00:00:01 - Jenny GK
Yeah. So this is wrong. Peaked is not right. We'll talk more about that later. And I'm also going to include the link to this video because it's a really interesting watch. But I first need to introduce my damp squid, which should actually be a damp squib.

00:00:20 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh. I was like, ew. Jen normally like, cute. That's a gross one. Ew. But now I get it, so thank you. That's Jenny, and she is everyone's favorite gracefully goofy model.

00:00:38 - Jenny GK
Oh, I like it.

00:00:40 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:00:41 - Jenny GK
Gracefully goofy.

00:00:42 - Caitlin Kindred
Gracefully goofy. I think that actually describes you pretty well, I would say.

00:00:47 - Jenny GK
I like it.

00:00:48 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:00:48 - Jenny GK
So, do you know what a damp squib is?

00:00:51 - Caitlin Kindred
No, but I have a feeling that I just took a compliment that I shouldn't have taken.

00:00:55 - Jenny GK
Oh, no. It's not a compliment. So a damn squid makes sense. A squid lives in the ocean, and so it.

00:01:02 - Caitlin Kindred
Sure. There.

00:01:03 - Jenny GK
Yeah, but the actual phrase is a damp squib because a squib is a firework.

00:01:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. So you just insulted me by saying I'm a firework that won't go off.

00:01:19 - Jenny GK
I mean, that's because we get to keep you forever, and you don't just explode and leave.

00:01:23 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, if my eyebrows could rise. They can't. I just got re. I just got re upped on my. My book, my forehead poison, and my eyebrows are officially not really going anywhere. It's me trying to get angry.

00:01:37 - Jenny GK
I look like a forehead poison. That's amazing.

00:01:41 - Caitlin Kindred
It's what it is. Before we keep going, I do want to give a shout out to someone who left us a really nice review. I think we're doing this again because we were doing it for a little while, and it makes me happy. So we'll get into the real talk in just, like, 15 seconds. So if you're a skipper, you can skip, but here you go. This is from Kendra May on iTunes. And iTunes. We're old Apple podcasts. She said old. As a former teacher, I totally love and can relate to this podcast. It is so much fun, and I 100% want to hang out with these girls. Ps, I'm also in Texas, so let's make it happen, Kendra May. Done. Just reach out. Like, for real. We'll definitely. We. We love it. We love a good friend, especially educator. Friends are just, like, something about someone who's been in the trenches with you. Right?

00:02:32 - Jenny GK
Right. Okay. Well, speaking of educator, this. I get to put my teacher hat on.

00:02:36 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:02:37 - Jenny GK
Do it. Okay. So, first off, let me tell you this. Rob Ward's video was so interesting.

00:02:41 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:02:42 - Jenny GK
And it was interesting because I'm a dork. But even if you're not nerdy, like, you can find value in this. In fact, we have found value in something similar to it. In episode 83, we did misheard song lyrics.

00:02:54 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, we did. That was fun one.

00:02:55 - Jenny GK
Okay. There is an official phrase for this. They're called Montagreens.

00:03:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Montagreens. Okay.

00:03:02 - Jenny GK
Montagreens. Because in 1954, there was this writer who remembered, when she was a kid, her mom used to read the scottish ballad called the Bonnie Earl O'more.

00:03:15 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:03:16 - Jenny GK
And she always heard the words lady Montagreen in the poem when her mom read it to her. But actually, the words are laid him on the green.

00:03:29 - Caitlin Kindred
So it's Monda Green. Okay.

00:03:31 - Jenny GK
Monda green.

00:03:32 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:03:34 - Jenny GK
So one of my favorites is the Justin Timberlake. Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soap. That's actually not the line.

00:03:44 - Caitlin Kindred
No, it's not.

00:03:45 - Jenny GK
It's a pocket full of salt.

00:03:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:03:48 - Jenny GK
So those are montagnes, and we talked about them before.

00:03:51 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:03:52 - Jenny GK
Okay. There's also something called malapropisms.

00:03:58 - Caitlin Kindred
I've heard it said malapropism, but. Okay. I don't know how to say it. Shoot. Go ahead.

00:04:02 - Jenny GK
I think both pronunciations are fine. Okay. And so this comes from French, which means mal apropos. Okay. Now, mal means bad and appropriate. Like, appropriate.

00:04:15 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:04:15 - Jenny GK
Okay. So there was a character in a play in the 1770s named Miss Malaprope, and she would try and use big words to sound smart, but she would actually just use a word that sounded like the appropriate big word. So, for example, shoplifters will be prostituted.

00:04:35 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, my.

00:04:37 - Jenny GK
Instead of prosecuted.

00:04:39 - Caitlin Kindred
I've heard a couple of ones that are, like, sound. That sound like this. One of them was, like, at the end of his life, the guy who's the aviator, not Leonardo DiCaprio, the guy he plays. And right now the name is escaping me. But he was emaciated at the end of his life, and someone said he was emancipated.

00:04:58 - Jenny GK
Yeah, that's exactly right.

00:05:00 - Caitlin Kindred
And then someone else said, instead of trying to, like, let down your, like, let down your inhibitions, they said, prohibitions. Perfect.

00:05:08 - Jenny GK
Yes.

00:05:09 - Caitlin Kindred
It's okay. These are funny. I'm not meaning to make fun of anyone who uses them, but we're. You're a grown up, and you're not allowed. Grownups cannot say these things anymore. We're moving from adulthood into being a true bonafide. Grown up.

00:05:26 - Jenny GK
Grown up.

00:05:26 - Caitlin Kindred
One episode at a time. And we're going to teach these things correctly.

00:05:30 - Jenny GK
Much more than just being over the age of 18, y'all.

00:05:33 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:05:34 - Jenny GK
Okay. So today we're going to talk about egg corns. And they're called egg corns because they are a word or phrase that sounds like and is mistakenly used in a seemingly logical or plausible way for another word or phrase. And I'm taking that from Merriam Webster's dictionary. It's actually in the dictionary, the word acorn.

00:05:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, okay. Okay.

00:05:58 - Jenny GK
So this came from an article that word history scholar wrote, and they were talking about a woman who said that she had found some egg corns and they were causing damage on her car, and she had actually typed the word egg corns.

00:06:25 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, dear.

00:06:26 - Jenny GK
And so the, the linguist wrote about this in an article, and another one was reading it. His name is Jeffrey Pullum.

00:06:35 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:06:36 - Jenny GK
And he read it and he was like, oh, my gosh. There is no description for this because it's not that she's using the wrong word. She's actually using real words that make sense. If you've never seen the word acorn written and you live in the south, egg corn.

00:06:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:06:56 - Jenny GK
You might hear it as egg corn. Now, look, it's a corn, it's a seed, and it has a little egg like shape.

00:07:04 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:07:04 - Jenny GK
So what she's saying are is real words and makes sense. So he decided, let's just name it that.

00:07:12 - Caitlin Kindred
If this is giving, like, instead of olive garden, this is giving all of garden vibes to me.

00:07:19 - Jenny GK
Struggling exactly the same thing. Right. Here's the thing that's really interesting. And this is the part that makes you evolve from adult to grown up spellcheck. And Grammarly will not catch these because they are real words. And in the most of the time, they even match the correct part of speech. So in the case of acorn, egg corn is being the word acorn. A noun is being replaced with two nouns. Yeah, it makes sense.

00:07:52 - Caitlin Kindred
Unless you're putting it as one word, then I think it might get.

00:07:55 - Jenny GK
Then they'd be like, that is an egg. But now that it's an actual word in the dictionary, it might actually not register at all.

00:08:05 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, we're going to give this a shot. Teach me the things, because I'm sure I've said at least one of these things wrong.

00:08:11 - Jenny GK
So there's a lot in here that are pretty common and you might actually know them, but then there are some other that I did not know and I learned by watching this video. Okay, so the first one I want to talk about is escape goat.

00:08:25 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, this is giving Michael Scott.

00:08:27 - Jenny GK
Yeah.

00:08:27 - Caitlin Kindred
They are trying to make me an escape goat.

00:08:30 - Jenny GK
Yes, they are. Yes, they are. Now, here's the deal. The word is scapegoat. It's one word. It's not an escape goat. It's one word. And it actually comes from the Christian Bible.

00:08:45 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:08:46 - Jenny GK
There was a tradition that you would release. You would get a pair of goats. You would release one into the wilderness to represent all of your community sin, and you would sacrifice the other. And the one that was released was the scapegoat. Oh, so if you are being someone's scapegoat. Scapegoat. You are carrying their sin. You are being held guilty for something that you may not have done.

00:09:15 - Caitlin Kindred
Sounds like either option is not really the best. I mean, although if I'm the goat.

00:09:20 - Jenny GK
Rather be the goat that has to run away than the one that has to get sacrificed. I don't want to be blamed for all the things that people did.

00:09:26 - Caitlin Kindred
That's fair.

00:09:27 - Jenny GK
Okay, the next one is a mute point.

00:09:33 - Caitlin Kindred
It's a cow's opinion.

00:09:38 - Jenny GK
I actually wrote that in there. It's like a cow's opinion. It's moo. Okay, so this is actually a moot point. M o o t. Not mute. M u t e. But mute makes sense. It's still an adjective. It means quiet. Doesn't matter. Right. If you put the tv on mute, it's not disturbing you anymore. But the word is actually moot, which means a non player. It doesn't make a difference.

00:10:04 - Caitlin Kindred
It's like a cow's opinion.

00:10:06 - Jenny GK
Like a cow's opinion. It's moo.

00:10:07 - Caitlin Kindred
It's moo.

00:10:08 - Jenny GK
I want to tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot. Jessie's girl.

00:10:15 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:10:15 - Jenny GK
Okay. All right, the next one is biting my time.

00:10:21 - Caitlin Kindred
No, you don't eat time.

00:10:23 - Jenny GK
You don't eat time.

00:10:23 - Caitlin Kindred
Don't bite it.

00:10:25 - Jenny GK
You bide your time. So biding your time means to stay put and to wait. And this verb has actually been replaced with abide in most.

00:10:35 - Caitlin Kindred
Stop. Yeah, stop for a second. Your sound extra mega, like, cut out for a second. Oh, okay. So start with. Start with biting. Yeah.

00:10:46 - Jenny GK
Okay, so the next one is biting my time.

00:10:50 - Caitlin Kindred
No, we don't eat time.

00:10:52 - Jenny GK
Yeah. No, no one bites time. The phrase is biding my time. And the adjective to our. Sorry. The verb to bide means to stay, to wait, to hang out where you are. Yes. And in most places in English, we have replaced the word bide with abide as the dude abides. Because I'm just hanging. I'm just. I'm just staying put.

00:11:23 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:11:23 - Jenny GK
I'm just sitting here and drink my white russian. The dude abides.

00:11:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Yum. Yep.

00:11:28 - Jenny GK
So if you are biding your time, you're just hanging out and waiting for something to change.

00:11:35 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes. Makes sense.

00:11:36 - Jenny GK
All right, the next one, I did not know people said, but apparently they say it enough for it to be in this video.

00:11:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:11:43 - Jenny GK
Feeble position.

00:11:46 - Caitlin Kindred
No, no, no.

00:11:51 - Jenny GK
I didn't even know it was one now.

00:11:53 - Caitlin Kindred
I did not know this was a thing.

00:11:55 - Jenny GK
Yeah. Hopefully our listeners know that the word is fetal position, as in how an unborn baby is positioned in the uterus. The fetal position.

00:12:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Many. I would go out on a limb and say the majority of our listeners are parents, if not mothers, and many of them would have some inkling of knowledge of what the fetal position is. But the fact that somebody might say feeble position is kind of shocking, but. Okay, I hear it. Yeah, I can hear it. Right?

00:12:28 - Jenny GK
Like you're sad or you're scared and you're just curled up in the feeble position.

00:12:33 - Caitlin Kindred
It's like something your five year old would say when they're learning it. Yeah.

00:12:37 - Jenny GK
Yes. That's so good.

00:12:39 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, fetal. Got it.

00:12:41 - Jenny GK
Kind of like star horse day.

00:12:44 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, exactly like star horse day.

00:12:46 - Jenny GK
Okay, the next one. This is one that was new to me.

00:12:49 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:12:50 - Jenny GK
And it's because I had only really listened to the word and not seen it in writing enough for it to register for me. Okay. This is free reign.

00:13:03 - Caitlin Kindred
Like, courses.

00:13:04 - Jenny GK
Well, that's actually correct.

00:13:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, oh.

00:13:07 - Jenny GK
I was incorrect in thinking that it's the king can do whatever he wants. Free reign over the kingdom.

00:13:14 - Caitlin Kindred
I like it. That makes sense. Okay. Yeah, it does. I got that one. That one. I hear it.

00:13:22 - Jenny GK
She says it makes sense, folks, because I just told her that I got it all the time.

00:13:26 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. Egg corn. I can't get behind. Feeble position. No, no. Free rein like this. And they sound exactly the same, and that's it.

00:13:35 - Jenny GK
Yeah, but it's free rein, as in letting go of the reins of the horse and letting it decide where to go.

00:13:41 - Caitlin Kindred
Is that a homophone? When they're. It is. Same. Okay.

00:13:45 - Jenny GK
Same sound.

00:13:46 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes. Okay.

00:13:47 - Jenny GK
Homonym. Same meaning.

00:13:50 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:13:51 - Jenny GK
Okay.

00:13:51 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:13:52 - Jenny GK
All right. The next one, I think, is probably a middle school mistake. I have to imagine that at some point you see this in writing and realize that it's not correct, but an old wise tale. Oh, that's just an old wives tale.

00:14:10 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:14:11 - Jenny GK
The phrase is actually old wives tale as in belonging to the wife.

00:14:17 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:14:18 - Jenny GK
And this comes from oral tradition of storytelling, and many women who, you know, did not have the privilege of education and were illiterate, probably on purpose. Down with the patriarchy. Anyway, they would pass these stories and remedies and recipes and folklore, et cetera. They would pass it down orally. And so a story that, like, hmm, I don't know. If you rub onion on your eye, that stye is gonna go away. That sounds like an old wives tale.

00:14:51 - Caitlin Kindred
That sounds excruciating. Oh, my goodness. I've also heard the onion on the bottoms of your feet or next to your. No, no, no. Just for if you're sick. Like, you put onions on the bottom of your feet, and then you wrap them in, I don't know, like, saran wrap or something, and then go to laid it in a manger. Yeah, I don't know. But I also have heard cut open an onion and leave it next to your bed. When you're sick and you sleep and it's supposed to turn black and it's absorbing all the gross stuff.

00:15:25 - Jenny GK
Have you seen sleepless in Seattle?

00:15:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:15:28 - Jenny GK
Okay. There's this scene where they start talking about, like, ways to get rid of hiccups, and they're like, oh, no. You have to drink up water upside down. No, no, that. That you need to put a glass of. You have to put sugar in a glass of water. And they're just, like, completely on a rabbit trail. They weren't even talking about hiccups, but it was just like, the remedies start coming out. Like, this is what's happening right now. Like, oh, well, here's another way you can use onions. Have you tried pickling them? They're really great on, like, we're just talking about onions now.

00:15:53 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, the hiccups thing, though. You're just reminding me there. That's from Judy Bloom. That's a. Oh, I forget the name of the book. But you put, like, a little packet of sugar on your tongue, and they take a drink of water, and it's supposed to make your hiccups go away. It's in a Judy bloom book.

00:16:10 - Jenny GK
Wow.

00:16:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Anyway, keep going.

00:16:13 - Jenny GK
All right, the next one. My bad. Scandal ly clad, as in, I hear it is causing a scandal.

00:16:21 - Caitlin Kindred
Mm hmm.

00:16:21 - Jenny GK
I hear it totally makes sense now. I don't think that scandaly is an adverb. I think that's a made up word.

00:16:30 - Caitlin Kindred
Sounds like it. Yeah, but I wouldn't know.

00:16:33 - Jenny GK
But it makes sense. Like, causing a scandal with your outfit. It's actually scantily clad with a t, like, coming from the adjective scant.

00:16:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. Like, not enough.

00:16:44 - Jenny GK
Not enough. Right, right. Okay, give her a scant portion because she's already had three. Caitlin talking about me and mashed potatoes. So if you are scantily clad, you are not wearing enough clothing according to the person who's saying it. Probably not the person who's wearing it, because if you are comfortable, you put it on. And that's all I have to say about that. All right, the next one is to pass mustard, y'all. This is something you do at the dinner table.

00:17:16 - Caitlin Kindred
You pass the mustard.

00:17:17 - Jenny GK
You pass the mustard. But if you are talking about going through an inspection or being enough, you have passed muster. Muster is a military term that means to gather together or to have an inspection, as in, I'm going to muster up the energy to change out all of the sheets in the house.

00:17:37 - Caitlin Kindred
This is. Okay, I knew the word muster, as in, muster up the energy, but I have definitely been saying to pass the mustard. I am going to be a grown up now because I.

00:17:54 - Jenny GK
There you go. All right, we just got a handful more now. There are, like, hundreds of these since the 2003 article, and Professor Pullum naming this phenomena of acorn, and linguists from all over have started to collect them because it is a very unique thing in our language to take an idiom or colloquialism and then replace it with another word that actually makes sense. Right? This isn't just misheard. This is you trying to make sense of something you don't know. I remember in the nineties, it was old time disease.

00:18:41 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, yeah.

00:18:42 - Jenny GK
We all know now as Alzheimer's. But, like, when I was a kid and this was, like, new. No, that's new what you thought of. We thought it was Alzheimer's disease. Okay, so here's a couple more I've got for you. You've got another thing coming. If you think that you are gonna go out of the house with that makeup on, you got another thing coming.

00:19:03 - Caitlin Kindred
That scandal eclad. Yes, you've got another thing coming.

00:19:07 - Jenny GK
Okay, so it's actually. You've got another think coming because you should rethink that. You are not wearing kiss makeup to school if it's not Halloween. I'm sorry, you can put on as much eyeliner as you want, but we're not going to dress up like cats and go to school.

00:19:28 - Caitlin Kindred
Raccoons.

00:19:29 - Jenny GK
Raccoons. There you go. All right, next one. For all intensive purposes, this was your suggestion.

00:19:36 - Caitlin Kindred
I cannot.

00:19:36 - Jenny GK
This is a classic. Yeah, this is a classic because the phrase is actually, for all intents, all meanings and purposes, in all ways that we could use this.

00:19:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Right?

00:19:47 - Jenny GK
Not in all intensive purposes, as in the most useful purposes.

00:19:53 - Caitlin Kindred
The most intensive purposes I've heard also for all intended purposes, which that one could.

00:20:01 - Jenny GK
That one could.

00:20:02 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, it is an egg corn, but I could hear, like, I can hear that being used correctly. Right? Like, if you're going to use it for all of its intended purposes, that's how I, you know, you. But. But mostly when it's said wrong, it's for all intensive purpose, right? That's not a thing, guys. We're not saying that anymore. For all intents and purposes.

00:20:23 - Jenny GK
Here's another one I've been getting wrong this day in age.

00:20:30 - Caitlin Kindred
Ooh. It's. And it's.

00:20:33 - Jenny GK
And, yep, in this day and age, cell phones are common.

00:20:39 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, my gosh.

00:20:41 - Jenny GK
So it's about 200 years old, and it's about talking about the span of time. You are talking about the current day and age, not the day in age, which I have been using the wrong word.

00:20:57 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:20:58 - Jenny GK
All right, two more that I thought were interesting again, there's hundreds of these. Go do some research. Okay. The next one is towing the line. And much like free rain, we do have a homophone here. I am spelling it t o w, as in, I am towing the line. I am pulling it behind me. Yes, but that is not it at all. It is towing the line, as in to e, you put your toe on the line. And this comes from naval ships in the 17 hundreds ish. There's some writings from the late 17th century, some from the early 18 hundreds. Nobody sure exactly what it is, but it's about the 17 hundreds. They would have the sailors line up for muster, of all things, line up for an inspection, and they would have to put their bare feet, their toes along the line in the planks of the wood on the ship.

00:21:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Ah, you're towing.

00:21:56 - Jenny GK
And so they, they put their toe to the line. They tow the line. And if your toe is not on the line, you are not in the line correctly, and you did not pass muster.

00:22:06 - Caitlin Kindred
I like that. So when I was, I actually knew that it was towing, um, with your feet. Because when I was a kid and I worked out of daycare, one of the games that I would have the kids play is called ports of call. And it was in a gym, and you would call out the different parts of the ship. So, you know, port, starboard, things like that. And then you would say, we made overboard, and they had to grab a partner and, like, pretend to row a boat together. But one of them was tow the line, and the kids all had to get on a line in the gym and, like, line their feet up appropriately on the line.

00:22:41 - Jenny GK
Oh, my gosh. That's amazing.

00:22:43 - Caitlin Kindred
That one was fun. That was a good game. It's fun. It wears kids out because it's hard. It's hard. So, yeah.

00:22:52 - Jenny GK
All right, the last one that I will share with you today is coming down the pipe.

00:22:59 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, Lort. This one makes sense.

00:23:05 - Jenny GK
Itsy bitsy spider. Yeah. Is coming down the pipe.

00:23:09 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, dear.

00:23:10 - Jenny GK
Okay, so the actual phrase is coming down the pike with a k. Yes. Because pike is short for turn pike or a toll road, to those of you who don't live in the northeast. And it's saying that another thing is coming down the road.

00:23:26 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:23:27 - Jenny GK
So be aware, because this is coming down the pike.

00:23:31 - Caitlin Kindred
Thank you. That one makes me crazy.

00:23:34 - Jenny GK
So this day and age, you should be able to say these correctly, otherwise you've got another think coming.

00:23:44 - Caitlin Kindred
You should. Yeah. You should tell us these if you have one. Yeah, tell them to us. Okay, now let's take.

00:23:50 - Jenny GK
Okay.

00:23:55 - Caitlin Kindred
So funny.

00:23:57 - Jenny GK
All right. Are you ready to come back?

00:23:59 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm ready to come back.

00:24:00 - Jenny GK
Okay. Let's talk about what we're obsessed with. And I will start. And I will start by saying that I know this makes me sound snobby. Well, even say it doesn't just make me sound snobby. It shows that I truly am a snob.

00:24:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Now that you're correcting all of your acorns, you're definitely gonna sound like a snob with this plus your correct phrasing.

00:24:22 - Jenny GK
I don't know. I had free reign on what I wanted to say today, so.

00:24:26 - Caitlin Kindred
Hey, y'all.

00:24:28 - Jenny GK
All right, so here is what I'm obsessed with right now, and it's because I am in a season where a lot of things are coming to a close, okay? It is the end of the school year. It is also the end of my service leagues year. And so a lot of things are just kind of wrapping up and getting ready for a fresh start. It's also wedding season, and so I am seeing this happen a lot, and I am here to tell you all about how obsessed I am with toast etiquette. And I am not talking about my favorite food, double cooked bread. I am talking about making a toast.

00:25:05 - Caitlin Kindred
It was like, first you toast it, then you make sure it's the appropriate golden brown color. Then you put on the butter.

00:25:11 - Jenny GK
Put it butter side up. Otherwise, you might as well live with those zooks across the bridge. Okay, tell me it's because you haven't read the butter battle book. Go read that. Learn about communism and then come back. Okay.

00:25:25 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh.

00:25:25 - Jenny GK
All right. So here's the deal from Emily Post, who you know is the queen of etiquette.

00:25:34 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes.

00:25:34 - Jenny GK
And we're on, like, generation 19 of Emily post books. But this is also something that, if, you know, people will appreciate about you.

00:25:45 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay. More grown up advice here for it.

00:25:49 - Jenny GK
Grown up advice. And actually, it's me complaining, but I'm complaining in the way of making advice, so I'm really just moaning. But I'm gonna moan in a way that sounds like I'm trying to help people out.

00:26:00 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:26:00 - Jenny GK
So the first one is, when you are trying to get the attention of the crowd, you should not tap your glasses. Okay. Not only is that obnoxious, it's also dangerous. You could break the glass. Now you've got everyone's attention because you just broke a champagne flute with a butter knife.

00:26:21 - Caitlin Kindred
There's an episode of will embrace where Jack does that.

00:26:25 - Jenny GK
I believe it. I believe it. You're hitting a glass with a knife.

00:26:29 - Caitlin Kindred
Excuse me. Excuse me.

00:26:31 - Jenny GK
Yeah, yeah. So you either say, may I have your attention, please? Or you say, it's time for a toast. Now, the only person who is saying this is the host of the event, because unless they have charged someone else with making the first toast, the host goes first. Do not make a toast at an event without being the host yourself or having the blessing of the host to offer the first host. They may not want toast to be made. It could be that the event they are throwing in the person's honor, that person has said, okay, I. Yes, you may throw a baby shower for me, but please don't make a toast or anything weird like that. So don't make a toast unless you have the blessing of the host. Okay. You must stand to offer a toast unless you are unable to stand. You should toast only with a glass that is not empty. It does not need to be full of a boozy beverage.

00:27:34 - Caitlin Kindred
Water is just toast with empty glasses.

00:27:38 - Jenny GK
Your glass should have something in it.

00:27:40 - Caitlin Kindred
Who's doing that?

00:27:42 - Jenny GK
People who want to make a toast, but having refilled their glass, I guess.

00:27:46 - Caitlin Kindred
I guess. Don't do that.

00:27:49 - Jenny GK
Yeah, the drink doesn't matter.

00:27:51 - Caitlin Kindred
No.

00:27:52 - Jenny GK
You can toast at an event that doesn't serve anything alcoholic. Toast does not equal alcoholic beverage.

00:27:58 - Caitlin Kindred
No.

00:27:59 - Jenny GK
Okay. You should raise your glass only to eye level, not overhead. Raising your glass overhead is what you do when you get into the pool and you're trying not to spill it, or you are dancing on the floor at the club.

00:28:16 - Caitlin Kindred
Hey o.

00:28:17 - Jenny GK
When you are making a toast, your glass goes to eye level.

00:28:20 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:28:21 - Jenny GK
So that you can see that there's liquid in it.

00:28:24 - Caitlin Kindred
Right? Think like Leo DiCaprio in that. Like meme.

00:28:28 - Jenny GK
Oh, yes, the meme.

00:28:29 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes. Perfect. There you go.

00:28:30 - Jenny GK
Okay. Do not drink a toast that is made in your honor. If you are being toasted, you remain seated, you smile, you nod, you can say thank you if you want, but really, your job is just to sit there quietly and appreciate it.

00:28:45 - Caitlin Kindred
So I shouldn't get anxious and slam the drink that I have in my hand down my throat?

00:28:50 - Jenny GK
Because you have to do that right before they make the toast. When they say it's time for a toast, you throw yours back.

00:28:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, got it. Okay.

00:28:56 - Jenny GK
Okay. If you are making a toast, you should end your toast with a toast.

00:29:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, some speeches are not, okay?

00:29:08 - Jenny GK
It's not a speech, it's a toast. If it was a speech, they would just say, can you make a speech?

00:29:14 - Caitlin Kindred
Right?

00:29:14 - Jenny GK
But if you're making a toast, you need to have something that closes and that the crowd can either repeat the toast or answer in kind. So I could say, here's to Caitlin. And everyone would say, to Caitlin. Or I would say, she's a hell of a girl. And they would say, hear, hear. Yeah, but you need to offer a call and response because part of the toast is involving the community in all celebrating the person or group of people that you're lifting up.

00:29:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Got it.

00:29:44 - Jenny GK
All right, so here's to toast etiquette.

00:29:48 - Caitlin Kindred
Hear, hear.

00:29:52 - Jenny GK
All right. That's my obsession.

00:29:54 - Caitlin Kindred
I like it.

00:29:55 - Jenny GK
I'm off my soapbox now.

00:29:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, mine is completely unrelated. Mine is not about etiquette or saying anything correctly. Mine is about, you are not snobby. Depends on the day. Sometimes I am. There are certain things I'm snobby about, and I'm gonna go off. You had your moment to go off. This is me going off right here. There is a viral post going around, and I. Forgive me, I don't know the girl's name. I'll find it, and I'll link it in the show notes or on the blog post for the episode. She made a comment that said, I can tell if someone is Gen Z or millennial in 5 seconds ish by looking at them at the gym. Oh, and I'm shocked that you haven't heard this and you don't know the answer yet. It sucks.

00:30:57 - Jenny GK
What?

00:30:59 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, take a moment back. Come back with me. It's 1998. Your socks hit mid calf, and you're wearing them with slides. That's me. Okay? My adidas slides. Part of that is cause soccer and stuff. That's just how I wore my socks. But the other part of it is just. That's what you did. Like, you wore that calf high socks. And then we get to high school and the socks gradually have to get shorter and shorter until they are no show socks.

00:31:32 - Jenny GK
No, I just want to say I like, if I ran out of no show socks, I would fold my other.

00:31:37 - Caitlin Kindred
Socks down, see them, and they would bunch or hurt or whatever. And you could not. You couldn't adjust them in front of all these people you had because then.

00:31:48 - Jenny GK
People would know that you're wearing, that.

00:31:49 - Caitlin Kindred
You folded your socks down. No, not. Okay, so the new thing, now that we're all old because we don't do, is back to wearing socks that you pull up. Sam, my son is wearing socks that you pull up, like tube socks.

00:32:09 - Jenny GK
Oh, my gosh. Just this morning, I asked Kit if he wanted to wear a pair of my socks because his weren't clean. He said, no, I would rather wear my dirty ones.

00:32:16 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:32:17 - Jenny GK
Because he wanted them to show.

00:32:19 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. So we're wearing tall socks again. And you can put tall socks on the top of my urn. I will not wear them. I won't. I will not. There's the little top. The little. The little piece that goes on the top and it looks like a little. The top of the vase or whatever you can put. That's where you can put the sock. You will not get me back into those socks again. We are not going there anymore. I am wearing my no show socks as long as I possibly can. I love that.

00:32:49 - Jenny GK
The only time I can think of wearing socks besides, like, with boots, which is totally different. But the time, only time I can think of is wearing socks that show in my life now is at some kind of campy event where I'm wearing knee socks in the color of whatever team I'm trying to support.

00:33:09 - Caitlin Kindred
The last time I wore socks like that, aside from boots again, was when you and I dressed up for seventies day and I was being Joey Lauren Adams from days and confused. I'm not going back down that road again. I'm not doing it. So I'll be a millennial all you.

00:33:28 - Jenny GK
Want colors so that, like, if I'm on the purple squad, I can wear.

00:33:32 - Caitlin Kindred
My purple knee socks, totally fine. You call me a millennial all you want. I've slowly started to embrace less than skinny jeans, right? So fine. But I'm not. I'm not doing it. I'm not having the two short pants with my socks showing. It's not happening. So take your gen z socks and keep them to yourself, because I don't want them. That's my obsession, is me just ranting about this. I will not go back. I'm not doing it.

00:34:03 - Jenny GK
Okay. So that brings me to the gem.

00:34:07 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay.

00:34:09 - Jenny GK
And I should be ranting about this. I should be angry, and I should be back in the part of the episode where I was cursing the patriarchy. But I gotta tell you, I kinda liked it a little bit.

00:34:23 - Caitlin Kindred
Uh oh.

00:34:24 - Jenny GK
The other day, I was going to an event, and I had worked very hard on my luck.

00:34:30 - Caitlin Kindred
It's like building a boat. It takes all afternoon.

00:34:33 - Jenny GK
Yeah.

00:34:35 - Caitlin Kindred
It's like a ship in a bottle.

00:34:38 - Jenny GK
I wanted to look like I had just thrown myself together, but I also wanted to be as perfectly polished as possible.

00:34:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. Building a boat.

00:34:48 - Jenny GK
Yes. So, hair, makeup, a casual outfit that looked like I could have just thrown it on, but everybody knows I live in t shirt and shorts. This was intentional, what I was wearing. Yeah, we tried blouse tucked into my jeans or something that everyone else just happens to have, and I have to really think about putting on. And I walk out the front door to get in the car, and there is a man. I won't say gentlemen, because of what just is about to happen.

00:35:18 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, no.

00:35:19 - Jenny GK
There is a man working on my next door neighbor's lawn, and he looks at me and he whistles.

00:35:28 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, hey, looking good.

00:35:31 - Jenny GK
He is, you know, 19, and I should be so offended. Meanwhile, I'm like, yeah, I am.

00:35:39 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, I am.

00:35:42 - Jenny GK
Yes. I got cat cold.

00:35:44 - Caitlin Kindred
Yep. It's been a long time.

00:35:46 - Jenny GK
I might be 40, but I look fabulous.

00:35:48 - Caitlin Kindred
It's fine, it's fine. You know what? Whatever makes you feel good. No, don't.

00:35:53 - Jenny GK
But I should have dressed that guy down. I should have said, yeah, you should.

00:35:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Be, like, not appropriate. Right?

00:35:57 - Jenny GK
Not appropriate. If you want to offer me a compliment, you may, but you do not want whistle at women. But meanwhile, just like. Mm hmm.

00:36:03 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Whistle again. Whistle again. Yeah. Louder. Honey, open the door. You need to hear something. Oh, goodness. Okay. Well, I'm going to do a little brag on my sister. My baby sister. And I need y'all to understand I'm 40, right? So when I say baby sister, I don't mean like, she's a baby, but she's been a baby because, like, I was twelve when she was born, so she's 28 years old. And today, today, my baby sister is a doctor.

00:36:42 - Jenny GK
Oh, my God.

00:36:44 - Caitlin Kindred
And I'm so proud of her. Well, on the family calendar that my dad so lovingly puts together, he has that her graduation is tomorrow.

00:36:54 - Jenny GK
Okay, okay, okay.

00:36:56 - Caitlin Kindred
It's not. It's happening right now. And I got an alert telling me that it was time sensitive that her graduation is happening. And it says, traffic is light. It will take 29 hours and 44 minutes to get to the University of New England. I was like, I call her pickle. I was like, be right there, pickle.

00:37:15 - Jenny GK
I'm coming on the phone telling you today that you have 29 hours to.

00:37:19 - Caitlin Kindred
Get some, because if I'm gonna drive there, I better leave right now.

00:37:25 - Jenny GK
Because.

00:37:25 - Caitlin Kindred
He put the alert on it for when it's time to leave. So that's what showed up, and I just started cackling. I mean, I took a screenshot, highlighted it, and I was like, be right there, pickle, I'm coming. Might be a little late.

00:37:40 - Jenny GK
Traffic is light, though.

00:37:42 - Caitlin Kindred
It should be okay. You should get the really smoothly. No problem.

00:37:46 - Jenny GK
As long as I don't stop to put gas in the car or pee, I'll be there in 30 minutes.

00:37:51 - Caitlin Kindred
Or sleep or do anything normal, like a human thing. Right. I'll be there in 29 hours. I won't even miss it. I love when parents do stuff like that. Alert in there for when I'm supposed to leave. None of us could go.

00:38:05 - Jenny GK
We're not going.

00:38:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Right.

00:38:07 - Jenny GK
And if I did need to leave, I would probably need to leave on a plane yesterday.

00:38:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. Congratulations.

00:38:13 - Jenny GK
Not driving to University of New England.

00:38:16 - Caitlin Kindred
No.

00:38:16 - Jenny GK
From central Texas.

00:38:17 - Caitlin Kindred
Not from central Texas. Pennsylvania. Yeah. Okay. Central Texas. No. Congratulations, Kara. I'm proud of you. I love you, and I'll be there in.

00:38:27 - Jenny GK
Congrats.

00:38:28 - Caitlin Kindred
30 hours.

00:38:29 - Jenny GK
Doctor Pickle.

00:38:31 - Caitlin Kindred
Doctor Pickle. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Doctor Pickle. Love it.

00:38:36 - Jenny GK
I love it. All right, well, it is just about that time. And before we go, I want to make a plug. Please tell your friends, please share this episode in person with an actual connection to some other people. You know, word of mouth is the best, and we really need you to connect with someone else and tell them how we've changed your life.

00:39:00 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah.

00:39:01 - Jenny GK
I mean, you thought it was an escape, goat.

00:39:10 - Caitlin Kindred
They are trying to make me an escape.

00:39:13 - Jenny GK
This is a doggy eat dog world.

00:39:16 - Caitlin Kindred
No, a doggy dog.

00:39:20 - Jenny GK
Doggy dog world.

00:39:21 - Caitlin Kindred
Doggy dog world. Snoop Dogg. Never mind. It's time to go. Bye.