet, oh man. Sometimes it just hits the spot right um hugs, guys. As cheesy as that sound, hugs are selfcare.

Caitlin Kindred: 17:21

I'm a great hugger, you are a great hugger. I love giving hugs. Yeah, it's because I'm a marshmallow that's called a callback.

Ariella Monti: 17:36

We're circling back to that joke.

Caitlin Kindred: 17:37

We're circling back to that.

Ariella Monti: 17:40

No, we don't use those terms. Circling back to that oh, no, we don't use those terms. I have to say also there are some unpleasant things that you might be doing. We've talked about a few of these before, but these are unpleasant things that I would also consider to be self-care and to clarify why they're unpleasant. These are things that we dislike, but they make future us feel better. Things that we dislike but they make future us feel better Like writing down all of my tasks for work the next day when I just want to be done with work, is something that makes morning Caitlin not hate evening Caitlin, so I would consider that to be self-care. Yeah, okay.

Ariella Monti: 18:18

Someone on Reddit volunteered this definition, which I really liked, which was real. Self-care is about creating space to function again. It's not about escaping your responsibilities. It's about making them less chaotic to carry. Oh yeah, I thought that was beautiful. So deep cleans in your house. I would consider that to be unpleasant, but it feels good when it's done and you can turn it to a pleasant thing if someone else does it for you. Yeah, oh, man, okay, Along with cleaning a kitchen reset If you're one of those people who's like you, can't stand coming into a dirty kitchen in the morning because it just feels like it's already awful in your house.

Caitlin Kindred: 19:06

You taking that time to do that at night is self-care washing dishes, counters, wiping down, etc I would even say something that I do when the dopamine hits is kind of pick up all like the little trashy bits that kind of get left around places, you know, like on counters and stuff. This happens kind of in in my bathroom, where I'll just start picking stuff up and either tossing it or putting it back where it belongs yeah, tidying, yeah. So it's not even like a clean, it's more just like a clearing.

Ariella Monti: 19:47

Yeah, it's a tidy, it's a, it's a, it's a space, not cluttered. Yeah, that feels good too. I would also say that this goes for other things that you clean. Um, my favorite unpleasant clean thing is when you change the bedding, because as much as I hate changing the bedding and doing the laundry that goes with the bedding. I love getting into a fresh bed at night and one of those whimsical things I saw was someone says when she does that, she puts on her silk jammies or her like fancy jammies and she calls it fancy sleep. Like, how cute is that? Right, that is fancy, fancy sleep, so sweet. Uh, other deep cleans this person was talking about when they deep clean their, their, their retainer. Oh, I'm so glad someone asked the question for me. But they were like excuse me, what does that look like? And the answer was like most of the time, you know, I brush it or I put it in. Some people put it in mouthwash or like Polydent or something or those tablets, but this is when they put it in their ultrasonic cleaner.

Caitlin Kindred: 21:03

Oh yeah, that makes sense.

Ariella Monti: 21:04

Yes, yeah, Deep cleaning your jewelry or getting it back from like when you take it to a jewelry shop and it's clean and it's all hot. I love that feeling where it's like it's warm.

Caitlin Kindred: 21:16

I have never cleaned my jewelry.

Ariella Monti: 21:19

Really. No, oh, it feels good. You can use toothpaste if it's not too abrasive.

Caitlin Kindred: 21:26

I think the last time I cleaned my jewelry, I think I cleaned my engagement ring Like almost 15, no like 12 years ago.

Ariella Monti: 21:37

You can take them to jewelry shops and if you I mean if you're nearby one and just say like how long would it take to clean it or how much would it cost, a lot of them will clean it for free.

Caitlin Kindred: 21:45

So a lot of my good jewelry is like packed away because I'm saving it for the impending apocalypse. Oh, and so I have stuff to trade.

Ariella Monti: 22:03

So I was prepared to like really lecture you on the self-care moment here and be like listen, don't, you can't take it with you, Just wear it Right. But I see why you're. I mean a lot of it is gold.

Caitlin Kindred: 22:17

And like I don't wear gold, like you know, I'm an. Italian girl from Long Island, like, of course, I have gold. Yeah, it would look good on you, but I don't actually. I don't actually look. I'm a cool toned person, yeah, so I look better in silver.

Ariella Monti: 22:32

You get tanned though, yeah, but Anyway, this is not relevant, yeah.

Caitlin Kindred: 22:38

But in any case.

Ariella Monti: 22:40

I was going to tell you to wear it.

Caitlin Kindred: 22:42

I don't wear it because it's all gold and I don't think I look good in it, so I'm just saving it.

Ariella Monti: 22:48

I just thought of a pleasant thing, and Jenny has said this before Use the stickers. Use the stickers. Yes, wear the jewelry, burn the candles that are nice, yes, stickers, use the stickers.

Caitlin Kindred: 23:02

Use the stickers. Yeah, use the stickers.

Ariella Monti: 23:05

Okay, other unpleasant. Back to the unpleasant things. Sorry. So, cleaning jewelry, cleaning grandma's silver I always hated doing that and then I learned you can use hot water and vinegar and a ball of foil and watch the tarnish just like come off of stuff, like it just literally melts away. And now I I like to clean. That's how I clean my jewelry, and I also will clean my grandmother's the spoons that she gave me, that I there is something really satisfying.

Caitlin Kindred: 23:32

I don't have any fancy silver like that, but my mom does and I remember being a kid like there is something really satisfying about, like watching the tarnish just disappear yeah, it feels good.

Ariella Monti: 23:46

Yeah, yeah, also use the china and use the silver. If someone has spoons, use the spoons for your tea. Use them for your cereal. It just feels good. Yeah, yeah, also use the china and use the silver. If someone has spoons, use the spoons for your tea. Use them for your cereal. It just feels good, fancy cereal.

Caitlin Kindred: 23:55

That's what we did, all of like the fancy china that we inherited Because we didn't ask for it for our wedding, because we inherited it. It was just sitting in our credenza, like for Christmas and Thanksgiving, and I was like screw this. We Christmas and Thanksgiving and I was like screw this we were using it every day.

Ariella Monti: 24:13

Yeah, so now my cats eat off of Makasa. Oh, get it. Fancy If you're someone who's worried about them getting messy we've talked about this before you could put like a plastic, like a clear plastic plate over it and then like if you have a if you have a knife, that's gonna you know it's gonna scratch it.

Ariella Monti: 24:25

You could do that anyway. But use, use the fancy things for a little tiny pleasant thing. My grandmother would be very proud of me for using the spoons the way I do. Um, doing a load of laundry is an unpleasant thing, but it feels even better if you do it all the way through, from start to finish. But if you just moved it from the washing machine to the dryer, congratulations. You don't have to wash again. Watch the first round. Yeah exactly.

Caitlin Kindred: 24:51

Yeah, that's so. I mean that right there.

Ariella Monti: 24:56

Meal prepping. Listen, I can confirm this sucks. When I was teaching, I meal prepped and it's it sucked because you're kind of confined to what you can and can't. Well, maybe I was because I can't cook, but I didn't like it. But can confirm it made my week easier because, seriously, tuesday morning Caitlin hated when there was no lunch pre-made.

Ariella Monti: 25:22

So there we go, um, along with that, doing the other things at night that need to be done for you to get out the door in the morning Making sure your keys are in the right place, you know, setting out your clothes if you're somebody who struggles with what to wear, filling your water bottle, so you're not like standing there going oh my gosh, I'm late but this water bottle takes forever to fill. Doing things like that that suck because all you want to do is just go to bed but you can't because you have to finish these things. That's self-care, because you're prioritizing yourself tomorrow and that's an okay thing to do. Uh, finally, making that stupid phone call you've been meaning to make booking the appointment, right, that is, oh my gosh, me too. And one of them is like a vet appointment. Like what Same? Like I love my animals and I have not made this appointment for like two years. I need to just get them to the vet, or sending the email that you really didn't want to send, or, you know, gathering all your tax documents and finally scanning them together. Ugh, all of that stuff, the things that you need a body double for yeah, that suck to do, but you'll get them done eventually. That that's what I mean.

Ariella Monti: 26:36

Um, exercise, listen, I'm reminded of the line from Ann Perkins where she's telling Chris Traeger you made me jog, and he's like jogging's fun, and she's like no, it's not, like nobody likes it, which you know, some people do, but for most of us that are probably listening to, this, exercise is a necessary evil. Yeah, especially cardio, which I hate. So there you go. That's why I liked the boxing workout, because it doesn't feel like a crappy cardio session, and this one crying A crappy cardio session and this one crying Listen, sometimes that ugly cry just feels so damn good.

Ariella Monti: 27:19

Right, and I'm not referring to like the kind of cry that's like the grief, devastation sort of cry.

Ariella Monti: 27:25

Right right right, I'm referring to the one where you just this is me watching the Thanksgiving day parade because it was on and you started to cry when Santa Claus was going by, and or just because you happened to see you know the Backstreet Boys lip syncing. Those things make me cry. Not going to lie, I cry all the time about stuff like that, and it just feels good when I don't stop it Like it, just I just let it come out because it's clearly something that I needed to do. Right, that is just a short list of things that you may or may not be doing in your life that you need to reframe as self-care, because if you're taking care of yourself in any way, if you're prioritizing your future self, that is self-care.

Caitlin Kindred: 28:09

Agreed.

Ariella Monti: 28:10

Great, glad you do, because you don't have a choice. This is my show. We'll be back. I'm going to leave that in.

Caitlin Kindred: 28:26

Yes, you should.

Ariella Monti: 28:29

For links to resources mentioned in this episode. Head on over to ckandgkpodcastcom slash blog to find everything you need, and be sure to follow us on social media. Head over to your favorite social media network and find us at CK and GK podcast. And now back to the show. Okay, we're back, folks, and I'm still laughing because I was a snot face to Ariella, and I don't care, she has to tolerate it. This is my platform. She's doing me a solid, but this is my platform. Anyway, I am not funny by myself. What are your obsessions, right?

Caitlin Kindred: 29:12

now. So my obsessions, going back to hobbies, are puzzles, yes, okay. So here's the thing. This was kind of unintentional. The kid was sick this week and so he wasn't in school and we were trying to find something to do and I was like, why don't we do a puzzle together? Nice, and he was into that and I found. So all the puzzles that we have are like a 250 piece, like a set of four 250 piece puzzles from like my parents or somebody for Christmas at like some I don't know, some year. So I, so I, they were still like all wrapped up and everything, like not in the gift wrapping but like whatever, but like not unsealed, I gotcha Right.

Caitlin Kindred: 30:13

Yeah, because I did not know until I opened them up that they are wooden puzzles. Oh, so, like the pieces are tiny and like I don't know why my parents got my son these, because these are very complicated puzzles.

Ariella Monti: 30:31

Maybe it's to keep him busy, maybe.

Caitlin Kindred: 30:33

Maybe it's to keep him busy, maybe. But that being said, I found myself, like over the two days that he was sick, because it's so like physically small, it's like the size of a piece of paper, and it comes with like this little like wooden frame thing for it, and so it was really easy to just like move.

Caitlin Kindred: 30:59

you know, it wasn't like this giant thing which is what I end up doing yeah, and so it made it really easy to like just spend five, ten minutes like adding a couple of pieces to it. I'm like man, like man. I need so many more of these. Yes.

Ariella Monti: 31:16

Do you remember, like two years ago you talked me out of buying a puzzle table? Yes, well, then I had gum surgery and I bought one anyway and it has like drawers and stuff and I I really I haven't used it in a while cause I haven't had time to do my puzzle, but I, I love that and I just like to have them out as like a thing to do. When I was teaching I had a table that was just for the puzzle and when kids were like wanting to talk to me or just needed a break, they would just come over and put a few pieces in. It was just for fun and it's a nice way to have a conversation while doing something that feels kind of mindless but also engaging enough that you're not bored with it.

Caitlin Kindred: 31:55

I, yeah, I really like them.

Ariella Monti: 31:56

I think they're fun.

Caitlin Kindred: 31:57

Yeah, yeah. So and I think the reason why I didn't do because when we had that conversation I ended up buying 8,000 piece puzzle at the science museum like three days later but and I never. And I but the problem is like I don't have a space where I it's too big and I don't have a space where I can just like leave it. But this little one it was like, yeah, you could there, it is small enough that you could just like leave it somewhere and like move it around when you need to. That.

Ariella Monti: 32:31

That's nice.

Caitlin Kindred: 32:32

Now I need another one.

Ariella Monti: 32:34

Yeah, yeah, maybe see if the library has one you can borrow. Before you need Fair and there is a service I'm sure you have to pay for it that you can borrow puzzles. That's neat. Yeah, like I forget what it is Like Rent the Runway but for puzzles I don't know what it's called, but because I talk about puzzles and because if I say the word puzzle, it's going to show up in my Instagram feed, I'm sure it'll show up yeah, um, my obsession right now is readers because, ladies and gentlemen, you turn 40 and, for some reason, you need readers.

Ariella Monti: 33:08

I don't know if you need them, I need them.

Ariella Monti: 33:11

Oh, I've needed them since I was like 20 something, so but I mean, I wear glasses, but I wear them for distance. This is new. I got them a while ago and then I'm trying to like, do the thing where I don't look, use them all the time in case I don't actually need them. Cause if you do use them before you're ready, you kind of train your eyes that you need them anyway. So I'm trying not to. But no, no, this is I. We're past that point now and it like I can see what's happening on the screen. But if I am working for a long period of time, I have to end up, I have to put them back on.

Caitlin Kindred: 33:45

Yeah, I've been using them for a really long time for, like, tension headaches and stuff, like because I've always worked on the computer. But I will say, the last time I went and got my eyes checked, like a month or so ago, I officially need them now, like, but I need a very low, low, like a prescription yes, what you said. And she says it's like, really they're. They're tough to kind of find you in places like Target and all that kind of stuff, and I didn't know that, like I've been using ones that are much more Well see how you do with the ones that are lower.

Ariella Monti: 34:21

I mean, I have the ones I have I ordered from the A to Z store and they're blue light blocking and they're kind of bifocal-ish. So, like you know, there's like like the magnifier at the bottom and then when I'm using my computer and it's further away, I can look up and have the blue light blocking, but I don't need the magnification for that.

Caitlin Kindred: 34:42

So anyway, I might need one for that.

Ariella Monti: 34:44

Yeah, I'll find it If you like. Aviators, I'm an aviator person, sure, so like I'm sure, so, so like I'm into that. Uh, I usually wear them while I'm recording, but I'm not today. Uh, that's my obsession, what about?

Caitlin Kindred: 34:57

gems do you have?

Ariella Monti: 34:58

it is toad flax season in my yard you are the biggest nature nerd, are you sure you're not like some kind of fairy like? Because?

Caitlin Kindred: 35:07

I am a garden fairy, you are a garden fairy yeah, I am a garden fairy, for sure. Yeah, it is, I guess, kind of like how in Texas y'all have, like bluebell season, bluebonnet, bluebonnet season. Sorry, I apologize to all of the Texans.

Ariella Monti: 35:24

All the Texans, that's like my whole audience.

Caitlin Kindred: 35:29

I apologize, bluebonnets. I think these, these flowers are actually in the same kind of family or something. It's blue toad flax and I had never seen it until I moved to North Carolina and moved into this house and it's just a wildflower that grows all over my yard in late May, late March, early April, and they are my favorite, so I'm happy that they are starting to bloom. That's so nice and so yeah, there's like a nice little like crop of them kind of coming up now, and so it makes me, that makes me happy.

Ariella Monti: 36:10

Sure, I can see. I mean I would say that's self carecare too right, it's like when you have getting like fresh cut flowers for yourself.

Caitlin Kindred: 36:18

Yeah, what I'll do is, right before we let the grass go as high as we kind of can, before it starts getting a little questionable out there, before it starts getting a little questionable out there, and right before we get it cut, I will go and like just grab a whole handful of them and bring them into the house and have them.

Ariella Monti: 36:40

Oh, that's so nice. Let's add it to the list of little tiny pleasantries. Mine's a little different. This time I have actually a very cool gem for you. Jenny and I are in Harness Magazine. Awesome, yeah, there's a whole. We did an interview with Harness Magazine and there's a whole. I just got the link like today, a little bit ago, before you and I started recording, so I've been saving. I've been sitting on this for a little bit, but you and I started recording, so I've been saving. I've been sitting on this for a little bit, but only for like a few minutes before. Um, and you're one of the first people to know and, um, this is cool, like we're. So harnessmagazinecom is where you go to find it and right now, if you I don't know how long it will be there because we're recording this on like a few weeks before you you know it's there, but I'll put it on the website and I'll post it and all that stuff. But anyway, right now it's like on the cover.

Caitlin Kindred: 37:41

That's so cool.

Ariella Monti: 37:43

Yeah, it's kind of wild, so I don't know. We'll see what happens, but it's pretty exciting and I think it'll be really fun to read and kind of get a sense of where this came from. And I don't think we've ever actually talked about where the idea for this show sort of came from. But if you want to know more about that, you can read it and it's fun, it's a nice story, that's amazing. I'm so happy for you too, thank you. So now tell your friends about me because you're on my show and I'm funny, gosh and unhinged. So go read that and I think it's time. I think we've both become a little unhinged. Speaking of unhinged people, I think you and I both need to go take care of ourselves.

Caitlin Kindred: 38:39

I'm going to go sit outside in the pollen, I guess.

Ariella Monti: 38:42

There you go. That sounds great. It's rainy here, but there's little flowers peeking over the fence, and so I might just go sit by where I can see them.

Caitlin Kindred: 38:49

Yeah, do that. Yeah, I won't go sit in the pollen. It's really bad. That sounds like the opposite of self-care.

Ariella Monti: 38:57

Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Well, along those lines, sitting in pollen is a bad choice, and Jenny would tell you not to make bad choices. She would say make good choices. And I'm going to say take care of yourself and find those little moments of things you do where you prioritize your needs and remember that they're self-care. You're nodding, which means that it's time for us to go. Bye.

Caitlin Kindred: 39:22

Bye.