Caitlin Kindred: 0:29

Hello friends, we're so glad you're here. Welcome to how to Be a Grown-Up. This is the show with hosts who are pretending we think we're regularly just trying to be an adult on a regular basis, but then we try to teach them to you. So obviously we're somewhat experts. I don't know, we'll see Today. Well, first of all, let me back that up, I'm Caitlin, CK.

Caitlin Kindred: 0:54

With me today is my friend, Debra Doliner, who is the Austin Head of Marketing and Growth for Tula Life Balanced. I'm so glad you're here today. We met a few years ago when our kids were in the same kindergarten class. She is the human embodiment of a perfectly balanced smoothie. She's just full of wisdom and energy and all kinds of let it get done vibes. She's amazing and she's here to talk to us about our spring into self-care series. She's got some tips on and just sort of words of wisdom on the things that many of us, as moms, struggle with, like managing our energy, managing our time, better work-life balance, which I think is the holy grail of all of this right and other forms of self-care. And because Tula's whole mission is to and I love this, this is pulled, ripped directly from your website and I love it so much is to shift the second shift. By empowering our clients to ask for help and prioritize with purpose, even when your to-do list is completely overwhelming. I think you're the perfect person to talk on those topics. But shift the second shift. That's so brilliant, right? Like moms, they have the whole day of whatever it may be. Stay at home, mom life work, whatever it is, and then they and life work whatever it is, and then they and then the kids come home and their partner is home and shift number two. Here we go, it's absolutely true, laundry and her and what dog and, oh man, so many things. So, um, I'd love to know where your, where your journey with Tula started. Talk to me about that, because this, this brand, is um, it's really special. As I look at it and kind of do my research, I I'm very interested in this. Talk to me how you got started. So I actually got started pretty recently, but I'm so just happy to be on board with that.

Caitlin Kindred: 2:50

And I not started because I was actually looking for more work-life balance in my life, but shifting, I really thought about getting back into the classroom and was trying to figure that out. So I was substitute teaching and I just knew if I went back to teaching, it would take over my life. And I found Tula and I fell in love with their mission. You know when you're looking for a job and it pops up on the page and, instead of sending the form cover letters, you're like, oh wait, let me open up a new document. And I was just like in love with their mission of helping other women prioritize their life and help them focus on what really matters.

Caitlin Kindred: 3:34

And let me tell you, megan and Cody are so delightful. They're the founders and the owners of Tula, and Tula is based in multiple cities, from Denver, boulder, raleigh, richmond and Scottsdale and Billings, montana I love that. Wow, billllingham, montana I want to say Cody from there originally. I hope I have that correct. So they of course our hometown was like we need to live there. So they of course Austin, and so, yeah, I love it and it's really. It's not only empowering the clients, but a lot of the personal assistants are moms too, who are just looking for extra work during the day and they love helping women. So it's really helping multiple people and I think that's great. So I love that. It's kind of a two-way street for the assistants who are helping out and they make it easy.

Caitlin Kindred: 4:30

I think the important thing, too, is because they have an app. It's called Tula T-U-L-A and it makes it easy to ask for help, and that's one thing we'll touch on a little bit later. But a lot of people have a really hard time asking for and accepting help. So it takes away that barrier, because it's a lot easier to type something into an app than it is sometimes to call up someone and ask them for help on the internet than it is sometimes to call up someone and them for help. Oh, we've talked about that so many times, right, it's. It's especially when you the weirdest. The worst question, I think, is um, what can I do to help? Cause that is to me that's a very overwhelming question. I'm like just look around, yeah, there was something everywhere you turn. But I also don't like being the person who says like, well, I keep this clean and the laundry really needs work, and right. So being able to just put it in an app where it's less, it feels, less confrontational, it feels I don't know, there's sort of a disconnect that kind of makes it easier to do that. I like that process.

Caitlin Kindred: 5:36

Okay, so let's get into the self-care piece of this. I think that our listeners really want to know you know more about those topics I touched on earlier. Right, like managing your energy levels and managing your time. Let's go there, wow.

Caitlin Kindred: 5:52

So I think the first thing to recognize is that there's a difference between physical energy and mental energy, and the funny thing is, is managing that it's actually how we manage? That is, utilizing the same thing, but recognizing within ourselves, like right now I don't have the physical energy to do something. The best example is sometimes my son will say, hey, do you want to go outside and throw the frisbee with me, you know, if his friends aren't available, and sometimes I have the energy and I'll do it. And other times I'm like I just don't. Can we play a game? I'm like I just can't run around. Right, the mental energy usually around 1 to 3 pm. You'll have to tell me what time of day you're dead, but 1 to 3 pm I'm pretty like I just don't have a lot of mental space and it'll recharge right after I pick my son up from I don't know our.

Caitlin Kindred: 6:49

You know everything is cyclical. So that's, I don't know what time of day are you. You know I, so I have. It was about two in the afternoon, especially when I wasn't drinking coffee.

Caitlin Kindred: 7:01

Now that coffee is back in my life, you know, it tends to be a little bit later, but the big crash for me tends to happen after my ADHD stimulant has wore off, which is right around five o'clock, and unfortunately that's the same time that my son's mental energy tends to run out to Right. So because, again, stimulants and those things that help us be functional during the day wear off by the end of the day, and so I sort of look around at that time of day and that's also, unfortunately, when the second shift really picks up, right. So for me it's, it's like this is the time when I need to be back up and running, but this is the time when I don't have it in me and it'll come back in like an hour, like you said, but I need it to be there at five and it's just not. Yeah, Well, and so that's, you know, especially with that is recognizing when it is, and so I don't know. For you, for example, I don't know if that means trying to ship dinner to a different time or having to work around that thing. Yeah, yeah, and I think it's important for us to to know thyself, to know when your energy is low and predict so you're not being hard on yourself every day. And yeah, so for me too, one of the huge light bulb moments for me, and I think for everyone, is recognizing naturally not just that but our how we're spending our energy through the week.

Caitlin Kindred: 8:29

And the best way to say, to recognize whether or not you're an introvert, an extrovert or an ambivert and I think from listening to you, you're an ambivert, I would, I think so. Yeah, I think it's so interesting because I definitely want my alone time, for sure, but then I noticed that I feel much more refreshed and be after. I've spent some time with people that I love, make me laugh, things like that. So I would say definitely ambivert for sure. Yeah, and for listeners that aren't sure, an ambivert is exactly between an extrovert and an introvert. So sometimes there are people that love to socialize but don't have parties, or that they love to socialize but still need that downtime after.

Caitlin Kindred: 9:09

And so I think, paying attention to limiting if you are an ambivert or an introvert, limiting your social events throughout the week or you're just going to drain yourself completely, sure, and I love my friends and family. There are some people in my life that I've learned that drain my energy. Yes, you know, we paying attention to that and seeing how you can kind of protect right and doing so in a way that honors the relationship you have with that person say, oh, I'm going to have this time with them. They mean a lot to me, but I'm sure I'm going to be mentally drained after this. I'm going to watch my favorite light TV show. Yes, absolutely yeah.

Caitlin Kindred: 10:03

And also we talked a little bit about this, about your slump of knowing making sure that if you have that slump in the day, trying to make sure that's not a time when you need to be productive. So I've learned to schedule my front load my work from that uses the most mental energy at the beginning of the day and then taper. So, for example, like emails and stuff like that to me, I taper off towards the end of the day where I just they don't have to. Yeah, that's really smart. Like if you're someone, if you heard that saying, eat the frog, where you do what's the hardest task first. That might not work for some people.

Caitlin Kindred: 10:47

For me, I'm someone who kind of needs to start out with a few of the littler tasks first to kind of get my momentum going and feel like, excuse me, feel like I'm accomplishing something, and then I can sort of tackle one of the bigger projects, but then, you're right, I have to taper back down again. So just that know thyself piece is a really important one here. I haven't thought about it that way, but just scheduling the things that take the most time and energy in a more mindful manner can really make a big difference. So absolutely. But I have to tell you you said eat the frog. So I teach a work-life balance class here in Austin for Tula and it's amazing. But I teach eat the frog.

Caitlin Kindred: 11:26

So for listeners, that does mean to do the thing that you don't like doing first, and I know everyone knew that phrase, but the first time I mentioned it I got some funny look and they were like do do what? Yeah, excuse me, I don't like frogs. I don't know what. Yeah, oh my, I've heard they're tasty, um, so it tastes like chicken, I don't know. Yeah, um. And to also know what gives you energy, and I think you touched on this on one of your previous episodes, but it's worth re-mentioning. Sometimes we just need the reminder of opening the windows, making your bed, super walk outside. You don't have to do all of these things.

Caitlin Kindred: 12:10

But eating a healthy breakfast, like really really feeding yourself, staying hydrated. I was just reading you know, sometimes we hear stay hydrated, but we let it go. I was reading that even mild dehydration of two percent water, body water loss already slows down your brain function, has significant impact on how you, how your mood is, your productivity, it impacts everything. Just mild dehydration wow, that's super interesting. Yeah, and they, um, if you are severely dehydrated, actually changes the um cerebral volume of your brain by like five percent. But like, yeah, you can actually like change the volume of your brain just with water. So, okay, well, um, another case for those, what? Eight glasses of drink? Uh, hang on to those emotional support water bottles, folks, because you need them. Um, who knew Hydration? Okay, so, like I don't know if my brain is on fire right now, but I did.

Caitlin Kindred: 13:17

I was like I'm going to make sure I'm not dehydrated going into this. Well, and podcasting will dry your mouth out. I'm just going to tell you now, like, when you're talking a lot and you're it's not a social setting where you've got like your beverage with you and you're kind of walking around and clinking glasses. This will, this will do it. So for sure we should have a great. Yeah, we should. We'll just sit here and sit if you hear me slurping, that's what I'm doing, guys. So, so I I will say this next one, and I will confess I don't think I've ever really tried this purposefully, but I'm going to, uh, as far as knowing what gives you energy taking your shoes off and going outside and putting your feet I've heard, oh, wow, okay, that one I haven't done before. I have.

Caitlin Kindred: 14:06

I have an alarm on my phone that tells me to go outside, like for like five minutes. Um, it's supposed to be in the morning, because vitamin d in the morning is really helpful for, you know, brain function and mental health and all those things. But sometimes I don't get to it until around noon and sometimes I skip it. But now I'm going to add that little piece of like, if there's not too many bugs, because the mosquitoes eat me, but I'll go put my feet in the grass. That sounds amazing. Yeah, literally touching grass. Yes, I'll go do my neighbor's grass. Her grass is so much prettier than ours. Just walk into your neighbor's yard with therapy like. No worries, hey, just my mental health break for the day. No, big time. Your old neighbor. Why is she doing? Your grass is better than mine. Thank you, oh, I love it. Um, and then there are I don't know if you learn this there are also breathing exercises to help actually regulate your energy.

Caitlin Kindred: 15:09

It can help bring your energy up or bring your energy down or calm you down, depending on what you do. So I learned this from a guy named Yoga, with Tim. Okay, I have not heard of him. Yoga is fantastic. He's very easy on the eye. Yes, okay, can we get behind it? I'm here for it. I'm so grateful One. His yoga videos are great. He actually teaches you what you're doing wrong and what you're doing right, and he so I'll kind of go through the reading. I will go through it, but I'll explain so. If you breathe in slowly but you only fill up your lungs like 80 percent and then you're gonna click for four seconds and then fill the rest of the 20 percent and then let it, that's supposed to calm you down. Okay, I want to see if you do the opposite, where you fill it up 20 and then fill it up 80 and then let it go.

Caitlin Kindred: 16:07

There are many breathing exercises that can actually help regulate your energy depending on what you need. Yeah, I've heard of, like, calming yourself down with breath, but I've never heard of hyping yourself up or giving yourself more energy. I'm sure that we've talked about you know, taking deep breaths to just to regulate, but that's a really interesting concept. I honestly never heard of that. I'm going to go look into that because that's a fascinating idea. Okay, I'm like I'm writing it down and I am not a breathing expert on this, but there, I know that there are also ones where you're supposed to, like, breathe in baths four times and then let it out, and then breathe out four times and let it out, and that's supposed to increase your energy. Again, I don't, my apologies, I don't have the exact um, no, no, no. If I find it, I'll put it on the blog post for this episode. Yeah, they're definitely breathing exercises to help help mood, to help energy, and I have used them. I've used them more when I need to, like, if I'm upset about something I need, like, yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of sense, okay, yeah, and then the. The last one is for us, things that give us energy.

Caitlin Kindred: 17:14

Have you heard of this eight minute phone call, like call a friend for eight minutes. No, tell me about this. No, I heard of it, I think from Simon Sinek. Are you familiar? Okay, I've heard that name. Yes, he's lovely and he talks about that. It only takes eight minutes, that's all you need to call a friend to offload, like some mental, either frustrations or to get energy. But call the friend that you know. Like you don't want to call your friend who's going through like a major life situation. You want to call your friend that you're like hey, like all it takes is eight minutes and so that's not allowable and it it just helps shift your energy and usually when you hang up the phone you're like okay, ready to get started on that task.

Caitlin Kindred: 17:58

I was dreading, yeah, um, I'm gonna put a little caveat there. There are friends who, despite what they're going through, are willing to listen. Anyway, I'm going to give Jenny a shout out here, because I've been that woman. For sure she will say like oh, I know I'm dealing with things, but what are you dealing with? Because she just comes from a place of. Yes, that's just how she is.

Caitlin Kindred: 18:19

One of my favorite questions to ask before doing something like that is um, do you have the mental space for me to vent to you right now. You know, do you have it in you? Is it okay if I vent to you in this moment? If I can't, I will write it down and we can come back to it later or something. I'll find some other way to vent it out. Maybe I have been known to record a voice note of me, like arguing to myself I love it, just, it just felt good to get it all out, right.

Caitlin Kindred: 18:49

But I think asking that question because, also, you might not know what that person is dealing with, you know in that moment or whatever, but, um, right, some friends are willing to take that on, so, but I love the idea of an eight minute call. Call, that's not a lot of time. You can spare 8 minutes, right, and I think so. I'm interested in the case. Is it specifically when you're like I need to offload something and what you said is so perfect, because the true measure of a very good friend is someone that's not my best friend, or she can be going through stuff and I can be going through stuff, but we're still here and still present, have that space for each other's issues as well. Okay, so I think you've given us a lot to think about when it comes to managing our energy.

Caitlin Kindred: 19:32

These tips, can you compile them, can you send them to us and then I can put them on our website? Where can we go to get a list of all these to be able to revisit them? Absolutely, I will give you, I'll send them to you for the website. And also, we have a promo code for all your listeners. Yeah, gifts for listeners, yes, and yeah, it's 20 off any tulip order for your first order, okay, and it's GrownUp20. I love it. I love it. Yeah, so you can just go in any of the app stores and download Tula to you, la, or go to our website at tulabalancecom. That discount will be for y'all.

Caitlin Kindred: 20:16

And I just wanted to add, there's this sweet quote that I came across about managing energy and I think sometimes, when we're looking for taking care of ourselves and self-care, we often are in this state of life where we're having a difficult time, and I just thought this was really, and it says your entire life can really change in a year. You just have to love yourself enough to know you deserve more and be brave enough to demand more and disciplined enough to work for more. So I think that the love yourself, to know that you deserve more, is really important here, especially when it comes to self-care and managing your energy and all the good things. Absolutely, I love that. Let's take a quick break and we'll be right back with more fun stuff for our moms and we'll be right back. Quick break again For links to resources mentioned in this episode. Head on over to ckandgkpodcastcom slash blog to find everything you need, and be sure to follow us on social media. Head over to your favorite social media network and find us at CK and GK podcast.

Caitlin Kindred: 21:32

And now back to the show. Okay, we are back, and we just talked about managing our energy, and one of the ways that I manage my energy is by laughing and talking about silly things, and so I'd like to talk about our gems and our obsessions. Uh, debra, do you have any obsessions right now? Yes, you don't have to. Okay, let's hear it. I mean, I work for two lists. I have to. Okay, let's hear it, I'm gonna work for two lists. I have to be like it's the two laps. So I do. I do love the two laps.

Caitlin Kindred: 22:00

That was the obvious one, but I'm also obsessed. I'll get my phone to like pull it up. It's called. This is a new obsession. I just found out about this a week ago. Okay, it's called the yuka app, it's y-u-k-a, okay, and it's a health food app. But you use it to scan any barcode and it will give you a ranking of poor, good, excellent or either.

Caitlin Kindred: 22:26

And so my younger brother told me about this and I went around to your pantry and I was like, well, so basically I need an entire new pantry, because he was on the phone at Central Market trying to find better snacks for his kids, toddlers, and so I just pictured him going into a store scamming all of them. That's great. And basically we only had two onions that were good. They were in the green, but they gave me a better suggestion for what you should be buying. So I did green, but you give me a better suggestion for what you should be buying. Telling you, I did send, I did scan a can of black beans because I knew that has to be, and I was like, hey, look something in the green. So you can, if you would like, to feel very shameful about what you're being. I'm just thinking about, you know, the nerd gummy clusters that I have in my pantry right now. What's that gonna show up. We're so good. No, I was like I really wanted to get to the grocery store just to see, like what's the lowest rate. What's it gonna be, man? Oh, the double stuffed oreos. I mean maybe, I don't know, those gummy clusters might rank pretty high on that bad food list, but that's okay. Yeah, so the ones with their red number five. All right, what's your? I mean, I have a few right now, but I'm going to share this one.

Caitlin Kindred: 23:56

This is makeup, because of course it is. It's Clinique's Almost Lipstick. It's a lip balm. This color is called Black Honey. It looks good on every single skin tone that I've seen. There's all these different women with obviously a wide range of skin colors all using the same one, and I'm going how does it look gorgeous on seriously every single skin tone, and it's not so lipstick-y that it feels like waxy or just it feels like lip balm. That will actually, you know, help your lips out when they feel chapped. Yeah, did you say honey? Black honey is what it's called. Is the color? It's almost lips, or, yeah, almost lipstick by clinique, and the color is black honey, and it looks good on everyone. It's like a mod, not a mavi, but like a maroony. Yeah, it looks. Yeah, it looks like a I mean like a blackberry almost is the color, but it doesn't come out like that and it looks really good on everyone. I'm really into this.

Caitlin Kindred: 25:03

I really want research on this because I swear to god, I use that color if it's like and that's not a not thing was it a dr pepper? Was it a bonnie bell lip smacker? There was probably one of those. No, I swear. You know, I really wish I had a time machine now and I really my favorite thing about it is that it's I don't feel like it's kind of dummy proof. I can just put it on if I don't have a camera in front of me, like basically it's what I use before calls to like make myself look less dead. Is I put this on and I don't feel like it's going to get on my teeth or it's going to get all over my you know, around my lips instead of on it, like I just I just really like it. So I recommend almost lipstick.

Caitlin Kindred: 25:50

You can find it on the store that does the a to z thing and if you're not interested in buying from them right now, you can find it probably anywhere that you can buy Clinique products With A to Z, the Amazon store. Everything from A to Z, that's their. Have you seen them? No, if you look at their logo, it's got an arrow that goes from the A to the Z. Amazon is everything from A to Z. From the A to the Z. Amazon is everything from A to Z. You'll never be able to unsee it now. It looks like a smile Black, just dropped. Oh, my god. So many times I've stared at the, like I have a life. But, like when I've looked at the Amazon logo, I'm like it's a smile. Right, it looks like a smile. It's an arrow from A to Z.

Caitlin Kindred: 26:36

See, learning, things that grown-ups like to know. That's what we're here for. Very important, but some of the things I don't know, you, yeah, no, and then you'll never. You'll never unsee it. Now that you look at it, you'll be be like, oh, what about gems? Aside from learning about the and seeing all the stuff in your pantry that makes you upset, what else Do you have? Any gems for me Are my obsessions? Yes, okay.

Caitlin Kindred: 27:11

So, lynn, it's in Austin. Okay, the whole other cities, your other stores sell it. It's in Austin, okay, I hope. Other cities. I'm sure other stores sell it.

Caitlin Kindred: 27:21

But there's a taco place here called El Tacorito and it's not Tacos are really good, but they have a drink called the Iguara or chato with espresso shots and we go as like a treat and it is so good. You can get a double for like, but it's like you can get a double, but it's like. You know, if we're like, oh, we really really want a coffee treat, we go is so amazing. If you like horchata and espresso, the equinox el taquerito, nice here for it, what about you? My?

Caitlin Kindred: 27:54

Okay, so this is my son. I mean, you know my son. Uh, you've known him for a while. I will say last time our kids saw each other was a while ago, but he is the same. So just silly and whatever. But now, something about them being eight or almost nine, there's like a little bit of sass that's coming in's like adult sass, right?

Caitlin Kindred: 28:17

So the other day I'm using a face mask. This one of my hacks for making myself get in the shower is I'll put on a face mask, and preferably one that I know will not burn, because that's not the right word but like tingle a little bit if I leave it on for too long, because then I'm like, oh my God, I got to get this off. I'll get in the shower and I was using another brand I'm going to throw out there, but it's the Ordinary's AHA, bha mask and it looks. It's red, it's like a red sort of slime and you put it on your face and it's supposed to be like a chemical peel sort of feeling. Well, I put it on and I go out into the living room and my son so like my face is covered in like reddish stuff and the first thing my son says, dead pan.

Caitlin Kindred: 29:06

Gives me one glance, turns away and he goes you look like a murderer. And then, just it looked like a murder. I need like, yeah, there's blood all over your face. Like what'd you do to yourself? I was like it's a face mask and my husband's like trying to keep it together, like because he knows I don't want to be made fun of in this moment because I'm clearly desperately trying to make myself take a shower. But just the dead pan, you look like a murderer.

Caitlin Kindred: 29:33

But, thanks, like what, I'm like a murder on the same skin. I mean, right, right, not every murderer can look this good, are you joking? Uh, yeah, thank you to my son for making me feel really great about this. Yeah, well, does it make your skin feel easy? It, yeah, it tingles a little bit and they tell you like, don't leave it on for any more than like 10 minutes because you'll feel it, you know. Um, so I leave it on. I have more sensitive skins. I leave it on for like feet and then I will go get in the shower. But, yeah, no, you feel good, like it, it helps, I like it. So it's the ordinary, which is a nice. It's a inexpensive, brand, high quality product that I really love. So, uh, it just looks for the thing that looks like a vial of blood. Nice, in a bottle. Yeah, I love that by your.

Caitlin Kindred: 30:30

Forget what the name of the chemical is by use. There, they call it botox in a bottle. It's not Botox, but it's just a chill off gray forehead wrinkle. Yeah, got that stuff too and got, I got, but I actually use the Botox. So there's that. Um, okay, that feels like a good place to wrap up this episode. So we talked about managing your energy. Um, and we're going to be definitely back next week with more about managing our time and a better work life balance, and until then, jenny would tell you to make good choices. So I'm going to say do that and take a few deep breaths, manage your energy, because that's part of taking care of yourself. You know self-care, you deserve it. Okay, bye.