00:00:02 - Jenny GK
It's season four, Tuesday.

00:00:04 - Caitlin Kindred
Yay. Oh, my goodness. Season four. Senior year quattro. Yep, gonna be just like senior year. No, I can't say that line yet. Cause we're not there. We're not there. Next season, I'm gonna say it. Okay, guys, we're so glad you're here. It's a new season for us. It's a new school year for Jenny and for our kids and yours. And that means the return of the after school meltdown. Yay. So we're talking about what causes it, what you can do to calm everyone down and hopefully prevent them altogether. Yay. You're here. Welcome to how to be a grown up with CK and GK. Let's get started.

00:01:00 - Jenny GK
But before we do that, with me today is Caitlin. But we'll call her the magician. Cause when she enters a room, everyone else just disappears.

00:01:09 - Caitlin Kindred
Aw. Well, that's Jenny. She's starting a new school year as a assistant principal, which is so fancy. She's smart as a whip, cool under pressure, just like Ann Perkins. That's my girl. Go, Jenny.

00:01:26 - Jenny GK
Yay.

00:01:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Proud of you.

00:01:28 - Jenny GK
Thanks.

00:01:29 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm excited. I'm gonna give a shout out today to us because we're starting our season four. And in the immortal words of snoop, I'd like to thank me for believing in me.

00:01:45 - Jenny GK
Oh, my gosh. That's amazing. Have you seen this meme that says he's America's grandpa?

00:01:50 - Caitlin Kindred
He's the best. We're gonna get into the memes later because I can't get enough of them. But the one where he's got his eyes all big and he's got the glasses up, and he's. And everyone's using it for, like, when I learn all these.

00:02:03 - Jenny GK
Yes, yes.

00:02:04 - Caitlin Kindred
I saw another one that was like, I bet the bald eagle didn't realize it was gonna be beat out for America's mascot by snoop. So good.

00:02:15 - Jenny GK
That is good. That is good. That is good.

00:02:17 - Caitlin Kindred
So awesome.

00:02:18 - Jenny GK
All right, so today we are talking about that after school meltdown. Pick up the kids. You're so excited. And then the evening collapses.

00:02:29 - Caitlin Kindred
The evening collapse. The witching hour, all of those things. So our sources for today's episode are. After stool restraint collapse. After stool. After school restraint collapse is a real thing. Here's how to deal with it by calling Seto for todaysparent.com after school restraint collapse, why kids fall apart at home and what to do about it by Nicole Fabian Weber for care.com. and this simple habit solved. My son's afterschool restraint collapse by Jenna Steller for motherly. So a lot of this, I think, personally, comes from managing your expectations as a parenthood about what's supposed to happen after school. I think a lot of us have that leave it to Beaver mindset when it comes to what's supposed to happen after school. Right? So for me, and I'm gonna generalize here, you as a parent, you want that big, happy hug when your kid gets off the bus and they just sort of stare at you. Or you want that sweet, information packed conversation about the school day, and instead you get, yeah, school was good.

00:03:39 - Jenny GK
How's your day?

00:03:39 - Caitlin Kindred
Fine. It was fine. And by the way, we did talk about kid conversation starters way, way back in season three, in episode 90. So if you want kid combo starters that are better than, you know, how was school? You can go back and listen to those. But, you know, going back to your expectations, you might want that. Like ants on a log, beautiful after school snack. And you put it all out, and instead you get the, oh, my God, this is not what I wanted, or, this water is too cold, or it's not cold enough, or, I didn't want water, even though that's what they asked.

00:04:11 - Jenny GK
For yesterday or this morning.

00:04:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Lord help us.

00:04:14 - Jenny GK
That's my favorite. Will you bring this for me as an after school snack? And then when I bring it, that's not what I wanted.

00:04:19 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes. Okay.

00:04:21 - Jenny GK
Okay.

00:04:22 - Caitlin Kindred
So just understand, like, your expectations are one part, but managing that meltdown is the other.

00:04:30 - Jenny GK
Okay, so here's the thing. Like, this meltdown is, like, a real phenomenon.

00:04:32 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, yeah.

00:04:33 - Jenny GK
This is not something that, like, only you and I have experienced. This is so real that psychologists have named it.

00:04:39 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes. And I have to say this. This is also not, like, the phenomenon that only teachers, like, really get, which is the full moon phenomenon. Right. This is not where nobody believes that full moon affects behavior until they actually become a teacher. And then they're, like, looking at their calendars and going, oh, my gosh, full moon. Oh, that's, like. This is actually scientifically studied and experienced by everyone who has school age children. Right. There you go.

00:05:06 - Jenny GK
Okay, so Andrea Lowen Nair, she's a counselor. She coined this term after school restraint collapse. And basically, that's fancy psychology talk for your kid. Loses their mind after school.

00:05:21 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:05:22 - Jenny GK
But there's, like, a reason why, okay. They have been holding it together all day long, and they need to decompress. They've been keeping their emotions in check and their body, and now they want to release all these emotions when they get to their safe place. But they don't know that they need to do this, and they don't know how either.

00:05:45 - Caitlin Kindred
That's interesting, because I. I've always felt like they don't know how to do it. But you just added in this other piece, they don't know that they need to do it.

00:05:54 - Jenny GK
Right.

00:05:54 - Caitlin Kindred
As adults, we're all like, oh, we just need to decompress. But, like, so do they.

00:05:58 - Jenny GK
They do. But they don't even know that about themselves yet.

00:06:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Right, exactly. Okay. That's helpful for my kid. He could be tired and or overstimulated. Overstimulation meltdown is a very real thing in my house. It's a. It happens to me.

00:06:13 - Jenny GK
Oh. It's just not just my children.

00:06:15 - Caitlin Kindred
No. I remember before I knew for sure that I had adhd, I would have. I would feel like I was in a good mood, and then a kid would come up to me and ask me a question. I'd be prepared to answer that question. Then another kid would, like, come and interrupt me right in the middle, and I would all of a sudden be, like. And completely freak out and not be in a good mood anymore and, like, snap at both of them. Right. And that's just the overstimulation piece. So that's a thing that happens, but that's not usually the only reason why this happens. I just learned about this as we were researching. When your kids need to release emotions at school, you weren't there to support that release of emotions at school because they were at school, and you were not. Right. So now that you're back together, they're experiencing what's called defensive detachment.

00:07:00 - Jenny GK
Ooh.

00:07:01 - Caitlin Kindred
I didn't know what this was. So the best way to explain it is with a scenario, okay. It's like when a parent and child reunite after the child has gone missing in a grocery store. The parent has a few seconds of clutching relief as they hug their child, and then, bam. All of a sudden, it's, you left me when you shouldn't have, and you are admonishing and kind of hollering at your kid, who is now found that you just. You know what I mean? Like, you're upset with them for leaving, so you kind of give some backlash here. That's really what's happening with this emotional release. At the same time is, like, they needed you. You weren't there. So now you're getting in trouble because you weren't there. So there's all of this other stuff going on. It's not just holding it together all day long, it's holding it together and not having a safe person to release it to, it's overtired, it's overstimulated, and it's all coming together in one big, as you said, restraint collapse.

00:07:59 - Jenny GK
But this isn't like a tantrum.

00:08:01 - Caitlin Kindred
No, it's not a tantrum, okay? It's not. It's a complete collapse. It's a meltdown. It's because there's a. So overwhelmed that they really just can't keep it all together anymore.

00:08:12 - Jenny GK
Okay, so another clinical psychologist, I said, like, this is, like, for real studied, which I thought was pretty validating for me.

00:08:20 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, yeah, right.

00:08:21 - Jenny GK
Like, I remember when Abby started full day preschool, I was like, oh, you know, I just need to give her, like, six weeks, and she'll stop crying on the way home. She'll stop falling asleep. We were at Thanksgiving before. She didn't fall asleep on the way home every day.

00:08:38 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. And I remember talking to you about this because my child at the time, and obviously not at the time, he's still much younger than Abby. Right, right. But, like, at the time, he was brand new to full day daycare, and I remember being like, wait, is this, like, a normal thing? Am I gonna have to, like, try to keep him awake from the dreaded 15 minutes nap on the way home at 530 every day? Because that's not gonna work for us. And you were like, no, no, this is real.

00:09:06 - Jenny GK
Yep.

00:09:07 - Caitlin Kindred
It'll. It'll pass, but you have to work your way through it.

00:09:10 - Jenny GK
Right? So another clinical psychologist, her name is Jennifer Weber. This is what she said. Attending, focusing, and behaving all day at school takes a tremendous amount of both physical and emotional energy for some kids, which can leave them exhausted and dysregulated. Home is often the safe haven where children can feel that they can discharge.

00:09:34 - Caitlin Kindred
Their excess energy, which means get ready, parents, because it's coming back on you.

00:09:39 - Jenny GK
The discharge is happening. Okay, so then we have Suzanne Diggs White, who is another clinical counselor, and she says schools are highly procedural, and there's so many rules that kids have to follow. They have to sit down when they're told. They have to line up and stay in line. They have to stop activities when they're told, so on, so on, and so on. So when the school day ends, all that pent up energy that kids have been using to keep themselves in check can turn into. And she says, time bombs, ready to explode as soon as the constraints are removed.

00:10:09 - Caitlin Kindred
If that doesn't feel real, I don't know what does. Little time bombs, where you're walking on eggshells. When? When, when. There it is.

00:10:18 - Jenny GK
And the deal is, like, I have been in a lot of school environments, and I know you have, too. I have done, like, very progressive education where there's very few restraints, and I have done very traditional dust and rose education, but the result is the same. The kids have to match the environment, whatever it is. And at the end of the day, they have this pent up energy that they need to release. Okay, so here's the deal. This show is supposed to help you do you better, right? So we can talk about these meltdowns all day long and say, look, they're real, but that doesn't help you at all. Here.

00:10:57 - Caitlin Kindred
Validates, but that's it.

00:10:59 - Jenny GK
They suck. Sorry.

00:11:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Bye.

00:11:03 - Jenny GK
Show's done. So from this research that we've done, here are some things that you can do.

00:11:08 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:11:08 - Jenny GK
Okay. Number one, meet their biological needs. First, food, water, and rest. And, yeah, the snack that you brought might not be the right snack. And sometimes you have to play that snack game, and sometimes you just say, nope, this is what there is. I'm sorry, but the thing that was really interesting to me was the rest part, because rest for adults is often quiet time, soft music, maybe zoning out in front of the tv. But surprisingly for these young kids, rest can be free. Play outside.

00:11:39 - Caitlin Kindred
Ooh, smart.

00:11:40 - Jenny GK
She is resting her mind by allowing her body to move freely without that restraint piece.

00:11:45 - Caitlin Kindred
Love it.

00:11:46 - Jenny GK
Right? So, like, stop at a playground on the way home and say, yep, we're just gonna play for five minutes. Say, when we get home, I want you to go outside, or, you know, meet them at the bus stop and race each other home, whatever it is, allowing some playtime.

00:12:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Can I go back to the snack thing real quick?

00:12:03 - Jenny GK
Yes.

00:12:04 - Caitlin Kindred
Can I make a suggestion?

00:12:05 - Jenny GK
Yes.

00:12:06 - Caitlin Kindred
You can put the snack out, the adorable aunts on a log thing, or you put together a spot in the house where the snacks are, and you're okay with everything in this snack section being eaten, they can choose one or two things, and then that way, like, they just know, like, you have my permission.

00:12:23 - Jenny GK
You have options, right, to go to the.

00:12:25 - Caitlin Kindred
Or if you don't want them in the pantry, you just put that all in a snack tray. You put the tray out, you say, choose two things and let them go, and they choose what they want, and then you're not having the snack bite every day. Just. Just amazing.

00:12:36 - Jenny GK
That's good. I like it.

00:12:38 - Caitlin Kindred
There you go.

00:12:38 - Jenny GK
Anyway, we have trained kit to say, may I know what my snack options are? Because he used to yell, what's my snack today. And it's like, may I know what my snack options are?

00:12:50 - Caitlin Kindred
I love that. So smart. Okay, biological needs. We got it.

00:12:53 - Jenny GK
Okay. Biological needs, check. Next is let it happen.

00:12:57 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, that hurts my heart.

00:13:00 - Jenny GK
Yeah. This is just like we learned in the deeply feeling kids episode. You can just sit next to your child as they release. But sometimes trying to help escalates the whole thing.

00:13:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Mm hmm.

00:13:12 - Jenny GK
You can take my word for it, because this is an area of growth for me as a parent that I'm, like, trying to get in there or trying to stop it, and instead, I just. You just need to let it happen.

00:13:24 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:13:24 - Jenny GK
But when you let it happen, you need to set some boundaries. So here is what that looks like, practically. You start by saying, I understand that you need to get these feelings out now. This conversation should not happen at the time that it's happening. This conversation happens at a totally different time, like, maybe even a not school day. Okay. Give them a safe place and a time limit. I'm going to set a timer for 20 minutes. You can be in your room, but when the timer goes off, I'm hoping we can enjoy the rest of our evening. Okay, here's the hardest part. And this is like, thanks, doctor Becky, as I roll my eyes at her, because I told you so, and I can't stand it when other people are right. You can't process the meltdown afterward.

00:14:07 - Caitlin Kindred
No. You have to let it happen and then move on.

00:14:10 - Jenny GK
Literally move on, period. That's it. You gave them the 20 minutes. You said they could be in the room. You don't get to talk about it. They did exactly what you said they could do.

00:14:21 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. And this is probably not the time to do the, like, thumbs up, thumbs middle, thumbs down.

00:14:26 - Jenny GK
No, no, no.

00:14:26 - Caitlin Kindred
This is.

00:14:27 - Jenny GK
I told you that you could have 20 minutes to cry and scream in your room, and so you did.

00:14:30 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:14:31 - Jenny GK
And the timer went. You pulled yourself together. High five. Let's move on.

00:14:35 - Caitlin Kindred
And remember, it's not the same kind of meltdown.

00:14:37 - Jenny GK
Right.

00:14:37 - Caitlin Kindred
It's a. It's a completely different meltdown. So it's just not the. Right. It's not appropriate for that. So don't use it there.

00:14:43 - Jenny GK
Okay, here's another one. Set up another debrief time. Okay. So you have these expectations. You have the ants on the log or the June cleaver moment in your head.

00:14:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:14:56 - Jenny GK
You want to hear about their day, and they want to talk about it eventually. So set up another time. Play a game at dinner like we do. High low, buffalo at the table. It's structured, it's low risk, it's predictable. You get to decide what your high, low and buffalo are. So rather than asking a probing question, I'm just asking what was the best part, the worst part, and the most surprising part of your day. They get to decide what they want to share. I'm not going to go back and watch the footage and say, actually, I think the best part of your day was XDev. Okay. You could do break it down at bath time.

00:15:29 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, yeah, right. That's a good time.

00:15:31 - Jenny GK
There's another task going on here. Something else is happening, and then you're just casually having a conversation. Maybe you have a cuddle chat at bedtime. You know, this is when all the details come out real.

00:15:42 - Caitlin Kindred
Or it's like, mom, can we talk about my Halloween costume in May?

00:15:45 - Jenny GK
Right. Just.

00:15:46 - Caitlin Kindred
But either way, I still get to learn. I get an insight. Right?

00:15:49 - Jenny GK
And if this is what's gonna work for your family, just back bedtime up ten minutes or three. Whatever. Starting whatever. Yeah.

00:15:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Has ADHD.

00:15:57 - Jenny GK
Okay, now for the older kids, build in like a post homework talk time. Okay? It's snack, it's rest, it's homework, it's five questions and then it's dinner. And it's the same every evening as well as we can hold it together. Okay. But just you need to set a clear expectation of what you desire and explain why you want to know about their day. Okay. Especially with older kids, if you're perceived as just curious or even nosy, it's not as powerful as if they know that you miss them during the day and you just hear about what they're doing.

00:16:32 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:16:33 - Jenny GK
And you have to share about your day, too.

00:16:36 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, that's a good point. We model the behavior we wish to see. You're right. Yeah, I like that.

00:16:42 - Jenny GK
It's give and take. Okay. And here's my last one.

00:16:44 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:16:45 - Jenny GK
Know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Okay. The uncontrolled, complete meltdown type of release should slow down or maybe even stop around second ish grade. Okay, now this is like people telling me that you don't have morning sickness after your first trimester, okay?

00:17:04 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:17:05 - Jenny GK
People throw up the day that their baby is born. Right? So do not say that like, oh, my kid is in second grade, so everything's fine. Your kid might be in fifth grade before they start to realize how they want to decompress, other than having this restraint collapse. So don't hold me to, oh, my kid's in second grade. They're eight years old. This should be fine. Like, it might not be that way. Right, right. It just might not be that way. I know. For Kit, it's probably not gonna be.

00:17:30 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. And we're about to start third grade, and I don't know. I don't know how it's gonna go this year, but I know that I want to be prepared.

00:17:39 - Jenny GK
Right, right. But the decompression period is still going to be there. It's just going to look different as kids get older. Okay, so it might be that there's no talking on the way home from school, or this kid wants 15 minutes of screen time before engaging with any other humans. Or in my daughter's case, she needs a conversation that has nothing to do with the school day before we dive into processing school.

00:18:08 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:18:09 - Jenny GK
I have to show her that I am more interested in her as a person than in her day or her as a student.

00:18:19 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:18:19 - Jenny GK
Right, right. So we typically put on the radio and we talk about the music or the commercials. Sometimes we plan out what our evening's gonna look like. Kind of looking forward rather than looking back.

00:18:30 - Caitlin Kindred
I like that. That's a good idea.

00:18:31 - Jenny GK
Okay, so here we go. What can you do? Meet their biological needs first. Let it happen, but let it happen within safe boundaries. And then set up another debrief time after it happens.

00:18:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Yep.

00:18:44 - Jenny GK
And then remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

00:18:48 - Caitlin Kindred
I found a quote about this that I wanted to share because it made a big difference to me. And it's by. It's Jenna Steller for motherly. And she says. But once I was able to let go of my expectations, I was able to recognize that simply being with my son was what he needed. Sitting together was enough. He still felt loved, and he still knew I missed him. He valued that time of connecting. It just looked different and sounded quieter than I expected. Phew, mate. So sweet.

00:19:15 - Jenny GK
There's nothing else to say.

00:19:17 - Caitlin Kindred
No. Let's take a quick break. For links to resources mentioned in this episode, head on over to CK & GK Podcast.com blog to find everything you need and be sure to follow us on social media. Head over to your favorite social media network and find us at CK & GK Podcast. And now back to the show.

00:19:37 - Jenny GK
Okay, we're back.

00:19:40 - Caitlin Kindred
We are.

00:19:41 - Jenny GK
And we're gonna talk about our obsessions. And I'm gonna go first.

00:19:44 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:19:45 - Jenny GK
Okay, so my current obsession right now is revisiting my american sign language. I studied it right after college for a while. But like any skill, if you don't use it, you lose it. But my high school ASL teacher at my school has recently become one of my very favorite people. Present company excluded, of course, obviously. But I want to spend more time talking to Kurt without a translator. So I am back to the basics. I dug out my classic book signing. Naturally, anyone who's learned ASL knows this is, like, the standard for curriculum. But in one of our conversations recently, he told me a really alarming statistic. And I'm sorry, but, like, I got a little judgy about this. So, listeners, if this is you, I apologize for the side eye that I'm giving, but he told me that about 90 ish percent of 90 ish percent of deaf children are born to hearing parents.

00:20:44 - Caitlin Kindred
90.

00:20:44 - Jenny GK
90. About 90 of those hearing parents who have a deaf child. Get ready. Like, put your big girl pants on.

00:20:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, no.

00:20:56 - Jenny GK
70% of the hearing parents who have a deaf child do not learn to sign.

00:21:04 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm sorry.

00:21:06 - Jenny GK
Okay. Thank you both.

00:21:07 - Caitlin Kindred
Statistics are staggering.

00:21:08 - Jenny GK
You said 99.

00:21:10 - Caitlin Kindred
You said 90. Am I instantly. I mean, I interrupted you with, like, 90. Like, where are you going with this? Like, not. Holy smokes. Okay, but also, I'm sorry, 70%.

00:21:21 - Jenny GK
My kid was on the floor, and he's just looking at me. He's like, I know, right? I know, right? I'm just like, what? Because I know. I know.

00:21:28 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, you are not the only one given the side eye right now.

00:21:31 - Jenny GK
Yeah.

00:21:33 - Caitlin Kindred
Here's what we're not gonna do. We're not. We are not gonna do that to our child. We are not doing that to our child. I cannot.

00:21:41 - Jenny GK
And I understand. Like, I do not have a deaf child, right? Like, my children speak English. Like, I speak English, but I can't imagine not learning to speak my child's language.

00:21:54 - Caitlin Kindred
Can you imagine how lonely that must be for that child to have your parents? Not. I can't.

00:21:59 - Jenny GK
Or for you as a parent. I want to talk to my child.

00:22:05 - Caitlin Kindred
And this, we also don't know what. By what other means of communication there may be. Maybe. Maybe it's. Maybe they're reading lips or something, you know? We don't know. But I also. ASL is so empowering to the deaf community. I can't imagine not using that with your child. I just can't imagine it. I want to learn it, and I don't.

00:22:27 - Jenny GK
It's funny. He just looked at me. He's like, yeah, it's true. And I'm like, no, it's not. No, it's not. He's like, no, it is. It is. I know it's true. Yep.

00:22:35 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm also judging. Don't care. I'm not apologizing for my judgment.

00:22:39 - Jenny GK
Shout out to Kurt.

00:22:40 - Caitlin Kindred
Be the person who communicates with our child. Okay, here's my obsession. We've talked about this before because it has been four years since we've been doing this show, and we know that I'm obsessed with the Olympics. And last Olympics, that was Tokyo, supposed to be in 2020, actually happened in 2021. I was obsessed, and I'm still obsessed at the time of this recording. The Olympics are on, and I cannot stop watching. The amount of wholesome content coming out of this is insane. We got snoop, right? America's grandpa's grandpa and flava flavor. Flava flav, the polo team. Women's polo team, for the next five years. He's got a five year contract. And I don't know if you heard this, but one of the track and field athletes, and I forget her name. She's a fields athlete, primarily. I believe she, like, throws discus or something. Was like, my school is paying football players enough to buy cars and stuff. Meanwhile, I can't pay rent, and I'm an Olympic athlete, and they're just sitting at home right now. So what's that about? And flavor Flav chimes in and says, oh, girl, I got you. Dm me, and I'll make sure that your rent is paid. And then Alex Ohani. Oh, my. I suppose I am saying his name wrong. The guy who's married to Serena Williams.

00:23:59 - Jenny GK
Okay.

00:23:59 - Caitlin Kindred
Alex Ohanian, I think is his name, is how you say it. Anyway. He was like, oh, yeah, let's flip.

00:24:04 - Jenny GK
The script a little bit and just say, mister Serena Williams.

00:24:08 - Caitlin Kindred
Well, he's famous in his own right. He did something really.

00:24:10 - Jenny GK
No, I'm just saying every once in a while.

00:24:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:24:11 - Jenny GK
I'm nice to say, like, you know.

00:24:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Amal Clooney and not George, right? I got you. Anyway, he was like, hey, Flava Flav, let me know. I'll go, habs. He's in on that with you more. So now her rent is covered, right? So she can focus on the Olympics. So that's great. Also, pommel horse guy Steve something that I can't say his last name with an N. Precious, precious boy. And he. What was the meme that I saw? He pummeled the mess out of that horse. So great. All of the amazing women of the Olympics, right? Katie Ledecky, Kate Douglas, Simone Miles. The star styles. Here are women of them. They are killing it. The meme I saw, and I can't remember the creator, but I believe her name was Eileen. Mary O'Connell. If I'm associating it with the right person, she goes, my hobbies include watching the Olympics on my big screen while looking at the memes about the Olympics on my little screen. The memes coming out of this are top tier. We've got LeBron James in crossing the duly with looking like George Washington.

00:25:24 - Jenny GK
Have you seen the one where someone, like, compares him to George Washington? And he's like, first he played for the Cavs, then he went to South Beach. George Washington started with the English, now he's american. And it just shows you that Michael Jordan never turned his back on anyone.

00:25:45 - Caitlin Kindred
The content is so good. Like, I am all in. And like, there are so many times where I'm like, this country needs to fix this and this and this and this. And now I'm at the point where I'm like, if you don't cancel work for the next two weeks, it's un american. Because I need to sit here, watch my team and cheer for ping pong. Like, I need to do this right now. I've always been a ping pong fan. Like, three on three basketball. Bring it on. Like, I've never watched before. Yes, I will support that.

00:26:24 - Jenny GK
So I saw one recently that was like, the guy making up Olympic sports. He's like, this will be the pinnacle of human endeavor. Running, jumping, swimming, underwater dancing, balancing a ball. It's like, yeah, some of these sports.

00:26:46 - Caitlin Kindred
Rhythmic gymnastics is the one that has the balancing the ball, like, right. These are all or the other content that I cannot get enough of right now. First of all, there's the guy who, like, walks across his, like, farm fence and pretends to do the balance beam, which is just hysterical. But the other ones are like, I regret to inform you that I did not go.

00:27:04 - Jenny GK
I did not go.

00:27:07 - Caitlin Kindred
And it's these sweet gymnasts who, like, spin around. They try to do that, like, wolf turn, and then they just completely tank and fall to, oh, no.

00:27:15 - Jenny GK
Or I saw one where the girl was, like, gonna do a backwards flip dive.

00:27:21 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, no, no, no.

00:27:23 - Jenny GK
And she just lands flat on her back. And it's like, clear that this was not competition. This was, like, at someone's pool, just.

00:27:33 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, man, it's some of the funniest stuff, but it's all so wholesome. There's nothing mean coming out about this. It's just really good things. And there's been some controversies because there's no Olympics that isn't without controversy, of course. And at the same time, I've seen so many amazing things like athletes cheering on other countries who are supposed to be their rivals. And just, like, I love it. And Olympics all the time in my house. All the time.

00:28:01 - Jenny GK
I love it. Okay, so, like, as that was your obsession, it also, like, qualifies as a gem. It's so good. But let me tell you what my gem is. Okay? So I recently read an article about ADHD. Big surprise. My newly diagnosed husband.

00:28:25 - Caitlin Kindred
Stop.

00:28:25 - Jenny GK
Yep. Yeah. When he got it, he texted me, Caitlin and I are gonna be med twins.

00:28:33 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes. You know, it's so funny, it didn't occur to me because you, like, with. When I'm with the two of you, like, you are the one who clearly res. With me. You and I are the ones who are, like, our brains are bouncing off all over the place like ping pong balls. But he's, like, normal and rational. But he does have hyper fixations. Like, a hundred percent, he has hyper fixations.

00:28:56 - Jenny GK
He turned one of them into a job. Hashtag Disney. Okay, so here's the deal. What are you talking about? Or, you know the Metallica tattoo?

00:29:03 - Caitlin Kindred
Impulsivity.

00:29:05 - Jenny GK
Okay? So I told him for years, when you unload the dishwasher, you close the cabinets. When you get a glass out of a cabinet, you then close the cabinet.

00:29:21 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, that's what we do.

00:29:22 - Jenny GK
So in this article, it said, leaving cabinet doors open is often an ADHD trait.

00:29:29 - Caitlin Kindred
It's one of my signature movs.

00:29:31 - Jenny GK
I mean, she's sitting in front of an open door right now. Anyway, I said to John across the living room, hey. Leaving cabinet doors off in an ADHD trait.

00:29:44 - Caitlin Kindred
Yep.

00:29:44 - Jenny GK
And Kit interjects, he's five. Who has ADHD. And I just look at him and said, everyone in this house.

00:29:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes. Yes. Yep. Which means we know you do, too.

00:30:01 - Jenny GK
Yeah. It's easier for us to say who doesn't, right, in this family, because that's.

00:30:06 - Caitlin Kindred
A big, fat goose egg.

00:30:08 - Jenny GK
Yeah. And what's really funny is, like, my mom, super does not.

00:30:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, interesting.

00:30:14 - Jenny GK
Super does not. My dad, a hundred percent.

00:30:19 - Caitlin Kindred
That's. Well, yeah, your dad. I mean, I don't even. I barely know your dad. I've met him once, and I'm like.

00:30:23 - Jenny GK
But, yeah, yeah. And what's funny is he is one of those people who, like, turned it into a superpower. Right? He had a very, very successful career in the military because he was able to channel his hyper fixation or do that, like, turn on production mode and get everything done in two and a half hours.

00:30:46 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. The routine there, the rigidity of those rules is so helpful for that. I can't even.

00:30:52 - Jenny GK
But he can go into his recording studio and disappear for 16 hours.

00:30:57 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Or hyper fixate on making an album.

00:31:00 - Jenny GK
For his pretend band.

00:31:03 - Caitlin Kindred
For his pretend band. Right.

00:31:05 - Jenny GK
That he made with friends 50 years ago.

00:31:07 - Caitlin Kindred
Right, exactly.

00:31:08 - Jenny GK
No big deal.

00:31:08 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, so that's hilarious. And I have no words except, like, welcome. We welcome you. All of us late diagnosed folks or undiagnosed, but all the content, it just feels a little too real. You are welcome here. I recently went to my brother's wedding, and I can talk more about that later, but my mom is very good about knowing that children will be at an event. And my brother's, I guess he's my brother's father in law. I don't know what that would be to me. Just, like, extended your brother's father in law? Yeah. Perfect. He was like, I notice you're kind of taking on some of your mom's, like, stress and responsibilities. And I was like, definitely not responsibilities. Like, she's all over this, but, like, I am supporting where I can.

00:32:04 - Jenny GK
And like, that matrix crown is not being passed on yet.

00:32:09 - Caitlin Kindred
No, no, no.

00:32:09 - Jenny GK
I know.

00:32:10 - Caitlin Kindred
No, I mean of my immediate.

00:32:13 - Jenny GK
Yes, yes.

00:32:14 - Caitlin Kindred
Sure. Of her. No, no, no. But I am trying to help her execute because, as she says, she's not a creative and she has a vision, but she doesn't know how to put it together. So that's where I sort of stepped in. Anyway, she's very good about, like, you know, this is an event for adults, but there's going to be children there. So how do I address that? So she did things like buy animal crackers, like the barnum's animal crackers in the boxes. Like, how smart, right? Like, just so sweet. And then at the rehearsal dinner, there were only two kids there, and one of them was my son, and the other one was this beautiful little girl who's my brother's best man's daughter. And she's. She turned four on the day of the rehearsal dinner. Like it was her birthday. So when she left, we all sang happy birthday to her. It was very. She was like, yeah, it was so sweet.

00:32:57 - Jenny GK
That's like when Kit had his fourth birthday at the same time as John's buddy's 40th. And we told Kit that that was his birthday party.

00:33:05 - Caitlin Kindred
Why are we having it at a brewery? I don't understand.

00:33:09 - Jenny GK
No, because this is where four year olds have parties. Birthday with a bunch of people you.

00:33:16 - Caitlin Kindred
Don'T know, but some of you do, right? And there's costumes, and there is a costume and a playground.

00:33:21 - Jenny GK
It's eighties themed. But not for any particular reason?

00:33:25 - Caitlin Kindred
Nope. Not at all. Not even a little bit. So my mom, being the forward thinking person that she is, has gifts for the little ones, and the gifts are, of course, things that they can do during the rehearsal dinner. And Sam goes and opens his gift, and I then go to my assigned seat at the table, and there's a coloring book that says cat butts.

00:33:48 - Jenny GK
No, it doesn't.

00:33:49 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, but it does. My mom got my son a cat butt coloring book for the rehearsals, and he's coloring it at my brother's wedding's rehearsal dinner, and I'm just amazing. We're at a dinner. Part of your mom, right? I was like, this is amazing that this is the kind of person that my mom is, that she will buy a coloring book of cat butts because it's funny and we keep them engaged. Keep him engaged.

00:34:15 - Jenny GK
It's novel, for sure.

00:34:16 - Caitlin Kindred
It was hysterical, and I was kind of mortified, like, oh, my God, my son is coloring cat butts at the table. Meanwhile, everyone thinks it's hilarious. Everyone who saw it, like, I don't think, but it's funny. And the fact that it was given to her, given to him by her, meant there was permission there. It's not like I just showed up with a cat book for my son to color. It was just great. But. But it turns out that coloring cat butts will entertain your child at a wedding rehearsal dinner. So if you ever need something to.

00:34:48 - Jenny GK
Do, I love that.

00:34:50 - Caitlin Kindred
Grab this coloring book. It is widely available wherever you want to get it.

00:34:54 - Jenny GK
Okay.

00:34:55 - Caitlin Kindred
So fun.

00:34:56 - Jenny GK
It is that time.

00:34:57 - Caitlin Kindred
It is that time.

00:34:59 - Jenny GK
So I'm gonna say make good choices.

00:35:02 - Caitlin Kindred
And you can handle the after school restraint collapse. You got this. And when you can't come back here, put your headphones in and listen to us talk about cat button or c season four. Yay. Bye.