00:00:01 - Jenny GK
Ooh, baby. Tuesday. It's.

00:00:11 - Caitlin Kindred
It is Tuesday. I did not know where you were going. Sometimes I know, sometimes I don't. That was a don't know.

00:00:17 - Jenny GK
Most of the time. I can replace the word to, I mean you with Tuesday. But this one, I thought we would do babies because today we're going to be talking about how to support a new mom.

00:00:29 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, yeah, that's a good topic. Because I think people think they know how to do it right and then, and then they're wrong and then. No, they don't know how to do that. So, yeah, let's, let's make a.

00:00:44 - Jenny GK
Before we do that, we could call Caitlin baby because nobody puts her in a corner.

00:00:51 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh. I mean, I'm feeling some eighties vibes today, too, so that actually really does. Hey, there you go. Good on, on my heart. Yeah, well, that's Jenny, my viciously goofy queen, who is gonna tell us all. Can't even say any of these at the straight face. They're all. They have to be. They have to be because she was insane. Okay. All right. Tell us about new baby.

00:01:24 - Jenny GK
Okay.

00:01:25 - Caitlin Kindred
Rules for support.

00:01:26 - Jenny GK
I thought of this because it has been a long time since I have had a baby, and Lord Wyndland and the creeks don't rise it will be forever before I have another one. We are done. Right? So. But here's the deal. I was thinking of it because it's been a long time since I've had a kid, and some videos showed up in my feed of someone, like, role playing, what it's like to be a new mom and get the wrong kind of support. And I remember those days, and I know that I am far enough away from them to be clueless enough to do the wrong thing.

00:02:10 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. You know, I'm glad that you said that because I actually just saw one maybe within the past week, that was a new mom with her baby in her front pack, like a clearly, like, new itty bitty one that's like, still kind of like a pink ball. And she was just sobbing into the camera like, I thought it was supposed to be like this. Nothing about it is like this. It's all like that. And I can't, like, my heart just broke for her. I think I even cried watching her, like, just completely come apart. So, yeah, tell me what to do, because I'm probably going to do it wrong, too, since it's been almost ten years. How soon we forget, right?

00:02:55 - Jenny GK
So I'm going to start with some definitions because, you know, the teacher in me.

00:03:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Got a, got a front load with that vocabulary. That's the only way.

00:03:04 - Jenny GK
So, medically, the postpartum period is just the first six weeks after giving birth, which is exactly. It's super wrong. Right. From an FMLA standpoint, like, it could be up to twelve, but for real life. Like, the postpartum recovery period could last, like, up to two years. It takes a long time for you to bounce back spiritually, mentally, physically, from the trauma that is giving birth and raising a newborn. Is it miracle? Yes. Is it wonderful? Yes. Is it also traumatic? Yes.

00:03:44 - Caitlin Kindred
And. Right. Traumatic and difficult and so glamorized in so many ways and. Yeah, and I wanted, like, that term bounce back. Like, I appreciate the grace that you offered there. I think that there are a lot of people who would make the argument that they really do. You don't bounce back. You bounce forward. Like, you are different kind of way. You are completely different. Being emotionally, mentally, definitely.

00:04:17 - Jenny GK
I mean. Hello. So, yeah, so it's no surprise. It's no secret that I've had two c sections we're talking about physically. I literally have a taco as a tummy. Like, my. My belly actually folds over the c section scar. There is no, like, fixing that without having the skin removed. So, you know, it's cool. Like, I lift up part of my body to wash it.

00:04:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. There are parts of my body that will never look the same. Never. And you and I talked about this over the weekend, which we'll get to later, but the things that I should have been wearing as a 20 year old, I did not care because I was too insecure. Like, darn, you know, I really missed some opportunities.

00:05:02 - Jenny GK
Okay, so I am pulling from two specific articles. One is from Baylor, Scott and white health system, and the other one is from Forbes Health.

00:05:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:05:14 - Jenny GK
And so there are some, like, major overarching categories of things that new moms need to make it through this postpartum time. And the first one, of course, is rest. And I am not just talking about sleep. I am talking about the kind of rest that you get when you can actually turn your mind off.

00:05:42 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. And that's really. That was something I could not do. I just couldn't do it.

00:05:49 - Jenny GK
This kind of support that a new mom needs in order to get that rest might actually be you just sitting next to her and saying, look, I'm here with you. This is hard. And it's okay for that. It's hard. Yeah.

00:06:07 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm also thinking about, like, actively demonstrating that, like, when she's not the one engaging with the baby, you are the one engaging with the baby and letting her see that, because there's. There's something about going to everyone's, like, sleeping the baby sleeves. No, that doesn't. I never did that. But also, it wasn't an issue of not, like, trusting any of the people around me to watch the baby. It was more that, like, I just. I couldn't. I couldn't relax unless I knew what was happening with the baby. And I believe that we would now refer to that as postpartum anxiety. But I needed to see the way that people were around the baby before I could calm down enough when I wasn't around. Does that make sense? So even just, like, demonstrating that you are capable.

00:07:08 - Jenny GK
Yeah.

00:07:09 - Caitlin Kindred
So terrible. But it's just. It's a reassuring sort of thing. Was enough for me to kind of ease my mind a little bit and get that mental rest that you're talking about.

00:07:19 - Jenny GK
Right. Another way to offer mom rest is to take things off her plate. So rather than saying, can I come over and meet the baby and hold the baby while you shower? Like, that's sweet, but, like, more than that. Like, hey, can I come over and wash your dishes? Can I come over and sweep your floors? Hey, I would like to come and clean your bathroom and actually name specifically what tasks that you can do and let mom say yes or no.

00:07:54 - Caitlin Kindred
I love that. Depending on the relationship you have with the new mom, I would not necessarily ask because in your case, at the time that you had the baby, I would say we probably were not as close as we are now, where I could say to you, now, leave. The next time you get up, leave your door unlocked. I'm going to come up there and I'm going to do Xyz in your house. I would have had to ask. That said, I love the. I'm coming over, I'm going to wash the dishes, and then I'm going to clean the bathroom. You are going to sit there. The other thing I like about that, and we've talked about mental load before, asking, what can I do, right. Is putting it back on the person that you're trying to help. And in those moments of complete overwhelm, the last thing that I can do is give you a chance.

00:08:55 - Jenny GK
Well, and I don't want to have to describe to you how to do it and, like, come up with a task that's not going to be offensive to you. Like, I don't know if I can say, hey, you know what I really need you to do is, like, can you go wipe the pee off the floor around the toilet since my kid is five.

00:09:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Right, right. And, I mean, I am even thinking about that now, like, as a just, nor, like a mom with an eight year old or in the middle of the day when my child is at school and I'm completely overwhelmed and someone says, well, what can I do to help? I don't. I don't know.

00:09:31 - Jenny GK
If I knew, I wouldn't feel as overwhelmed, I'd have a listen.

00:09:36 - Caitlin Kindred
So I think going into it with the mindset of, not only am I going to let you rest physically, but I'm going to let you rest mentally by telling you what I'm going to do. Like, in any way. I'm going to bring food, which I'm sure we'll get to, or, you know, all of those things that you can just say, this is what I'm going to do. To be supportive so that they don't have to think about it and come up with a job for you is going to be much more helpful than just saying, yo, I'm gonna sleep in. The baby sleeps, I'm gonna play with the baby. No, please don't.

00:10:12 - Jenny GK
Please don't offer to just play with the baby. That's the one thing I'm looking forward to each day, right?

00:10:20 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm still waiting for that smile, man. When I get that first smile, it will all be worth it.

00:10:26 - Jenny GK
Okay, so the next thing on my list is items for mom. And you have said this before, so.

00:10:33 - Caitlin Kindred
There'S a saying that I've heard over and over again. In particular, it has to do with the way we treat mothers in hospitals. We know that maternity care, maternity death rates are all. Maternal death rates are all terrible. We know these things. But the saying is, the baby is the candy bar, the mommy is the wrapper. And you protect the candy bar, but you throw the mom off to the side right? Now that the baby's out, you don't care about the rapper anymore. And so I make it my goal to add a baby shower. I know mom needs things for baby, especially first baby. Mom needs things for baby. And I understand that. And I will buy something off of the registry for the baby, but I also will find a. As many items as I can that are for the mother on the list. Buy those. And. And when I was new momming, I would find things that had been particularly helpful, that were useful, that I used every day that are not on that list. And I would give those to the.

00:11:44 - Jenny GK
Mom as well and just make the mom feel seen. One of my favorite gifts to give back in the day. Was itunes gift cards. And, like, here, I know you're gonna be up in the middle of the night. Do you need candy crush money? Do you want to buy a new movie? Do you want to download another song? Like, here you go, here's somebody to do that. Now it's not.

00:12:10 - Caitlin Kindred
That's so great. Yeah.

00:12:13 - Jenny GK
It's not as helpful, but the equivalent. Right? Like, hey, let me your Netflix bill for the next year. Like.

00:12:23 - Caitlin Kindred
I mean, it used to be a lot less expensive, boys and girls, but, like, even if you did, like, three months. Right, like, that's. It's, that's a good one.

00:12:32 - Jenny GK
It's seeing the mom as a person and recognizing that while her whole identity has shifted, she still exists independent of this baby. And we want to make sure that she knows that her community still sees her.

00:12:48 - Caitlin Kindred
I.

00:12:48 - Jenny GK
Because it's really easy to feel lost.

00:12:50 - Caitlin Kindred
I love it. It's very easy to feel lost. Any gift that you can give her that reminds her of who she is or was or thinks that she was, even though she still is that person is going to be so well received, it might not make sense in the moment, but I promise you she will understand the other. I mean, anything that's going to make her life easier, too. Like, I always think of, like, caddies.

00:13:17 - Jenny GK
Oh, yeah.

00:13:17 - Caitlin Kindred
So that when she's going from the couch to the bed, right. I traveled from the couch to the bed. And my caddy had a space for diapers and wipes. It had a little, like, mat, and it had a space for my hospital cup because I don't care what anybody says. Those hospital cups they give you with the bendy straw, that's the best cup in the whole world. That's what Stanley needs to be making right now.

00:13:45 - Jenny GK
The most expensive cups on the planet.

00:13:48 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Because they cost several thousand dollars and all of my dignity to get this cup. I think that's why women like Stanley so much, because it reminds especially, like, moms. Like, I got called a Stanley mom because I have a Stanley and she's the girl.

00:14:05 - Jenny GK
Oh, no, you did nothing.

00:14:08 - Caitlin Kindred
And it just occurred to me, I really think that it's because they are like, the hospital cups.

00:14:14 - Jenny GK
That is funny.

00:14:17 - Caitlin Kindred
Right, right. But, like, that's what my caddy had in it. Space for that space for like, protein bars and. And like, I don't know, place to put the pacifier and all the other thing, chapstick, all that stuff. You could even just fill a caddy full of stuff for mom and then bring it to her as a baby shower gift or as a postpartum gift. I think that's a great idea.

00:14:42 - Jenny GK
You mentioned snacks. This is the next way that you can support a mom, right? Is nutrition. We all know about putting together a meal train, bringing a meal, sending an Uber eats gift card, which is like, here is the gift of choice.

00:14:58 - Caitlin Kindred
I love that one. That's my favorite.

00:15:00 - Jenny GK
If you can let someone pick their own meal during this time, like, you really are changing someone's life.

00:15:09 - Caitlin Kindred
It's like, what do you want? Do you want the lasagna that I prepared for you and froze, or do you want some, like, really, really good sushi?

00:15:20 - Jenny GK
Your choice.

00:15:21 - Caitlin Kindred
I know. I want.

00:15:22 - Jenny GK
No, I will tell you, the best postpartum gift I ever got was by. Was from friend of the show Jenny, who puts the fun in funeral. She broke into my house, filled my freezer with fish and beef and just, like, fresh meats. Like, not. Not casseroles, which, you know, please, I have eaten my fair share.

00:15:53 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, they're meats, and they're delicious.

00:15:56 - Jenny GK
There was one mom who brought me a pot pie, and I told her it was so good, and she was like, oh, I can make another one. I was like, oh, can you make four? Like, I. If you could just bring me, like, a lot of pot pie, that would be amazing. So don't get me wrong, like, I love a good casserole, but what, Jenny?

00:16:12 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, yeah. Lasagna was best.

00:16:14 - Jenny GK
Provide a bunch of fresh food, put a stocked my freezer with that, and then on the counter, put together a whole smorgasbord of snacks. I came home from the hospital. I came home from the hospital, and there was, like, any kind of treat and nut and dried fruit, whatever I could want. It was incredible.

00:16:43 - Caitlin Kindred
That is really, really amazing. I love that. I was gonna. I almost, like, blurted out in the middle of it, she's so much better than this. But I don't know why it's on my brain, but I was almost, like, uncrustables. She's so much better than that that I know she wouldn't do it, but I.

00:17:01 - Jenny GK
No, but that's the thing is, like, she knew what I needed, she knew what I wanted. And when I came home, I came home to everything at the, like, right at the end of my fingertips. It was amazing.

00:17:14 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. I'm also thinking about, like, if. If she's a smoothie girl, you, like, prep a bunch of smoothie bags and smoothie bags so that all she has to do is throw it in there. You make sure she's got her smoothie base. I'm an OJ person. Some people are an almond milk or yogurt person. But yeah, you just make sure she's got all the stuff that she, that she would normally eat that would make her feel like a human. And snacks are super helpful. I ate, I think I existed off of protein bars, like, in the middle of the day because I just couldn't get, like, I couldn't get up and I couldn't prep anything and I couldn't. Because no matter what, if he wasn't like, on my skin, it didn't.

00:17:55 - Jenny GK
There was this snack mix that JSCO bought for me, nut Trician. And I'm telling you, I all of it in like three days. And then just kept buying it over and over again. I would have never purchased for myself, but because she brought it for me, I was like, oh, changed my life. So nutrition, right? That's another way. Okay, so here's the deal. If this is mom's second or subsequent baby providing something entertainment for the older children, and that might look like, hey, can I take Abby to the zoo next Saturday?

00:18:33 - Caitlin Kindred
Yep.

00:18:34 - Jenny GK
Or it might be, hey, I brought a puzzle for your kid and I'm going to sit on the floor and do it with them.

00:18:40 - Caitlin Kindred
Mm hmm. Keep them occupied for a little bit.

00:18:44 - Jenny GK
There are big feelings for older siblings and acknowledging that and reminding them that they are their own person. And it's not just, I'm not just here to see baby sister or brother is really, really powerful. You are winning mom over if you are winning over her kids 100%.

00:19:05 - Caitlin Kindred
And I also remember watching my mom as I got older, and my youngest sister is twelve years younger than me, so I was twelve when she was born. And watching her try to manage at the time, a two year old, a four year old, a six year old and an eight year old, or it should be, she was a newborn and then a two, four six year old and then me who was twelve. So, like, that's a lot of little fingers and toes and things and fighting and minds. And I want to play with the baby and like, all of these things that are happening and I can only imagine the amount of stress, like, cause all you want is quiet, where all you want is to be able to interact with your other kids and you can't.

00:19:56 - Jenny GK
And if you're nursing, that you can do to it just adds another level.

00:20:00 - Caitlin Kindred
You can't get up. Like, you can't, you know what I mean? I don't know how my mother did that again because I couldn't get up and I had the one. Anything you can do to kind of give mom a break from them or just keep them happy when she can't be the one who gives them attention. I love that recommendation. That's a great one.

00:20:23 - Jenny GK
Okay, so I have two more. One is offering her normalty, and this is actually what the video was that I saw. It's a woman, and she's, like, disheveled and, you know, spit up on her shirt, and she's holding the baby, and a friend comes to visit, and the friend's like, oh, do you want me to mop? Do you want me to make dinner? Do you want me to hold the baby while you take a shower? Do you want to just go take a nap? I'm ready. It's just really. Can we just gossip about work people?

00:20:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Yeah. Can you just fill me in on all the hard of what's going on in the office while I'm not.

00:21:01 - Jenny GK
And it was just. That's all she needed in that moment, was just to have a conversation. And the other character who's visiting says, oh, so you mean like anything in the world that's not this tiny little isolation box you've been living in?

00:21:17 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, that's what it is. Anything in the world that takes my mind off of the fact that my entire world is different than it was three weeks ago would be.

00:21:28 - Jenny GK
Yeah. And it's like, here, let's just sit on the couch and watch bad tv like we did a month ago. But now this time, there's a baby here, right?

00:21:44 - Caitlin Kindred
And the nice thing about new babies is that, one, a lot of them sleep during ambient noise. So if you are sitting there talking to your friend, there's a really good chance that baby will fall asleep. Two, you don't have to watch your language around a baby because they don't remember. They can barely see anybody. Like, they don't. They're not going to hear it. It's all fine. Like, there's nothing, like just being yourself around the mom, obviously, like, recognizing that she had a baby, I think, would be an important thing to do. Right? Like, oh, my gosh, you had a baby. Look at how beautiful. And then when she has to pause and say, can't drink this wine, gotta switch over to dark beer because I'm nursing to acknowledge that. Right. But then you just keep on watching.

00:22:35 - Jenny GK
That's it. And it was clear that, like, meant to be the second or third time that this friend had visited because she had already done the ooing and ah ing. But it was.

00:22:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:22:48 - Jenny GK
Can we just talk about the mailman? Who's stealing packages?

00:22:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Can we both just sit here and doom scroll on Instagram and I'll just, like, show you?

00:23:00 - Jenny GK
Or. Or I'll just send it to you from across the room and wait for you to laugh, right?

00:23:05 - Caitlin Kindred
And then wait for you to laugh at it. So that's all fine.

00:23:09 - Jenny GK
That is a really great gift that you can give a new mom. So, so far, we have said give her rest, whether that be actually letting her sleep or taking tasks off her plate, sitting next to her and letting her know that her feelings are normal, whether it be mental, spiritual, or physical rest. Just offering her rest, bringing items that are specifically for mom, whether it be for postpartum mom or mom as a human being outside of baby, just things that say, hey, I recognize that you are still here. And while your baby is fabulous and exciting and the cutest thing on the planet, you also exist. Nutrition. Whether that be offering her fresh foods or something warm and cozy and full of cheese and carbs or just an Uber eats gift card. So she gets to pick what she wants to eat, entertaining her older kids, offering to take them out of the house for a little bit, give them a special play date, bringing them a present that's just for them, and then playing with them with that present. Offering her some normalcy, letting her reconnect to her own adulthood and who she is outside of being a parent. But the last one is really important. And this is helping her understand her own mental health. Recognizes the sign, recognizing the signs of baby blues versus postpartum depression. And that means that you don't have to be a psychologist, you don't have to be a specialist. But you can let her know that, hey, some of these feelings of disappointment or fear, anxiety, overwhelm, mood swings, irritability, all of that's natural. Your body is changing drastically and quickly. I remember right after Kit was born, we had moved into a new house about six weeks before he was born. And we realized that we really needed a coffee table because John and I were basically living on the couch with kit. And so he ordered a coffee table. It came in, he put it together, and I lost my mind. How could you buy this? This is so ugly. It's so terrible. It doesn't match anything in our house. This is so worse. And my mom is dying laughing. She thinks it is the funniest thing. She was like, jen, calm down. You are fine. You are emotional. You are hormonal. This coffee table will work for right now. Pull yourself together and deal with the coffee table. That is what they call the baby blues. Totally normal. It's the mood swings and changes that come with your body. That said, what can really be treated and is actually a mental health condition is postpartum depression. And about 15% of new mothers experience this, and it doesn't always happen within the first two weeks.

00:26:27 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm sorry, can you say that number one more time?

00:26:29 - Jenny GK
15% of new.

00:26:31 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, 15%. That's a lot.

00:26:33 - Jenny GK
It is a lot.

00:26:34 - Caitlin Kindred
That's a lot.

00:26:35 - Jenny GK
It's like one in seven, right?

00:26:38 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Yeah. I'm thinking about my own experience. I had also just moved. I moved about seven and a half weeks after.

00:26:49 - Jenny GK
Yeah. And let's be real, I moved from one house in the city to another house in the city, from one neighborhood to a better neighborhood, from a small house to a bigger house. Like, this was an uptick grade move. And it was not at all emotional, other than we had a new house to build.

00:27:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Mine.

00:27:08 - Jenny GK
Right.

00:27:08 - Caitlin Kindred
Not that day. We went from a house that we, a house that we owned in Colorado to a house that we rented here in Texas and.

00:27:18 - Jenny GK
Wait, wait, you guys. Did you hear that, guys? From Colorado to Texas. I moved 15 miles across town.

00:27:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Right, right. It was not my favorite apartment. And it was like a. It was a duplex. It wasn't my favorite. I hadn't gotten to see it before we moved again. It was August. May I say that one more time? It was August with a newborn in Texas. It was so hot. I went from being, from planning my maternity leave at work to having no job. My mom wasn't nearby. I lost all my friends. It was a, and, and when I went for my postpartum checkup, I said all these things. And my, my rn was like, I think she's got some signs of PpD here. And I just said, well, no, I'm moving. So that's why I'm so sad. But when I look back at what it was, it was probably sadness, but complicated by. But probably some complicated by. And probably. I wouldn't call it postpartum depression, but I might call it postpartum, and that's a real thing.

00:28:26 - Jenny GK
So here are some things to look for in your friend, and this comes from the Baylor Scott and White article. Look for depressed mood, of course, loss of interest in normal activities. And we're not talking about, like, she doesn't want to get up and go out with her girlfriends. That's because she hasn't slept in six weeks. But we're talking about, like, I'm not interested in feeding the baby. I'm not interested in playing with the baby.

00:28:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:28:56 - Jenny GK
Guilt, hopelessness, insomnia. That's not related to the changes in circadian rhythm, but more of just, I feel tired, yet I can't sleep. Changes in appetite. Now, this is not about me. Like, what I. Both kids, when I was nursing, I ate more than when I was pregnant. I was famished. I nursed both my kids for about a year. And during those two years of my life, I must have eaten the Michael Phelps level of calories every day. I was always hungry.

00:29:38 - Caitlin Kindred
That's interesting. I I know I didn't eat enough. I know I didn't eat enough. And I, like, I was joked, like, I only made skim milk because, like, Sam was so skinny. He was so, like, all I wanted was, like, meaty baby thighs. I never got them. He had, like, little chicken legs, and he was precious, but he never got meaty. And I'm pretty sure there was a lot of it that was, like, I wasn't putting enough calories.

00:30:04 - Jenny GK
I could not eat enough.

00:30:05 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. Oh, man.

00:30:07 - Jenny GK
So we are talking about major swings in appetite, right? Or lack thereof. And then the one that is exclamation point, underline, italicized, is thoughts of harming themselves for the baby. And the way you answer this is, let's get you some help. You are not alone. Lots of women feel this way.

00:30:29 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, that's. You are not alone in this. And I think we need to. And we can get you someone who can support you. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

00:30:37 - Jenny GK
Don't be afraid. This, doctors see this all the time. We can get you the help you need.

00:30:43 - Caitlin Kindred
And they see it so often that they screen for it like it's a, it's a big deal. So.

00:30:50 - Jenny GK
So just be there. And just say, yeah, just be there. Okay, let's. Let's do something about this.

00:30:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Mm hmm. And I'll go with the appointment, or I'll help you. I'll make the phone call for you, and I'll put you on the phone.

00:31:02 - Jenny GK
Like, so, offer some rest. Lots of different ways to do that. Bring her something special just for her. Make sure that she has plenty to eat. And whether that be actually feeding her body or just feeding her soul, it doesn't matter. Make sure that you have an opportunity to entertain her older kids, whether that be with stuff or time. Offer some normalcy. See her as a person outside of just a new mom and help her if she needs. Recognize the signs of postpartum depression, separate it from just baby blues and let her know that these things happen and we can take care of it.

00:31:40 - Caitlin Kindred
I love it. For links to resources mentioned in this episode, head on over to cknGKpodcast.com blog to find everything you need and be sure to follow us on social media. Head over to your favorite social media network and find us at cknGKpodcast. And now back to the show.

00:32:01 - Jenny GK
Okay, are you ready? Are we back?

00:32:03 - Caitlin Kindred
We're back.

00:32:04 - Jenny GK
Okay, so let's start with what we're obsessed with, y'all. While we have been recording, I have turned my camera off, but I have to turn it back on because I have to show Caitlin this device that I bought. Okay, so y'all know about the no sucker thing that you can have with a baby? Yeah, I remember what it's called, but, like, you shove it up their nostril, and then you suck on one end, and there's a filter, and you, like, suck the snot out of their nose.

00:32:31 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. So the one. There's a brand that sold it. So I don't know what it's called, but I know that the brand that I used was the.

00:32:39 - Jenny GK
No, Frida. That's the one. Okay, so I have found the adult opposite of this.

00:32:48 - Caitlin Kindred
So it pushes fingers into your face.

00:32:51 - Jenny GK
This is called eustachy, as in eustachian tones.

00:32:58 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, I. Yes, I recognize that word.

00:33:01 - Jenny GK
It blows into your nose to help you clear your ears.

00:33:11 - Caitlin Kindred
I believe my mother would look at me and say, chew.

00:33:13 - Jenny GK
So here's the thing. I have chewed gum. I have done the Valsalva maneuver, which is where you close your nose and you push through it. I have massaged my face and rubbed.

00:33:26 - Caitlin Kindred
Down my throat, sinuses, and.

00:33:28 - Jenny GK
But when I have allergies, I get them in my ears and my eustachian tubes, like, stay open. I can hear myself breathe. Like, all the words that I speak rattle inside my head. It was so bad two weeks ago that I was wearing earplugs just to help muffle noise because the sounds were causing me physical pain.

00:33:51 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, my God.

00:33:52 - Jenny GK
So John found this on the Internet. It is made by neomed, which is the same company that, like, makes the yeti. That got the yeti pot. What is it? Neti potty pot? Yeah, the yeti pot. The fancy one. So, basically comes in all these different colors.

00:34:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Keeps your saline cold or hot.

00:34:16 - Jenny GK
Okay, Saturday live, I just gave you a whole bit. Okay, so what you do is you plug one nostril, and then you turn this puppy on, and it pushes this, the air up your nose, and it pops your ears.

00:34:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, you guys.

00:34:45 - Jenny GK
And I love it so much.

00:34:46 - Caitlin Kindred
I swear she's using a nose thing and not something else. Oh, my God. I just hit my head on the microphone.

00:34:56 - Jenny GK
It's amazing. I love it.

00:34:58 - Caitlin Kindred
You stay chic. I have these bright pink post it notes on my desk right now, and my face is the same color as you. It's so good.

00:35:11 - Jenny GK
It has a picture of a girl on the COVID Like, the happy white girl.

00:35:17 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, it is white girl. Yeah.

00:35:19 - Jenny GK
Like, seriously, a stock photo. And then they just, like, photoshopped this thing into the picture.

00:35:25 - Caitlin Kindred
She's holding her nose on one side. That's amazing.

00:35:29 - Jenny GK
It is 100% natural, drug free. It just pushes air through your. Through your nose.

00:35:34 - Caitlin Kindred
That's pretty incredible.

00:35:36 - Jenny GK
And I carry it around with me everywhere I go now. It's in my work bag, and I keep it in the box so that I can show people how much I love it. And I like Vanna White.

00:35:45 - Caitlin Kindred
It.

00:35:45 - Jenny GK
I'm like, here you say she by Neil.

00:35:48 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, it's very. You're doing, like, Vanna White and also any of the models. Yeah, the prices are.

00:35:53 - Jenny GK
Yes.

00:35:54 - Caitlin Kindred
Like, that's the vibe.

00:35:55 - Jenny GK
100%. I'm gonna put on a mini skirt and some hair extensions and sell this thing.

00:36:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Nice. Did you know that Meghan Markle was one of the girls on dealer? No deal.

00:36:11 - Jenny GK
I'm not surprised about that at all.

00:36:14 - Caitlin Kindred
Before she did suits anyway. Orlando. Well, yeah, that's the good part. But she was also want. So mine is a lotion that I have become ridiculously obsessed with. So little backstory on this stuff. You know, I have one of those, like, subscription makeup things where they send you samples, and it, like, helps you try different things. But basically, I do it so I don't have to buy mascara, because then I, you know, whatever. Except I do buy mascara because I only buy the one now anyway. Doesn't matter. That's not the point. The point is, I got this lotion as a sample in there, and I brought it with me to Colorado because I don't. I was there for a short amount of time. I didn't want to have to, like, check a bag full of product and all that stuff. So I just took the travel size and thought, I'll throw it away when I. When I leave. No big deal. Except I loved the lotion so much that I couldn't throw it away because there were still, like, half of it in there. And I was like, I can. I love it. And then I used it all up, and now I had the big size. But it's called. It's too cool for school, is the brand. And it's called all in one egg mellow. Egg mellow? Yeah, like.

00:37:38 - Jenny GK
Like, if you were really chilled out chicken.

00:37:42 - Caitlin Kindred
Like, if you're trying to make a meringue, but, like, with eggs or mayonnaise, I guess, is, like, what I'm picturing, like, you. Yeah. So, um, here's the problem. I don't know what's in it because it's made in Korea, and all of the stuff is in Korean on the back. That said, I have never loved a lotion more than I love this stuff. Like, where you can put it between your fingers on your face. It's a face lotion. Um, it is a five in one firming moisturizer. I hate that word. Um, but it's got, like. Because it has, like, egg. It's got collagen. Like, natural. Yeah. Like, natural collagen in it. So, like, if I use it and I put some of it on my fingers. Oh, my God. This is. Why are we not doing this on video? We need to just, like, I'll snip this and I'll put some of it on YouTube anyway. But, like, if I'm like, do it, you can, like, see strings.

00:38:42 - Jenny GK
Oh, y'all. It literally looks like egg whites.

00:38:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, it's like it. Because it's collagen. Strings. And I'm telling you, my face has never been more soft.

00:38:55 - Jenny GK
I feel like it would be sticky.

00:38:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Never. Not even a little bit. Not even a little bit. Like, next time. Next time you come over here, I'm gonna make you. I don't even care. I might look. Just make you. I might just buy it for you and send it to you, because I love this stuff so much. I know you have your Candice Bergen. Not Candice Bergen. It's not Candice Bergen.

00:39:25 - Jenny GK
It's Candace Cameron Garaye.

00:39:29 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, you upgraded. Cause it was Candice.

00:39:32 - Jenny GK
Well, she's disposable for it, so. But it's, like, legit, so. Yes, it is a real product. It's not the Murphy brown face care.

00:39:43 - Caitlin Kindred
They're the same, right? Candace Cameron Bure and Candice Bergen. Yeah. This really does need to go up on YouTube. Okay, so that's my obsession. It's just my egg mellow face.

00:39:56 - Jenny GK
Okay, so now it's time for me to give you my gem. The best thing that's happened to me all week. And Caitlin and I went out this weekend, and I told her something really cool is happening at my school, but I cannot tell you I'm saving it for the bike. Okay.

00:40:10 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:40:10 - Jenny GK
As y'all know, I'm a middle school assistant principal, which means I have the pleasure of dealing with, quote unquote, discipline issues. Now, I teach out of private school. The kids are amazing. Like, we really don't have quote unquote discipline issues the way that you might at a typical neighborhood school. That said, I had to break up a whole cartel last week because there was some contraband, there was some trading of alternative currency.

00:40:55 - Caitlin Kindred
What?

00:40:56 - Jenny GK
The 7th graders have been stealing the fabric poles that are slipped into the end of a zipper to make it longer.

00:41:11 - Caitlin Kindred
What?

00:41:12 - Jenny GK
Yes. So imagine your backpack zipper is a normal size length, but then some fancy backpacks have a longer piece of string that comes off the side of that to make the backpack longer, giving you more leverage so that you can zip faster. Well, these zipper pulls, zipper fobs, zipper strings have value at my school. So I created this meme that says not bitcoin, but zip coin and sent it out to the entire faculty and said, please let me know if any of your students have an obscene number of zipper pulls. And for the rest of the day, I am pulling kids out of class saying, what do you know about zippers?

00:42:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, my God.

00:42:12 - Jenny GK
Do you know there are no victimless crimes? You cannot just take something from someone's backpack and trade it like currency. And I am trying so hard to talk to these kids. Do I need to call your parents about this, or do you think you can just be done?

00:42:36 - Caitlin Kindred
They're ripping off. Not ripping, but like, they're stealing them off of other backpacks, trading them with each other.

00:42:43 - Jenny GK
Have the kids leave their backpacks in the hallway. And our school is secure, so it's not like someone's going to come by and steal things. Unless, of course, they happen to be another kid.

00:42:51 - Caitlin Kindred
Unless the 7th grader steals a zipper.

00:42:53 - Jenny GK
And the kids are not stealing anything of value. They are taking the pools off the zipper. Now, if we could just be a little privileged for a minute and recognize where I teach. The most popular backpack right now is the north face backpack.

00:43:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Always has been, always will be. Are you joking? I still have my north face.

00:43:16 - Jenny GK
I don't know what you're talking about.

00:43:18 - Caitlin Kindred
No, I switched to north face in college. I'll never go back if I have a backpack.

00:43:23 - Jenny GK
The north page backpack is very popular. The north faced zipper poles are available on Amazon. You can buy a pack of 50 for $10. So? So I didn't believe it either one of the moms bought a 50 pack and gave it to the school to, like, help replace the ones that kids have been stealing. The ones that are really worth more than anything else are the Nike, because not many kids at our school have Nike backpacks. Everybody's got north face. So if you have a Nike pool, you can trade it for five north faces. And if you have one of the yellow north faces, there were three black ones.

00:44:06 - Caitlin Kindred
I love 7th graders.

00:44:07 - Jenny GK
Right? How? And I am dying. All the teachers think it's hilarious. Now of course also they're stealing things. Right? We have to stop it.

00:44:19 - Caitlin Kindred
Right, right. Trade them all you want. Remember it's like silly bands or when the last few years it was a. It was scrunchies. Yeah, boys trading scrunchies. So all up and down my arms it was weird. So zipper pulls, but that's what this is.

00:44:39 - Jenny GK
So two 8th grade girls come to my room or my office. See, look, I'm still talking like a teacher. Come into my office the other day, they're like our zipper poles are missing. We had them at lunch and now they're missing after six period. It is happening during recess. So the three of us decide that we are going to set up a sting operation during recess.

00:45:05 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, you are. And did it yield results?

00:45:10 - Jenny GK
At a picnic table at recesse with a notebook open, making it look like I'm doing some kind of work, whether it be a mindful study, journaling something that looks like, oh, she's definitely in.

00:45:24 - Caitlin Kindred
It, she's journaling the AP, journaling recess.

00:45:31 - Jenny GK
And then it starts. The kid walks over the stealing and he goes to take the zippers and someone else yells, hey, Miss GK's right there. She's gonna see. So I whip my head around like I am gonna see. And I look at the kid and I'm like, guys, you cannot yell my name that loudly because I am going to turn around, I am going to know what you're doing. Meanwhile, I knew the whole time. So now I have my culprit. I know who is attempting at least to steal the zippers. But this is just circumstantial evidence. It is not enough for me to bring trial. I need to actually catch him in the act, not just the attempt thereof. So tomorrow, okay, I'm gonna read a book.

00:46:23 - Caitlin Kindred
Sting part two. Oh nice. There you go. Put in your Airpods and like pretend that you're listening to something but just have them on. And again, sometimes I do that when it's too much noise.

00:46:36 - Jenny GK
In principle, I'm not going out to recess to read a book. I'm going out there to keep you guys safe. I am actively monitoring.

00:46:46 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. Not if you're reading though. All right. I like it. My gem is related to you. Yeah. So, guys, Jenny took me on a date last weekend, and we went to go see Becky Robinson. Now, for whatever reason, for all the amount of time that I spend on the Internet, I did not put it together that Becky Robinson and the entitled housewife are the same person. Until. Until. And now I have seen the entitled Housewife because my husband shows it to me, because we both love the real housewives so much, and she's so insanely ridiculous and wonderful. And if you're not. If you're not following, go follow. But. And you can follow both Becky Robinson and the entitled housewife because she has separate accounts for each thing. So I've been following the entitled housewife and not Becky Robinson for a long time. Well, the date was that Jenny took me to go see Becky Robinson, who does her own stand up at first, and then she does the second half as the entitled housewife. And the amount of women, by the way, who were just yelling trash, like, round us were so funny. So Jenny did not tell me what we were doing for months. She booked these. She got these tickets months ago. Did not tell me. And then just like, goes, hey, we have a date on this night. We're going to this thing. And I was like, okay. And then, like, last week, she sends me a message, hey, don't forget we have a date. And I was like, I absolutely did forget. Thank you for. You're absolutely right. And I didn't know what we were doing, and my husband didn't know. And then he was like, you know what? Forget it. I'm just going to ask her, and she'll tell me. And I was like, no, she won't. And then she did. And then she did. And he lorded that information over me for the remainder of the week. And she tells me to dress up for the occasion. And your words were sporty at first. And then you said, golf chic. Me not putting anything together correctly. So, the funny part, my john and.

00:49:15 - Jenny GK
I went to a cocktail party where the dress was Apreski.

00:49:22 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, we had a parent a PTA event. Apreski. It was fun, though. It was a fun one.

00:49:28 - Jenny GK
What am I supposed to wear in Austin, Texas?

00:49:33 - Caitlin Kindred
A puffer vest and some ski atlas, bro. That's all you need.

00:49:36 - Jenny GK
Wear puffer vest. He did.

00:49:38 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, that's what we did. I wore puffer vest. Bryce wear a puffer vest. He had my ski goggles. It worked out really well. And I wore a pom pom hat. Done. That's all I have to do. And some boots. But I also lived in.

00:49:51 - Jenny GK
Well, this was a cocktail party in Texas.

00:49:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Well, this was in Texas, too, but it happened right after the freeze, so we did fine. Anyway, so golf chic. And I'm like, I don't know what this is. And she told me not to do research, which I lied and said I didn't do research, but of course I did. And I couldn't figure out anything. Nothing came to mind. So finally I said, I know what it is. It's golf chic. She's got me dressing sporty. It's got to be some sort of mom's night out, probably on a golf course. And she just. And this girl loves a theme, so that's why we're doing it. And I go up to my husband, and I was like. And I'm right, and I know it. Nailed it. Boom. Like, so much confidence, right? Like the Andy Bernard. Like, you know, football cream. Nailed it, right? Chrysler car, cat food. Nailed it. That's how confident I was. I was like, we're going to this mom's night out margaritas. We're going to go to a driving range. It's weird for us. For us to do. It's weird. I would do it. I'm fine. Like, or, like, topgolf or something. Like, I'll do it. It's all fun. I have no problem. I like sporty things. I love activities. Like, I'm down. But it's weird. Like, that's not something that we would normally do. But I was so confident. So confident. So then we get downtown, and we're over at the Paramount.

00:51:20 - Jenny GK
I was like, this is nothing.

00:51:22 - Caitlin Kindred
I don't think that's what we're doing.

00:51:24 - Jenny GK
There's no golfing in the middle of downtown.

00:51:27 - Caitlin Kindred
I was so, so wrong. Like, I could not. I've been more incorrect. Well, and then the funny thing is, when I looked at mom's night out events later on, I'll be damned if there wasn't a mom's night out event.

00:51:45 - Jenny GK
At a driver range.

00:51:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Had a driving range, like, two days after, I was like, see, this is a thing. Just wasn't the thing we were gonna do, but it was the thing.

00:51:57 - Jenny GK
But we were not the only women there in golf chic.

00:52:00 - Caitlin Kindred
No, I would say, like, a third of the women there had at least some sort of something on, like, themed something. It was a fun night. If you haven't followed her, you should. She's mildly inappropriate, which is the best kind of comedy, if you ask me. It's relatable. But she's great. And you and I had a really good time and we laughed a lot, which is good for both of us. So that's my gem, is one way.

00:52:33 - Jenny GK
You can support a mom. Make her laugh.

00:52:36 - Caitlin Kindred
Make her laughter.

00:52:39 - Jenny GK
Just let her know if she's a new c section mom, that you're gonna make her laugh. And give her that little pillow that goes on her belly while she does it.

00:52:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Give her the pillow and some, like, shapewear or something to hold something, compression.

00:52:54 - Jenny GK
Okay, y'all. Alright, make good choices.

00:52:58 - Caitlin Kindred
And make her laugh. Okay, bye.