00:00:00 - Speaker A
Warning. This episode discusses school violence, a sensitive topic that may be triggering for some of our listeners. In the wake of the recent tragedy at Appalachia High School in Winder, Georgia, we are revisiting an episode that feels all too relevant. We know many of you are feeling helpless and angry. You're not alone. This episode, originally released in April of 2023, is packed with actionable steps you can take to fight for safer schools and prevent future tragedies. We'll guide you through effective advocacy, policy changes, and ways to support victims families. Let's turn our anger into action. Let's honor the victims by creating a safer future for our children, their teachers, and our communities. So let's get started. Yay, you're here. Welcome to how to be a grown up with CK and GK. Let's get started.

00:01:07 - Jenny GK
It's Tuesday, and of 65 episodes that we've recorded, this is our second on school violence.

00:01:16 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. We're really glad you're here today. We're recording this after events in Tennessee and also events that happened in Denver. So today we have six ways that you can take action if you're feeling a little helpless after recent school violence. Thank you for joining us, and hopefully you learned something that you can apply and take some action. If you're feeling a little frustrated with what's going on in schools right now.

00:01:44 - Jenny GK
Right. And if this is your first time to listen to our show and you are looking for something upbeat, go back to episode 31. That's one of my favorites.

00:01:55 - Caitlin Kindred
31 is great, but so are the others, so we encourage you to go there. All right.

00:02:00 - Jenny GK
So with me is Caitlin. She's a former teacher who now works in educational technology. And sadly, that's an industry where a big part of it is developing devices to keep kids and teachers safe against violence.

00:02:16 - Caitlin Kindred
It's true. Yep. And I have to go light on this. The reason that we can do this episode and the reason that I can handle these heavy moments is because Jenny, my co host, is my rainbow infused space unicorn. And it's just. She just is. And she makes me feel better. She makes me laugh, and I. That's how I can do these. So thank you for being my rainbow infused space unicorn, Jenny.

00:02:45 - Jenny GK
I mean, I love the space part.

00:02:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:02:48 - Jenny GK
I wonder, is a space unicorn, like, used to space so it doesn't need a helmet or does it need a helmet? I don't know.

00:02:57 - Caitlin Kindred
I think that's open for interpretation. I think, however the image comes together in your mind is totally appropriate.

00:03:03 - Jenny GK
Okay. There's a space suit. Yes. Well, just because this episode is serious and it's tackling a topic that, unfortunately, we feel the need to address a second time. I do think that there's still humor and great things in our lives.

00:03:22 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:03:24 - Jenny GK
All right.

00:03:24 - Caitlin Kindred
Are we ready to move into some real talk? That was. We got some heavy stuff to talk about. I think so. Yeah. Let's do it again. As we mentioned at the top of the show, we're talking about ways to take action. If you're feeling upset about recent school violence, we have some really practical tips. I'm gonna really quickly give a shout out to a few of the places where I got this information. There's a teen vogue article about five ways to take action after a school shooting. Sandy Hook. Promise everytown support fund, protect our schools, make our schools safe, and march for our lives are all places where I got these resources. And we're gonna link all of these in the description today, and then they'll also be in the description on our website. So all of this will be available to you if you'd like to learn a little bit more and get some details. But we've got some good details here that will be helpful.

00:04:16 - Jenny GK
Thank you. I just want to say that hash blank strong or hashtag pray for blank, it's just not a solution. Okay. I understand that. Like, we've kind of developed a formula to respond to these types of events that, like, oh, you put a picture up and you hashtag it blank strong and then, like, you've fixed it. But I really think that's just part of the problem. Activism takes actual action, and sometimes that's gonna feel uncomfortable or controversial. On my own, I decided to do some research about prevention and what you can do outside of change gun regulations, because I know that this is a hotbed issue, and for some, it's extremely emotional, and I want to be able to answer the individuals who are very pro Second Amendment and do not want to see changes in gun regulations. That's not necessarily how I believe, but I understand that that can kind of end the conversation a lot of. So I did some research. What I found was, truly, if you are not in favor of changing our gun regulations right now, you have to put your money towards mental health care. It needs to be in both schools in the form of paying more counselors, not just paying counselors more money, but paying for more of them in each school. Switching to a four day school week so students have more time for reflection and working on themselves or youth programs in schools, and then mental health in the community helplines parenting support groups so that parents who are noticing about their children can come forward without embarrassment. And it needs to be more than just suicide prevention. They need more support. I know that you put together a list of different ways to take action. I just had to start with answering what I feel is the opposition and just saying that if, if gun control is going to be a showstopper for you, you have got to help prevent the mental health side of this.

00:06:36 - Caitlin Kindred
Agree. And there are plenty of people who are responsible gun owners who are not okay with what's happening.

00:06:43 - Jenny GK
I agree.

00:06:44 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm with you in that that's not necessarily like I'm more in favor of stricter gun control laws. But also I understand that there are a lot of responsible gun owners. I know several. And I'm not interested in doing things that completely polarize the entire country. I just feel like this is something that we should be able to come together on. And so if you're not interested in stricter gun control, then completely agree that mental health is the way to support what's going on here. So I've got six ways that you can take action. The first one is to contact your local legislators. You can make your voice heard by talking to your local lawmakers directly. Everytown, which is a gun safety advocacy group, again linked in the description for today, offers an easy method to contact your state senator. It's basically like find your state and click and then you do that.

00:07:47 - Jenny GK
That's amazing.

00:07:48 - Caitlin Kindred
Ulobby.com exactly. Ulobby.com dot includes a feature where you can find the contact numbers for your local representatives really easily. Don't just contact them once, contact them again and again and again. I highly recommend considering to make a phone call as opposed to an email or handwriting, some sort of communication in addition to any emails that you send. Emails have filters, and it is very possible that someone in your local legislator's office is filtering out those emails so that they're not a priority and they don't get seen. So yes, it's in writing that you've sent that, and that's a great thing. But also making additional contacting additional ways is important.

00:08:41 - Jenny GK
Right? Double it up.

00:08:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. When I've contacted legislators, I send an email and then I basically read the email verbatim in a phone call. And I also add in a little piece of spite into the, into the call. And I do, and I say things like, if you don't do take action on this, regardless of who's running up against you, I will throw every spare dollar I have towards your opponent.

00:09:06 - Jenny GK
Wow. Good for you.

00:09:08 - Caitlin Kindred
It's a little bit, again, it's a little bit spiteful, but I do follow through on that. So if I don't see action happening, I, you know, I do do that. So the other thing is, tick tock is a great resource for this, but there are plenty of others you can learn about how much money is connected between the NRA and certain politicians. You can find that information out. It's public information.

00:09:33 - Jenny GK
Yeah. Has to be. That's.

00:09:35 - Caitlin Kindred
That's right.

00:09:36 - Jenny GK
Drama that's going down right now is that I. There has been some unpublicized amounts, and that's not legal.

00:09:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. So all of that, when you contact your local legislators, you can say things like, I know that you get this much money from the NRA. I know that's why you're not making changes. It's. It is more impactful when you provide a detail like that. So that's one thing you can do is contact them and give them all that information and let them know that you're not happy. Right. Because technically, remember, they are supposed to work for you. I know it feels like that they don't. I understand that completely, but they do. So, keeping that in mind, another thing you can do, item two, you can help the victims and their families financially or by any other means that they request. After school shootings, there are often fundraisers online to help victims and their families. You know, we saw this with Rob elementary in Uvaldeh. There was a whole fund put together by a local bank in town there, and people were contributing left and right. We've seen it in other ways. So that is, if there is like a GoFundme or something that got set up, you can definitely support in that way if you feel like contributing in that manner. And it's something that you can do.

00:10:52 - Jenny GK
And remember that the victims are not just those who were killed.

00:10:59 - Caitlin Kindred
Right? Right.

00:11:00 - Jenny GK
That, to me, is part of this debate that's really, really challenging, is also the victim is the 14 year old boy who watched this happen in his school, 100%, or the four year old who's afraid to go to kindergarten next year. Like, all of these things, all of these people, they're all affected by something like this.

00:11:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Their families, the families of the victims, but also the families of the children who are now terrified to go to school. I recently saw a picture of a bunch of students on a bus crying up against the windows. Like, that was one of the moments that I started crying. I've cried a lot about these school shootings and each one feels closer and closer and closer. And I. And you know, this. I do have a personal connection to a recent school shooting that really kind of tore me up. And the pictures that I'm seeing are just absolutely devastating. And I. There are more victims than just the people who, unfortunately, are tragically taken from us and their families. This affects entire communities. And also just teachers all over the place are really feeling affected by all of this. So that's just something to think about. The third thing you can do is learn more about gun violence. You can educate yourself about what gun violence in general actually is, what it looks like, and how it goes beyond just the mass shooting context. I think we think about that a lot in terms of people things, but there are other definitions that need to be aware of. So think about how gun violence affects women. According to every town, when a gun is present in a domestic violence setting, which is something that we know disproportionately affects women, a woman is five more times likely to be killed in that situation. Gun violence affects. I know it's huge. Gun violence affects people of color disproportionately. We know that, in particular, black teens have been calling for gun reform for years and years. You can know the signs of potential gun violence. Sandy Hook promise has evidence based programs to teach people to know the signs. And that's one of their campaigns, is know the signs and how to act to help prevent gun violence. If you see these sort of behaviors and you can, you know, take actions to prevent potential problems, that's a lot to learn to. But even taking on one of those things will help you take action. I. There's too much that will make you upset to not start taking action. Right.

00:13:48 - Jenny GK
But also, learning in itself is an action, and learning for learning sake, that's doing something.

00:13:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Absolutely true. You can. A fourth thing you can do is advocate for policy change. This is something that you and I typically don't discuss this sort of thing on this show, but if you feel so moved, you can do things to make change. One of them, the first one, the most important one, is register to vote. If you're not registered, and if you are registered and you're not using that power, you need to start using it. Typically, local elections get ignored. Don't ignore local elections, because those are the ones that really impact you directly and immediately. People pay more attention in nationwide elections or statewide elections, but your local ones matter just as much. If you're upset by what is happening with the school board, go to the local election and make change. There if you're upset with what's happening with your city taxes, you need to vote in your local elections. If you're upset about what's happening in the police realm in your city, you need to vote in local elections. So you need to make sure you're registered to vote, and you need to actually take action when it's time to vote.

00:15:07 - Jenny GK
Yeah, you do. But like you said, that's not just connected to safety or school violence concerns. That's, in general, knowing what's going on in your neighborhood, right?

00:15:19 - Caitlin Kindred
Absolutely. So other policy changes you can advocate for. You can advocate for stopping assault weapon sales. You can advocate for background checks on gun sales. You can advocate for mandatory policies on safe gun storage. One thing that I've recently learned is that you can advocate for extreme risk protection orders. I did not know this was a thing.

00:15:45 - Jenny GK
No, I didn't either.

00:15:47 - Caitlin Kindred
When someone is an adult, I know this in a different context. Right. Like, when someone is an adult, like, legally an adulthood, you can't. If you're their parent, you can't do things that might protect them from themselves. Right. So, like, if you know that your child needs mental health support, you can't check them into a facility because they are legally adult and they can take care of themselves. Right. I'm putting air quotes around that take care of themselves. Right. But there are things, like, there are things that you can do to try and facilitate additional support in a mental health realm, this is sort of similar to that. So in an extreme risk protection order, what's going on is basically, in most instances of gun violence, that the individual who is committing that violence showed signs that they were at risk of hurting themselves or hurting others. A lot of the times after some sort of shooting incident, we'll hear stories from friends and family members about signs that the shooter exhibited. Right, right. So these red flags, if you know them, you can stop them. Right. So an extreme risk protection order, it's an ERPO, empowers family members and law enforcement to prevent gun violence and gun related suicides by petitioning a court to temporarily separate an at risk individual from firearms. This is a civil proceeding, it's not a criminal proceeding. And you're protecting their second Amendment right while also protecting the people who might be impacted by the person using that firearm. So it is a thing you can do. Again, knowing the signs and then being able to take action on those signs is a big deal. So that's. I didn't know that was a thing. But that is something that you can advocate for, is for states to have Erpos in place.

00:17:45 - Jenny GK
And that goes back to that piece I talked about at the beginning about offering parental support. It is not easy to recognize these things in your child or in your child's friends. We need to know that it's safe to do that.

00:18:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Agree. Another policy change that you can advocate for in your state is Alyssa's law. Alyssa's law came out of the parkland shooting at Marjory Stillman Douglas High School. It's legislation related to the issue of law enforcement response time when a life threatening emergency occurs. Alyssa O'Hadeff was one of the victims of the Marjorie Stoneman shooting. She could have survived, had help gotten to her in time, and it didn't. Her mother started make our school safe. Her name is Lori Al Hadduff, and she is a big advocate of these policies that make sure that there's direct communication between educators and law enforcement. So basically, the law calls for installation of silent panic alarms that are directly linked to law enforcement so that when there's an emergency, they are notified immediately. It's a very, very important thing to be thinking about. And I could go on a whole tangent here, but I'm not going to do that.

00:19:03 - Jenny GK
But that seems like also another change that you can make if gun reform is not something you're interested in.

00:19:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Exactly. You can advocate for these sorts of programs. It's unfortunate that these are needed, however.

00:19:16 - Jenny GK
Right.

00:19:18 - Caitlin Kindred
Don't hear what I raise technology. Right.

00:19:19 - Jenny GK
Like, I did this research because I wanted to be able to know what my opposition would do.

00:19:25 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:19:26 - Jenny GK
Because I as a teacher, am in favor of changing the story.

00:19:34 - Speaker A
Right.

00:19:35 - Jenny GK
And I understand that that's going to require legislation.

00:19:39 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. I do have information about particular technology that can be very helpful here. If you would like to know that information, please do send me a message and I will send you a link of something that I think is very powerful that you can use. I would also say another thing that you can advocate for is actual policy change in your school district. Again, local elections matter, but this is when, if you are a parent with a loud voice, this will help learn what the safety policies are in place in your district and in your school. Ask those questions. Right. And when you learn what they are, if you happen to see some sort of interaction where they are not used, you need to question them. Here's what I mean. If you know your school, your child's school has a system in place where you are supposed to sign in and then sign out when you go into the school and when you leave, if you are allowed to leave or allowed to enter without signing in or out. You need to say, is there a reason that I wasn't a made to do Xyz? Right.

00:20:50 - Jenny GK
Right.

00:20:50 - Caitlin Kindred
You need to make sure that you question it, because there are several parents I've interacted with who get upset when they have to go into a building and sign their child out. Those safety policies are in place for a reason. Okay. By violating them, there's a loophole there that can be taken advantage of, and you need to question it. You need to make sure you are following all the school safety policies. And when they are not used in front of you, you need to speak up.

00:21:17 - Jenny GK
Right. To me. Also. That means that you need to adhere.

00:21:22 - Caitlin Kindred
To these policies 100%.

00:21:25 - Jenny GK
So if your school has a locking front door, don't hold it open for someone else.

00:21:31 - Caitlin Kindred
Nope. Nope.

00:21:33 - Jenny GK
Because not only do you need to question when they're not being used properly, you need to adhere to them and not fight with them. The reason that those policies exist is because that is the school's attempt at keeping children safe.

00:21:48 - Caitlin Kindred
The other thing that you can do within your school district, Alissa's law is coming for many, many, many states. The make our school safe organization is advocating for this to be a nationwide policy. It's already in effect in Florida, in New York, and it's coming in Texas. It's like on the docket. You can ask, what are the policies that you have that will put you in compliance with Alissa's law at the district level? And they should know what you're talking about. It's another way to just within your school district ask those questions. Okay. A fifth thing you can do to take action is contribute to organizations doing the work. Now, not everyone has time to do these things that we've listed so far. Right, right. But some people who are lacking in time are not lacking in cash. And I understand that you might be lacking in both. Completely get that. I have been there and I am still there, so I get it. That said, they will use every nickel and dime that you send. So I've got a bunch of organizations again, I've already mentioned them once, but I'm going to say them again here. Every town, protect our schools. Sandy Hook promise, make our schools safe and march for our lives are all excellent organizations that are actually doing the work. With these advocacy changes that we've talked about so far. There are other ways to give that don't involve cash. Many of them have hashtags or volunteer opportunities and other meaningful ways to contribute that are listed on their websites. Again, you can find those in the show description for today. And the last thing that you can do, and this is one that I didn't see in a lot of places, but I did find it in one resource as I was researching for this. Don't stop talking about it.

00:23:32 - Jenny GK
Right.

00:23:32 - Caitlin Kindred
I know it's sad and it's depressing and nobody wants to think about these things, but the reason that we are so numb to it is because it keeps happening and we stop talking about it. And yes, it becomes a hot topic immediately after a school shooting, but then, or after some other mass killing. You know, there's that concert in, in Vegas. Like, all of it becomes a huge deal in those situations. I understand that. But then a few days later, people have moved on.

00:24:06 - Jenny GK
Right, right. That's kind of where my comments about the tweeting came from. Right? Like hashtag whoever strong. Yeah, it's cool. But, you know, you tweet that out once the next day and then you don't talk about it again. This needs to be something that's front of mind.

00:24:24 - Caitlin Kindred
That's where if you are going to tweet about it and you are going to use hashtags, that's where you can keep the conversation going. Right. Keep tweeting about it. Don't just do it once.

00:24:34 - Jenny GK
Exactly. Exactly.

00:24:36 - Caitlin Kindred
One time. Changing the color of your profile. Right. Include a link to an advocacy group or include a link to a fund. Do something like that. And don't stop talking about it. Because, and this is gonna be my final thought on this, but it's important that we continue to fight for this, not just in the immediate, you know, right after this sort of thing happens, but just keep going. We can make changes if we just keep pushing it. Your legislators, they have to listen to you. They have to, because if you, if they don't, you don't vote for them. That's how that works. So it's the only way that we're gonna see any real change, any real progress, is if you continue to make your voices heard. And you need to be louder than the people who don't seem to have empathy for these sorts of situations and for the people who are left trying to pick up the pieces of their lives after this kind of thing happens. You need to be louder than them. Those are my six things. I'm going to recap them real quick here. So the first thing that you can do to advocate or to make change, to take action after this is contact your local legislatures. You can help the victims and their families financially. You can learn more about gun violence, you can advocate for policy changes, you can contribute to organizations doing the work, and please don't stop talking about it. So my call to action for this episode is going to be check out one of the links in the show description and see if there's something that you can do right now.

00:26:15 - Jenny GK
Right. And don't let politics get in the way of keeping our schools safe.

00:26:21 - Caitlin Kindred
Absolutely true.

00:26:23 - Jenny GK
It doesn't matter where you land on the political spectrum, everyone is in favor of children coming home.

00:26:28 - Caitlin Kindred
At the end of the day, every single person wants that. Okay, make good choices and let's work together to make schools a safe place.

00:26:35 - Jenny GK
Bye.