CK & GK Podcast

Top 3 Lines You Need to Avoid Using With Your Introverted Partner

November 07, 2023 Jenny GK and Caitlin Kindred Season 3 Episode 92
Top 3 Lines You Need to Avoid Using With Your Introverted Partner
CK & GK Podcast
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CK & GK Podcast
Top 3 Lines You Need to Avoid Using With Your Introverted Partner
Nov 07, 2023 Season 3 Episode 92
Jenny GK and Caitlin Kindred

Send us a Text!

Are you in an introvert-extrovert relationship? And, are you trying to balance the extrovert’s need to be social with the introvert’s need to NOT be social? 

Discover the common phrases that undermine your efforts to get your introvert out— and the one line you can use to strike a balance—in this episode of the CK & GK Podcast.

Introverts may be more sensitive to their environment, but that sensitivity also brings empathy and the ability to connect deeply with others. Embrace and celebrate their sensitivity. —CK

This episode will

  • Strengthen your relationship with your introvert-extrovert partner.
  • Give you a deeper understanding of introverts and extroverts.
  • Teach you what to do to ensure that both introverts and extroverts have their social needs met.

Sources for this episode include

This episode's blog post, here.

The best support is a rating and a share.


Support the Show.

View our website at . Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
- Twitter
- Instagram
- Facebook
- TikTok
Thanks, y'all!

Show Notes Transcript

Send us a Text!

Are you in an introvert-extrovert relationship? And, are you trying to balance the extrovert’s need to be social with the introvert’s need to NOT be social? 

Discover the common phrases that undermine your efforts to get your introvert out— and the one line you can use to strike a balance—in this episode of the CK & GK Podcast.

Introverts may be more sensitive to their environment, but that sensitivity also brings empathy and the ability to connect deeply with others. Embrace and celebrate their sensitivity. —CK

This episode will

  • Strengthen your relationship with your introvert-extrovert partner.
  • Give you a deeper understanding of introverts and extroverts.
  • Teach you what to do to ensure that both introverts and extroverts have their social needs met.

Sources for this episode include

This episode's blog post, here.

The best support is a rating and a share.


Support the Show.

View our website at . Find us on social media @ckandgkpodcast on
- Twitter
- Instagram
- Facebook
- TikTok
Thanks, y'all!

00:00:00 - Jenny GK
It's November.

00:00:02 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, my Gosh.

00:00:02 - Jenny GK
So it's not Taco Tuesday. It's Turkey Tuesday. Oh.

00:00:10 - Caitlin Kindred
And pretty soon after Thanksgiving, it'll be turkey every day while you eat the rest of your meal. Right? Oh, goodness. You guys, we're so glad you're here. We're heading into the season of socializing, aka the most wonderful time of the year.

00:00:27 - Jenny GK
And it's the most wonderful time of the year if you like talking to people.

00:00:34 - Caitlin Kindred
If you don't, it's the most nightmarish type of if you have an introverted partner or bestie or someone who you love, who you're intending to drag around to all of these social events that are upcoming this holiday season, we've got three things that you need to eliminate from your vocabulary when you speak with them. And if you are an extrovert, don't worry. We're not extrovert. Bashing right.

00:01:02 - Jenny GK

00:01:03 - Caitlin Kindred
We have a little trick that you can use to get your introvert to come outside of the house with you. Where all the people are. Right.

00:01:12 - Jenny GK
I want to be where the people are.

00:01:15 - Caitlin Kindred
Nice. Well done.

00:01:16 - Jenny GK
I'm such a singer today.

00:01:18 - Caitlin Kindred
You are. So that's all coming up, so stick around.

00:01:22 - Jenny GK
But first, in honor of Thanksgiving, we have Caitlin, who will Plymouth Rock you. We will. We will Plymouth Rock you.

00:01:33 - Caitlin Kindred
No, it doesn't work. It does not work. Well, that's Jennyny, my phenomenal well of ideas, who is just they're not good.

00:01:46 - Jenny GK
They're not good ideas. She's just got a lot of them.

00:01:49 - Caitlin Kindred
That's not true. They're good. I say that I sounded very hesitant.

00:01:55 - Jenny GK
But I swear, I swear they are good.

00:02:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay. I have a shout out.

00:02:04 - Jenny GK

00:02:05 - Caitlin Kindred
And it's random, and it made me laugh, but it's apparently real.

00:02:13 - Jenny GK

00:02:14 - Caitlin Kindred
I wanted to say hi to our listeners in Poland because.

00:02:19 - Jenny GK
Our podcast cracked.

00:02:21 - Caitlin Kindred
The CK & GK Podcast top 200 for Education how to in Poland, and I have no idea why. I don't know. I know nothing about Polish culture of Kuyava. Oh, maybe I know nothing about Polish culture. I don't know.

00:02:40 - Jenny GK
It's like a place there.

00:02:41 - Caitlin Kindred
Well, yeah, no, I know that. I know Poland is a no, no.

00:02:46 - Jenny GK
Cuyava is like a place.

00:02:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, you're kidding.

00:02:48 - Jenny GK
Really? No. It's like a region or area or something. I don't know.

00:02:53 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, I thought you were telling me that Poland was a place, and I was like, no, I know. I got it. I used to teach geography. I kind of know that much. Right. Goodness.

00:03:03 - Jenny GK
Gem of the week. Poland is a place.

00:03:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, it is. And I also have a correction.

00:03:11 - Jenny GK

00:03:11 - Caitlin Kindred
Last week, we talked about celebrity deaths, and we also talked about Matthew Perry's untimely passing, and I said I would put a link to the organization that we donated to in the show notes. Shatterproof. I did not put that link in the show notes, so I'm really hoping that I will remember to put it in this week's. But check the show notes and look there. And, yes, we did our donation last week, but I just want to put that out there that if you were hoping to donate it's there.

00:03:47 - Jenny GK

00:03:48 - Caitlin Kindred
Are we ready to do some real talk today?

00:03:50 - Jenny GK
Yeah, I'm ready to learn.

00:03:51 - Caitlin Kindred
Are you?

00:03:52 - Jenny GK
Yeah. Or as Snoop would say, teach me how to learn. Martha.

00:03:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Nice. First of all, again, like I said, we're talking about three things you should not say to your introverted bestie partner whatever, when you're trying to get them to go out and be among the people. Right. Okay. My sources for today are my beloved Emma Singer at Purewell, whose articles I steal on a regular basis as fodder for this show. So thank you to Emma Singer, and she talked to three psychiatrists for this article. One of them is Ryan Sultan, a medical director. He's a doctor also, by the way, medical director at Integrative Psych and Columbia University professor Dan Hourbach, who's a relationship therapist and works as the founder and co director of Associated Counselors and Psychologists in Sydney, Australia. Yep. And Angela Ficken, who's a licensed social worker and affiliated with Harvard. So, Emma Singer, these are real people. Yeah. Went to the right people to get this information and get this advice. So the first thing you should not say to your introverted partner when trying to get them to go out with.

00:05:06 - Jenny GK
You is you're so quiet, especially with that tone.

00:05:12 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. Well, how else is it going to be delivered? Right. No matter how you say that, it's.

00:05:17 - Jenny GK
Going to feel icky.

00:05:18 - Caitlin Kindred
It's going to feel icky. So duh. Right. How is this constructive? How does it help? Introverts are quiet by nature. That's like a defining trait of introverted people. So when someone says that to an introvert, they are personality shaming. Yeah. Personality shaming. Really? Are we doing that? Okay, so for the record, also, you're too serious, and why don't you ever want to go out and do something fun? Are also personality shaming, and they're not on this list, but they are things that I'm adding because yeah, they fall under the you're so quiet. Right. And when you say, like, you're so quiet, you're implying that the things that your introverted person loves to do, like stay home, be in the quiet, read a book, watch TV or whatever it is they like to do, or, God.

00:06:11 - Jenny GK
Forbid, listen, yes, they might actually be, I don't know, following the conversation.

00:06:18 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. What you're doing is you're implying that those things are boring.

00:06:22 - Jenny GK
Right. And not valuable.

00:06:24 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. And not valuable. So you're not only crapping on their personality, but now you're crapping on the things they like to do. Good job. Cool.

00:06:31 - Jenny GK
Yeah. They're not going to go out with you.

00:06:33 - Caitlin Kindred
No, they're not going to hang out with you. And this bothers me for one of the reasons that you just said. There's lots of other indicators that a person is engaged or interested in whatever is happening around them. Maybe they're observing, maybe they're listening. Maybe they're thinking about when they want to add to the conversation, but the extroverts are talking over in all the places and they can't get a word in. So just keep that in mind. As you say, you're so quiet. At the best, I think a person who hears you're so quiet is going to feel misunderstood.

00:07:12 - Jenny GK
Right, right.

00:07:13 - Caitlin Kindred
At worst, judged. So don't do that to your person. Okay, second one, don't be so antisocial EW. Right. I hate that one character attacking again. That's not cool. And quiet and introverted does not equate to antisocial. And just in case we've forgotten what antisocial actually means, we're talking about being averse to the company of other people or being harmful to other people. That's what antisocial is. And an introvert is not the same thing as someone who's antisocial. Right.

00:07:49 - Jenny GK
I'm an introvert.

00:07:50 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, me too.

00:07:52 - Jenny GK
I feel like I have some pretty good pro social behaviors. I have a podcast where people said I was legit. Funny, they did say that.

00:08:01 - Caitlin Kindred
Still waiting for my compliment, but that's okay. Neither it's neither here nor there.

00:08:04 - Jenny GK
No, they said, these ladies.

00:08:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, that's true. That is true.

00:08:09 - Jenny GK
And unless they're talking about multiple versions of me, I think that they meant you two.

00:08:14 - Caitlin Kindred
I hope so. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is people like you and I who are introverts, we do enjoy smaller social gatherings, you and I together. You wouldn't think that we are introverts because together structure we are not social. Right, exactly. But I get overwhelmed by sensory things, like too much noise. It's chaotic. I don't like it. It just makes me uncomfortable. And I'm short. So if I'm in a big crowd of people, I get lost, kicked, stepped on. Other things have happened to me at concerts. We won't get into that today, but I don't like it. So just don't assume that someone who is introverted does not value social interaction or does not value social relationships that they have, because they absolutely do. They just recharge differently than you do.

00:09:05 - Jenny GK

00:09:07 - Caitlin Kindred
Also, when you say, don't be so antisocial, that's a great guilt trip that you've just taken that person on. Right. I also would think if you say that to me, that's going to backfire because I'm going to go, but I'm going to be angry while I'm there, which is going to reflect on me poorly. And I won't be social even. I'll be social even less than I would normally be. Right. And I'm going to be mad at you for making me go when we get back.

00:09:37 - Jenny GK
I mean, don't be so antisocial. Like the subcontext there is you're being antisocial. Right. And I don't want you to EW. No, don't like it.

00:09:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, this last one, I'm about to get fired up.

00:09:51 - Jenny GK

00:09:51 - Caitlin Kindred
You're too sensitive. First of all, do not tell me how to feel my feels.

00:09:58 - Jenny GK
Okay. Right. Putting that out there.

00:10:01 - Caitlin Kindred
I even wrote that exact line down like, do not tell me. I say what my feels are you don't tell me how sensitive I am.

00:10:08 - Jenny GK
Circle of control, baby.

00:10:09 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. Also, though, introverts are known to process information deeply, as you mentioned, they're observing, they're listening, they're thinking, they're thinkers all the time. Right. They're constantly analyzing. And most likely, if they're like me, they're overanalyzing every single interaction.

00:10:27 - Jenny GK
They're not just thinking they're overthinking.

00:10:29 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. And probably reliving that one time in 7th grade when they fell down in front of a lot of people. Yes, that really did happen to me twice. And it was really embarrassing, and they just don't want it to happen again. Right. So there is that.

00:10:42 - Jenny GK
When I was like, a junior or senior in college, I tripped up the stairs on the way to a final, and I spilled my cherry mocha. No.

00:10:54 - Caitlin Kindred
EW. First of all, that sounds gross.

00:10:56 - Jenny GK
Oh, no, it's great.

00:10:58 - Caitlin Kindred

00:10:59 - Jenny GK
And I cried, mostly because I was on my way to a final. I was super stressed, I was embarrassed, and I had spilled my coffee. And I'm sitting there crying. I spilled my coffee. I spilled my coffee. It was my last meal plan that I had for the semester.

00:11:16 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, no.

00:11:19 - Jenny GK
It's towards the end of school, things are getting crazy, and someone was so cute, they're like, I'll take you for coffee. So sweet. What a nice after we finished our exams, she took me out for coffee.

00:11:33 - Caitlin Kindred
That's so nice. Oh, my gosh. I hope you're still her friend, because that's really nice.

00:11:36 - Jenny GK
I didn't know her. She was just in my class. Yeah, it was a microbiology class with like, 150 people in it.

00:11:44 - Caitlin Kindred
That is like a restores faith in humanity sort of kindness.

00:11:47 - Jenny GK
I want to say yes. Like, yes, it's great. And I did go to the friendliest campus in the world, but also she was probably someone who had like, 22 meal plans left that she needed maybe swipe before the end of the semester.

00:12:01 - Caitlin Kindred
It happens.

00:12:04 - Jenny GK
But anyhow, I got another coffee.

00:12:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Moral of the story. Sorry.

00:12:08 - Jenny GK
Back to the story about you're too sensitive.

00:12:11 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm sorry. That's hilarious. I'm coming back to it.

00:12:14 - Jenny GK
I'm coming back.

00:12:14 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm coming back. And we're here. So because introverts constantly process information and they do it so deeply, it makes them more sensitive to everything. Right?

00:12:26 - Jenny GK
Like, sure.

00:12:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Including their environment. As I mentioned, I don't like big crowds. That's actually a really common trait among introverts. They don't like overstimulating events, and lots of people are very overstimulating. So that's a big deal. So I'm just going to say this. Maybe consider the power that comes from that sensitivity, because a lot of introverts are very empathetic and can really connect with the people that they do engage with when they want to.

00:12:59 - Jenny GK

00:13:00 - Caitlin Kindred
That's pretty special.

00:13:02 - Jenny GK
Here's the deal. I love going to events when I know what the event is and I have prepared myself.

00:13:14 - Caitlin Kindred

00:13:15 - Jenny GK
Right. If this is just like a mixer and the whole point of it is just being around people and talking to them. I have to go back and listen to our episode on Small Talk and be prepared, come with things.

00:13:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Me too.

00:13:28 - Jenny GK
Say, okay, I'm going to quickly look up a couple of news stories or listen to a new release on Spotify and say, okay, at least I can talk about this album that just came out last week or something, because I don't do the no structure thing very well.

00:13:40 - Caitlin Kindred
I also get very anxious about just logistics. So what do I wear? How fancy is this? Are girls going to be, like, in jeans and something cute on top? Or are we talking like, jeans and sparkles? What's actually happening here? And if I have to go somewhere that I don't know and I don't know how to park, I'm going to research that, too, because I don't know any of these things, and I need to know every little logistical piece in order to feel comfortable. And then even then, I'm still stuck to my person that I came with, like white on rice. I just don't feel comfortable releasing myself yet. Unless there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. No, there isn't. Know that unless you're being too sensitive. No, I'm not. Now, this does sound a little bit extrovert bashing, and I don't intend it to. And I acknowledge that extroverts need to have those social interactions to feel recharged, rejuvenated and cared about in general, and that there is nothing wrong with that at So.

00:14:48 - Jenny GK
I'm married to one.

00:14:49 - Caitlin Kindred

00:14:49 - Jenny GK
I totally get it. Yeah.

00:14:50 - Caitlin Kindred
Well, I'm not, but I do understand what we're talking about.

00:14:53 - Jenny GK
Oh, no, it is a conversation often when John's like, hey, do you want to invite so and so over to watch the playoff game?

00:15:01 - Caitlin Kindred
No, I don't.

00:15:05 - Jenny GK
No, I don't, as a matter of fact.

00:15:07 - Caitlin Kindred

00:15:09 - Jenny GK
And he's like, oh, well, I'm going to invite them. All right, go ahead.

00:15:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Hopefully it's somebody who doesn't mind a dirty house, because I'm sure not cleaning it up. Thankfully, the only people we invite over are, like, people we care about very much. I don't have big parties that much.

00:15:24 - Jenny GK
Or break their kids toes at your house and don't sue you.

00:15:28 - Caitlin Kindred
Right. But you did not sue us, and for that, we thank you.

00:15:32 - Jenny GK
That's what I'm saying, is I get to stay on the invite list, right?

00:15:35 - Caitlin Kindred
You're always invited. And there are times when you've been in my house and I didn't know and you were just hanging out.

00:15:43 - Jenny GK
True story. True story. I thought you were running errands. I just waited.

00:15:48 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm just like and she's just in the house by herself while our husbands are outside talking and having a cigar, and she's just in my house, and I'm like, what do I hear? And I hear the boys.

00:15:59 - Jenny GK
And I was like, Wait, Jennyny, what are you doing?

00:16:03 - Caitlin Kindred
Why are you just in my kitchen by yourself?

00:16:05 - Jenny GK
Don't come here.

00:16:06 - Caitlin Kindred
Come hang out with me in the office anyway. All right, so my extroverts back to you. Here's how to align your extroverted needs with those of your introvert. What you're going to do is you're going to ask them to meet you in the middle, and you can even use nice. You can even use that word. You can say, okay, I need you to meet me in the middle here. All right?

00:16:32 - Jenny GK

00:16:32 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm going to acknowledge their need for alone time as the extrovert. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to say, I know you need alone time. And to that end, I have planned 3 hours where I'm taking the kids out of the house, and you can have the house all to yourself, and it'll be nice and quiet. We'll be at the playground, we're going to get lunch, blah, blah, blah. Whatever it is you're going to do.

00:16:55 - Jenny GK

00:16:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay. Then you're going to say, is there an activity that's coming up on this social calendar that the two of us can do together? Because I would like to spend that time out in the people place with you.

00:17:15 - Jenny GK
In the people place.

00:17:21 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm thinking about when that's good. When my husband was when we were just dating and we had separate apartments that were, like, a mile and a half apart, and he lived in a first floor apartment, and he would keep all the blinds closed, and I referred to it as the Bat Cave. And I'd be like, Are you going to come out of the Batcave where.

00:17:39 - Jenny GK
All the people are?

00:17:41 - Caitlin Kindred
And no. Okay, great. Got it. Good to know. But yeah, that's what I have in my head right now when I'm saying the people place. Like, are we leaving the Bat Cave right now? So you don't have to go to every single event or just don't demand that your partner attends every single event with you.

00:17:59 - Jenny GK
But amen I'm sure, and this is true for any relationship, introvert, extrovert, it doesn't even matter, normalize attending things without your partner.

00:18:13 - Caitlin Kindred

00:18:14 - Jenny GK
It is okay for you to go to a party or a meal or whatever without your other person, and you do not have to make crazy excuses for them. No, you can just say, she's not coming tonight. Our relationship is fine. Don't worry. We're not in a fight. She just said something else she needed to do, right? And that thing that she needed to do or that thing that he needed to do could be sit on the couch and binge watch old episodes of Sex on City. It's fine.

00:18:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Great British.

00:18:44 - Jenny GK
It doesn't matter what the other person needed to do. You don't have to bring a date to everything that you do. It's okay.

00:18:51 - Caitlin Kindred
No. Especially if it's one thing if your relationship is new and you really want to bring that person around to these people. But of course, at this point in my relationship, we've been together for 20 years.

00:19:05 - Jenny GK
You know what I mean?

00:19:07 - Caitlin Kindred
There's no new so it's like, oh, yeah, Kate couldn't come. Oh, yeah, no, Bryce isn't coming tonight. You know what I mean? Everything's fine. But don't worry.

00:19:16 - Jenny GK
He'll still be there when I get back.

00:19:19 - Caitlin Kindred
I do like him. I want him to be there when I get I mean, if you can't get a sitter, it's okay to say, I couldn't get a sitter.

00:19:31 - Jenny GK
It's fine.

00:19:32 - Caitlin Kindred
So she stayed home with the kid. Right. It's fine to do that. Or, I couldn't get a sitter or.

00:19:38 - Jenny GK
I stayed a short straw, so I had to come. Right.

00:19:44 - Caitlin Kindred
Says the introvert.

00:19:46 - Jenny GK

00:19:48 - Caitlin Kindred
It's fine. And the only issue I have here is make sure that you don't sign up for every single thing and then you ditch your partner with responsibilities that you would normally help with all the time.

00:20:02 - Jenny GK
Totally agree.

00:20:03 - Caitlin Kindred
You know what I mean? It's one thing to say yes to an event. It's entirely another to say yes to all the events. And then make your introverted person stay home with the kids every single time. Right. Just absolutely make sure you provide that time for them to be alone with all of this.

00:20:20 - Jenny GK
Of course. Right? If it's a work function and everyone's bringing their partner, of course you want your spouse to come. Of course. Your partner, whoever.

00:20:27 - Caitlin Kindred

00:20:28 - Jenny GK
But if this is a function where a bunch of people are just getting together to go watch a football game, it's okay. If your partner doesn't come, it's okay.

00:20:39 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, not a big deal. And be okay with that. You'll be all right. Especially if you're the extrovert. You're fine. It's the introvert who can't go anywhere without you.

00:20:50 - Jenny GK
So don't write about it.

00:20:52 - Caitlin Kindred
You're going to be okay. So my three things are just to recap, right? You're so quiet. Don't be so antisocial, and you're too sensitive. Just eliminate those from your vocabulary. And then when you want to go out, just ask them to meet you in the middle. Provide them that alone time, actually schedule it for them, and then offer up your own schedule and say, these are things I would like you to attend with me.

00:21:20 - Jenny GK
CK and GK advice. If you want someone to do something, don't insult them first.

00:21:27 - Caitlin Kindred
That works in every space, by the way.

00:21:30 - Jenny GK
We're going to trademark that.

00:21:31 - Caitlin Kindred
I'm down.

00:21:32 - Jenny GK

00:21:32 - Caitlin Kindred
No one else.

00:21:33 - Jenny GK
Let's take a break so I can go file the paperwork.

00:21:35 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, perfect.

00:21:38 - Jenny GK
Okay, so I ordered this book. It's called the unfortunate side effects of Heartache and magic. Oh, I don't know anything about the book. I don't know anything about the author. But the review was Gilmore Girls meets practical magic.

00:21:54 - Caitlin Kindred

00:21:54 - Jenny GK
So I ordered here for it.

00:21:56 - Caitlin Kindred
Love it.

00:21:58 - Jenny GK
So I'll read it this weekend, and I'll let you know how it is. But I thought, oh, that basically says, here, Jenny, order this book. It really does.

00:22:06 - Caitlin Kindred
We're back, by the way.

00:22:08 - Jenny GK
Oh, yeah. Sorry. Welcome back. It's time for some circle time. You can sit crisscross on the rug and get ready to share a story. The first thing we're going to talk about is things that we're obsessed with. I haven't read the book yet, so I'm not going to put that on my list. But there is so much good music right now.

00:22:28 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, okay.

00:22:29 - Jenny GK
First off, there's a new Beatles tune. Like, they're even labeling it as the last Beatles song.

00:22:35 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, they are.

00:22:36 - Jenny GK
Have you listened to it?

00:22:36 - Caitlin Kindred
I have not listened to it yet because I've been very lo fi beats lately while I try to get anything.

00:22:42 - Jenny GK
Done at work.

00:22:45 - Caitlin Kindred
Or when I'm super stressed and I'm like, I need my ocean sounds. That's all I've been thinking about. And then the occasional YouTube playlist creeps in there, and I'm like, okay, but I need my ocean music, my bilateral okay, tell me about it.

00:23:02 - Jenny GK
Okay, so this Beatles tune John Lennon wrote when he was living in the Dakota in New York City.

00:23:09 - Caitlin Kindred

00:23:10 - Jenny GK
And he was constantly just writing fun things and recording them on a tape deck placed on his piano. Now, this is like the late 70s. Remember, he died in 81, so wow. Technology at that point, like, cassette deck was pretty new.

00:23:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, but I think people still associate. I think people don't realize when, to me, 81 feels late. Do you know what I mean?

00:23:36 - Jenny GK
For cassettes? No.

00:23:37 - Caitlin Kindred
For John Lennon's death.

00:23:39 - Jenny GK
Oh, yeah, okay. Sorry. No, I get that, because not a lot of people think about his work after the Beatles.

00:23:47 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, that's true.

00:23:48 - Jenny GK

00:23:49 - Caitlin Kindred
It's all Yoko and that's it.

00:23:51 - Jenny GK
Paul McCartney has had 50 years of career after that.

00:23:57 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, my gosh.

00:23:58 - Jenny GK
John Lennon wasn't afforded that opportunity.

00:24:01 - Caitlin Kindred

00:24:01 - Jenny GK
So anyway, he's recording and just kind of playing around and taping things on cassette. Yoko Ono gives this cassette to Paul, which, first off, I was, like, shocked. Good for her. Like, what a gift to give someone. Like, Here you go, here's some music that my husband was working on.

00:24:20 - Caitlin Kindred

00:24:21 - Jenny GK
And so there were a couple of tunes that she gave to them. And in the mid 90s, George, Paul and Ringo recorded and released.

00:24:32 - Caitlin Kindred
Yes, this I remember, but this now.

00:24:37 - Jenny GK
And then, was just a very poor recording, and the piano was hard to hear, but it was also muffling John's voice, and they played with it as much as they could. George laid down some tracks, Paul laid down some tracks, ringo laid down some drums. They had what they thought could be a song, but it just wasn't good. And the sound quality on John's portion of it was just awful. Well, when Peter Jackson made this get back movie, he and his team invented some kind of AI technology with machine learning to separate voices and instruments and sounds so that they could use the voices that were people talking in the studio as dialogue in the film.

00:25:27 - Caitlin Kindred

00:25:28 - Jenny GK
So Paul watches the movie and we ought to give that tape to Peter. So Paul sends the original cassette to Peter Jackson and his people. They are able to beep, beep, BOP, beep beep and take John's voice as its own track. And so even though George had died like 20 years ago they had his guitar and his background vocals. Paul re recorded the bass line and background vocals. Ringo records background vocals and drums. And now they have released this new tune.

00:26:10 - Caitlin Kindred
This is wild.

00:26:12 - Jenny GK
It's so cool.

00:26:13 - Caitlin Kindred
They basically separate everything out, enhanced it all to make it be of good quality. And now there's a wow. Oh my goodness.

00:26:21 - Jenny GK
Yes. It's so cool. Robots made this song.

00:26:24 - Caitlin Kindred
Or at least made it possible, right?

00:26:26 - Jenny GK
Made it possible originally.

00:26:27 - Caitlin Kindred
It's not robots.

00:26:28 - Jenny GK
There is a music video that goes along with it and of course the music video is like very misty. It's got images of the guy superimposed on the future or I guess present. But that and then there's also a little twelve minute documentary on how it was made. And that's actually what I was watching while you were talking to me and I was not responding at all.

00:26:44 - Caitlin Kindred

00:26:47 - Jenny GK
It'S very good.

00:26:48 - Caitlin Kindred
That's awesome.

00:26:48 - Jenny GK
Okay, so that's the new Beatles tune. There's a new Blink 182 song. If you know their story, you know that one of the guys almost died in a car crash or a plane crash. Excuse me, one of the guys almost died of cancer. The song is. Do I have to die for you to say you miss me? Like, oh, hello. Talk about feeling your feels.

00:27:08 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, man.

00:27:09 - Jenny GK
I discovered a new band called the Dip. Not guac, okay, not Queso, but just the Dip. And they kind of got this like Carolina Beachy vibe. Really like their stuff.

00:27:21 - Caitlin Kindred

00:27:22 - Jenny GK
But my apologies to all the Beatles fans out there because the song that I am currently obsessed with and I don't think I will ever get tired of is Cruel Summer. I have been listening to this song for months and I love it so much.

00:27:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, so I'm going to ask you this and I'm not diagnosing you with anything, although we both know that you also have ADHD. How many times are you listening to it on repeat? Like, just over and over again? Is it doing that thing to your brain where it's soothing your brain?

00:27:59 - Jenny GK
Yes. It was on when I pulled my car into the driveway and I sat there and finished it as you do. And then when I left the next day it was on my car when I drove.

00:28:13 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, yeah. I've had several songs like that. Do you remember that song by Gotier? The Somebody That I Used To Know song?

00:28:24 - Jenny GK
Somebody that I used to yeah.

00:28:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah. That song did it to me where I would just sit there and meditate on it, basically. And then the Lord Royals song did it to me too.

00:28:36 - Jenny GK
So here is a shout out to my mom because when I was in high school, the song that did it for me and I would just play on a loop over and over again to the point where she would, like, make fun of me was Flavor of the Week by American Hi Fi. Her boyfriend. He don't know anything about her. Yeah. Over and over and over again.

00:29:00 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay, so that's your one. Now I would say my most modern one is all the Stars, from the soundtrack to the first Black Panther movie, the title track song with Scissor and Kendrick Lamar, who I accidentally called Saw.

00:29:19 - Jenny GK
And my daughter decided to announce it to everyone that she knows how awful I am. My mom's, her name was SA. Sorry.

00:29:28 - Caitlin Kindred
I will say I'm a lot less in touch with the youth now that I'm not in the classroom anymore, but that one I still know.

00:29:36 - Jenny GK
Yeah, it's fine.

00:29:37 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, goodness. I love it. Okay, so mine is it inspired her.

00:29:43 - Jenny GK
To put together a presentation. All the embarrassing things my mom did over the summer. Yes.

00:29:50 - Caitlin Kindred
Can I see that?

00:29:52 - Jenny GK
Well, she wanted to present it to.

00:29:54 - Caitlin Kindred
The no, no, because I teach at.

00:29:58 - Jenny GK
Her school, so she was like, oh, yeah, I'm going to do a campfire, and all the embarrassing things you've done, like, okay, I'm going to put the.

00:30:05 - Caitlin Kindred
Kibosh on that right now. No, we're not doing that, but thank you. But Aunt Caitlin would really love to see it.

00:30:12 - Jenny GK

00:30:16 - Caitlin Kindred

00:30:17 - Jenny GK
So that was a really long obsession time.

00:30:19 - Caitlin Kindred
It's okay. You know, I do this. I'm someone who draws on my son's lunch stuff.

00:30:27 - Jenny GK

00:30:27 - Caitlin Kindred
Like, lots of parents write little notes. I draw a picture. So I'm creative in the sense that if you give me something, like you give me a topic or you give me something to do, I can create it. But I don't typically have the ability to wade through my own ideas because it's all just like idea soup, and it all comes together and I can't make a decision, so I need guidance. So I've been drawing creatures, like, all kinds of different creatures, and sometimes people or whatever, but usually creatures and characters using a letter or a number as your starting shape.

00:31:07 - Jenny GK

00:31:08 - Caitlin Kindred
So I did the whole alphabet, and now I'm just doing some numbers. I stopped for a little while and did a few Halloween things, but I want to shout out the person who's really helping me do this. His name is Steve Harpster, and he has a website called Or you can find his work all over Pinterest, but it's basically like all of his he's, like, draw a dinosaur and he'll take an A and he'll turn it into a triceratops. Or the one that I did for Halloween, there was a J, and I turned it into a zombie. It's really cool stuff that you can draw. With his help and his website, I think that there's. Some members only stuff, but he does have books that you can buy and all these things. But I find his stuff all over Pinterest. You can just type in harpster or you can type in harp tunes or draw with numbers, and his stuff will come up. And it's usually, like, cool. It's usually, like, six steps that are really easy to follow. And it's super fun. And it's a great little way for me to kind of decompress after the stressful part of the day. You know what I mean? It's like, do the dishes, make the lunch, sit there and draw, put the child in the shower, all those things. And then I used to watch the.

00:32:27 - Jenny GK
Show in the mornings while I was getting ready for school. And not to be more of a dork than people already know me to be, but, like, getting ready for high. Okay, we're not talking about, like, third grade here. And it was like this old grandpa.

00:32:43 - Caitlin Kindred
Who did art on PBS, and I.

00:32:47 - Jenny GK
Was, like, trying to Google the name. I don't even remember, but he went by, like, grandpappy or something. But he did the same kind of things where he would, like, start with a shape and then help you draw something. And it was meant for little kids, but I loved this show at, like, 15 and 16 years old.

00:33:05 - Caitlin Kindred
It's cool. I mean, it's so creative, it's so smart, and it makes me feel like a decent sketch artist artist, but at least decent at drawing. It's really fun. It's not like one of those things where it's like, okay, draw a circle.

00:33:22 - Jenny GK

00:33:22 - Caitlin Kindred
Okay. But make sure you erase the lines around the circle. It's like, I can get out a Sharpie and draw on my child's bag and not have to erase things or whatever, where it's like, now shade in this part of the leg. And no, it's nothing like that. It's all just like, here's a five. It's going to become a walrus. Here's how we make it into a walrus.

00:33:44 - Jenny GK

00:33:44 - Caitlin Kindred
Really? It's stuff like that. It's super cool. Or like, here's a two. We're going to turn into a shark. Awesome. I think it was an orca. Doesn't matter.

00:33:54 - Jenny GK
Well, it's because they have kind of.

00:33:55 - Caitlin Kindred
Many we're talking about two really awesome stuff. So it's fun.

00:33:58 - Jenny GK
No, that one landed flat. Yeah, that was no good. No, that girl who said I have legit humor skills, I think maybe she wasn't mostly episode.

00:34:08 - Caitlin Kindred
Well, all right. That's okay.

00:34:11 - Jenny GK
Should we move along?

00:34:13 - Caitlin Kindred
We should. Okay.

00:34:15 - Jenny GK
So here is the Gem of the Week.

00:34:16 - Caitlin Kindred
How did you embarrass yourself this week?

00:34:18 - Jenny GK
I'm about to, actually. So I have a really great quote as my Gem of the Week. Yay cheese is a cousin to fruit.

00:34:30 - Caitlin Kindred

00:34:31 - Jenny GK
Yes. The problem is, at some point no.

00:34:38 - Caitlin Kindred
Is it weird that I know what.

00:34:39 - Jenny GK
You'Re because at some point, someone around me said that, and I jotted it down on my list of funny things to say on the podcast, and I don't remember the context to it at all, except, oh, here's a funny little thing. I'll tell this story one time on the air, and I have no idea when it was said, who said it, or what it was about.

00:34:59 - Caitlin Kindred
I feel like.

00:35:02 - Jenny GK
Family reunion charcuterie board right now.

00:35:04 - Caitlin Kindred
Like, I have it.

00:35:05 - Jenny GK
You put this there's grapes, there's provolone, there's a little salami. This is a big family together.

00:35:14 - Caitlin Kindred
Figs, some salami, and some yeah.

00:35:19 - Jenny GK
Cheese is a cousin to fruit. I thought it was really funny at the time, funny enough to jot it down. I'm declaring it. And then today when I'm working on my notes, I was like, oh, I'll go look and see what funny things I wrote down.

00:35:29 - Caitlin Kindred
Cheese is a cousin of fruit.

00:35:31 - Jenny GK
No clue. No clue. So the gem of the week is when you take notes, take specific notes. Yeah, right.

00:35:41 - Caitlin Kindred
Give yourself some context, because the number of times that I have written down either an idea for work where I'm.

00:35:47 - Jenny GK
Like, this would be a great blog.

00:35:49 - Caitlin Kindred
Title, or an idea for a tweet. I'm like, this would be so good. And it's like mom hair.

00:35:55 - Jenny GK
Okay, great. Did I tell you about the time that I put a sticky note on my calendar to remember an event, but I didn't write what event it was, so I just had a sticky note on Wednesday. Like, oh, something important is happening. I have no idea what it is for a long time.

00:36:12 - Caitlin Kindred
Like the finger, the string finger with the string on it.

00:36:15 - Jenny GK
Like, I don't remember something, don't know what it is. Oh, man.

00:36:19 - Caitlin Kindred
Of all the dumb, dumb things that I have done, I do stuff like that. Or, like, I'll write a sticky note, and then I cover it up with some other piece of something, a tissue, my phone, whatever. And then I forget what's on the.

00:36:34 - Jenny GK
Sticky note thing doesn't work if you don't see the note.

00:36:37 - Caitlin Kindred
Give yourself context when you take notes.

00:36:39 - Jenny GK
Oh, my Jesus. A cousin to fruit.

00:36:42 - Caitlin Kindred
Oh, man.

00:36:43 - Jenny GK
So if you're listening and you said that to me, or you were in the space where it was said, please tweet at us and let me know what actually happened that day. It was apparently really funny.

00:36:54 - Caitlin Kindred
Why were we having that conversation? It was funny, and I see it.

00:36:58 - Jenny GK
It's real.

00:36:59 - Caitlin Kindred
It's a thing. Okay, here's mine. This has been the fall of illness for our family. My son got COVID the second week of school. He was home almost the entire week because he came home on Friday, the first Friday of the school year with COVID And then somehow, magically, the rest of us didn't get it. But then he's had, like, various colds because we've all apparently returned to sending our kids to school when they're contagious, I guess mild fever and just give Tylenol and then caught up like devil cough.

00:37:36 - Jenny GK
Don't do that. Don't do that.

00:37:39 - Caitlin Kindred
I mean, sure, if they're not contagious.

00:37:42 - Jenny GK
Kids running a temperature, don't give them tylenol to conceal it, right. The tylenol is going to wear off. And whatever gave your kid the feeder, they're going to share it.

00:37:50 - Caitlin Kindred
No. 4 hours in. You get 4 hours.

00:37:53 - Jenny GK

00:37:54 - Caitlin Kindred
My son finally, after whatever this devil bug was, the incubation period on this thing, I think that the contagious period was like three to five days. But the incubation period on it was probably like two weeks because he starts like a little cough here and a little cough there, and he's like, there's just something in my throat. And we're like, oh, okay, no problem. But he kept doing it. And then all of a sudden, full blown fever. And we were at the beach with our in laws or with my in laws. And then a weekend, my mother in law's like, oh, I'm not sick, we're okay. And then like, six days later, she and my husband both have a fever. And it's the same thing that my child had. So I have no idea what's going on. But anyway, my son John told me.

00:38:39 - Jenny GK
That Bryce said that he was coughing up blood because his throat was so raw.

00:38:43 - Caitlin Kindred
So raw. That felt awful. It was horrible. Yeah. And he had a fever. My husband never gets a fever. And he was at least four degrees higher than normal for him. It was wild. Yeah. So I'm asking my child like, how are you feeling today? And he goes, Mom, I'm feeling.

00:39:06 - Jenny GK
So much better in my face.

00:39:08 - Caitlin Kindred
And if that is isn't motherhood, I don't know what it is. And with that, we're going to sign off for the day.

00:39:18 - Jenny GK
Yes. So go wash your hands and make good choices.

00:39:23 - Caitlin Kindred
Yeah, I got nothing else. Just go wash your hands and don't be so sensitive.

00:39:29 - Jenny GK
EW. Goodbye. Bye.